Saturday, January 26, 2013

resisting reality

(The above photo is Rasheed Wallace, telling the ref that the player missed his free throw because it was a bad call. He shouted "Ball Don't Lie" many times, and got a technical foul, which hurt his team, but it was an interesting cultural moment for Knicks fans. Not exactly the point I'm trying to make, but close enough.)

I went to the DMV yesterday, and I asked myself what the resistance was, instead of focusing on my resistance, adding fuel to it. I even asked the person who helped me. He said the DMV was a nightmare in the 70's but that now it was pretty streamlined.

You see it all the time. I was watching Freaks and Geeks the other day, and one teen was lamenting, "why are men like that?!" Well, that one was, the one you wanted not to be like that.

You see it all the time--resisting reality. I have a friend who is resisting the end of his marriage.

When you resist reality, you put yourself in an awkward position.

How do you accept reality? That's not so easy. It's really a matter of accepting the fact that things are not going your way. Sometimes we get on a run, things are going our way. But that just builds up the expectation that they will keep going our way.

I'm not so proud of my internal momentum to resist the DMV, but I was relieved there's a part of me that could see it, and was curious about why I was resisting it. I hope I am committed to seeing things the way they are.

I think part of why we resist is that we can build a world based on what we hope for. We actually will certain things to happen. But there are limits to that. In a way it's a balance, trying to will the world we want, and accepting what's really happening. If you're too accepting, you become passive and accept what doesn't necessarily have to be. If you're too willful, you fight reality too much, and get quite disappointed.

No comments: