Saturday, June 28, 2008

Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh has so many books, I read a few, but then I think I've pretty much seen the scope. But I saw on Marsha Linehan's list of recommended books, one of his books which I hadn't read, and got it: The Miracle of Mindfulness. I would put it amongs the classics of mindfulness: Living With Awareness by Sangharakshita, and Zen Mind, Beginners Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. Shunryu Suzuki is the subject of a new DVD which Bodhipaksa reviews on Wildmind.

It's a beautiful book to savor, reread, meditate on, to try and grok.

spiritual friendship

There's a new essay on Wildmind, on friendship. Justin Whitaker quotes Pema Chodron:

Pema Chödrön puts it well when she writes, “The support that we give each other as practitioners is not the usual kind of samsaric support in which we all join the same team and complain about someone else. It’s more that you’re on your own, completely alone, but it’s helpful to know that there are forty other people who are also going through this all by themselves. That’s very supportive and encouraging. Fundamentally, even though other people can give you support, you do it yourself, and that’s how you grow up in this process, rather than becoming more dependent.”

There's another book review on Wildmind about spiritual friendship as well.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

exploring a website

Somehow I've come across a website called Eco Mall, which I'm going to be exploring, and I'll comment on this post, once I form an opinion on the website.

Keats' Negative Capability

I love tracking down references. In many ways I've heard about Keats' Negative Capability before. He defines the negative capability as, "when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason".

Lovely.

Mindful by Mary Oliver

Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less

kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle

in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for -
to look, to listen,

to lose myself
inside this soft world -
to instruct myself
over and over

in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,

the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant -
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,

the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help

but grow wise
with such teachings
as these -
the untrimmable light

of the world,
the ocean's shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?

(“Mindful,” by Mary Oliver.)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

meditation for children



Emma and William were playing with my meditation cushion. I said, "hey, don't mess up my meditation cushion!"

Emma said, "what is meditation?" She wanted me to teach her.

So I taught her, a childish version of the metta bhavana. William was all over the place, he couldn't stop talking. He wanted to think about dinosaurs instead of a near and dear friend. He was squirmy, he couldn't sit still. Emma made a weird kind of concentration face.

I hope it gave them some kind of taste, I hope I didn't turn them off from meditation. I've got a lot to learn about teaching meditation.

I've also been doing mindfulness and short meditation exercises with my patients in jail, which is quite exciting.

Lute strings, right effort

A while back bodhipaksa blogged that Tiger Woods was the most famous Buddhist. I'd never heard much about him, and I think meditation is a key to it, you can't just have Buddhist parents (Tiger's mother is supposed to be Buddhist), you have to actually do something. Turns out, in a recent article in the NY Times, he experimented in meditation.

Trying to find the post on famous Buddhists, I came across this post about a retreat I missed. Dang. The same psychological criteria I judge other Buddhists by--what are they doing to move towards enlightenment?--I also use to judge myself so, by missing a retreat, I didn't do everything I could do to move towards enlightenment. But maybe not, I can't recall, but perhaps my family needed me. I don't want to create suffering in others by pursuing an individualistic spiritual path. I need patience in moving towards creating better condition. But who knows. I do feel I'm too engaged in the world, I could use less engagement, more meditation.

In a way, I don't really care what defines a Buddhist. If you want to call yourself a Buddhist, by all means go ahead. It puts you into a 0.7% minority in the USA. But more interesting for me is what are the efforts--how much time do you devote to meditation, study, sangha?

I feel pulled by my spiritual life, my work life and my family life (not in that order). There are three great projects in my life. I love my profession, psychotherapist, but I would give that one up first. My family is harder, I was left by my father, and it's probably psychologically impossible for me to leave my kids. That means it's not till they go off to college (gosh I hope they choose that route) that I'll be able to devote myself more to the path.

I consistent get the feedback, that I need to accept reality, to meditate, puja, study, hang out with sangha, develop spiritual friendships when I can. A key teaching is accepting reality as it is. We are like little children who don't get our way and don't accept reality. I am like a little child, I want things somehow different.

The Buddha had a nice metaphors. He suggested you make your effort the way you tune lute strings--not too tight, not too loose. Right Effort is one of the stages of the 8 Fold Path, it was that important. There were times when I have been too rigid in my insistence on meditating when I really should have slept.

I slept in this morning and I didn't like it, but I was tired. I'm a big fan of the sleep cycle--go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Doesn't happen so easily with children. Some times there are no easy solutions. I struggle to do as much as I want to do things that I think will help me on the path. In reality though, thinking about others isn't opposed to the path. Hard decisions are not opposite to the path. Trying to raise above and seeing the larger picture, non-dualistically.

When I look up non-dualistically on Google, I came across an interest site. Turns out Tim Allen has a discussion site, that discussed it.

But I digress. Right effort is part of my practice. I like to "go for it", and "put the pedal to the metal", which is from Smokey and the Bandit, where you press the accelerator all the way down to the floor in the car. It's a bit extreme. Keeping a sustained effort is also part of the journey. I've run marathons and I think I have some endurance as well. Patient is also part of my practice. I've been thinking a lot about the suggestion of my friend that that may be my practice that I can do. It's absurd to focus on what I can't do.

If you've read all this, I appreciate your interest in my meanderings. Writing about what I'm thinking helps me to clarify my thinking, reminds me of what is important. I don't know how to end this bit here, so I'll just have to end it.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

4 mindfulness & patience +

Some recent elements of my practice have included the Song of Four Mindfulnesses by Tsongkhapa

Another element is the perfection of patience.

I've been reading Touching Enlightenment by Reginald Ray, who has an organization called Dharma Ocean.

I reserve a new book for when I wake up, I'm at my most lucid and receptive. Then there are moments in my day when I snatch some reading. I've been rereading Nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg at the park with the boys. The Wikipedia article on NVC notes that it's written like an advertisement.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

join me

I meditate from 6:00 to 6:40 AM EST in USA. Join me at that time! Comment if you're going to join me.

jambudvipa

There's a charity that does amazing work in India with Dalits. I met with Mangesh and Maitreyanath the other day as they traveled through, on their fund raising trip. I hope they were able to raise some money for the worthy projects described in the annual report, that you can get on the website. Even if you're not a Buddhist, it's a worthy cause.

Friday, May 09, 2008

new FWBO blog

A new FWBO Blog.

The contributors are:

lokabandhu
Candradasa
dhammarati
Akasapriya
vajragupta
Samudradaka

Saturday, April 26, 2008

DVD Review

Earth Rising, Heaven Descending

The first disk, I approached with a reverential view—these were the sacred origins, albeit on DVD, of Bante, and his spiritual journey, which I have read about in his memiors.

It’s a cheap form of pilgrimage to watch a DVD, but that was the air of it. I do the prostration practice, mostly on retreat. Watching this DVD is a form of taking refuge in the refuge tree of the Western Buddhist Order.

I’m sure there’s all kinds of backstory in the first video, but I watched it alone. Someone said that the guy who lead tours has died. One of the fellows on the trip I knew through Jalaka. I think last I read he was off for the 4 month ordination retreat in Spain. He’s dissolved his Facebook identity in anticipation. I wish him well.

When I saw the second disk of Earth Rising Heaven Descending, I felt very sad about the paltry existence of the FWBO in America. Compared to Bante’s spiritual energy and commitment—I can’t but help but be embarrassed. Maybe his experiences are so strong that they could reach out that far.

Some friends are in this video, and it’s cool to see them in video. In a way the video is so unflattering about America, that I’m glad I’m not in it. I missed out for some reason on getting together with the gang in NYC for the shoot. I have a feeling one of my sons were born or something like that. Anyway, watching the video with my private preceptor was useful because he could fill in some of the gaps in the video. It’s an interesting video, not without it’s quirks.

I won’t repeat some of the gossip I’ve heard about other’s reactions to disk 2, but some have taken offense to the portrayal. I’ve also heard some were offended before seeing it, and then they were not after seeing it. As stated above, my dominant feeling was that of embarrassment and hope. I hope the order can grow in America.

I haven’t seen the other DVDs listed on the web site, I’m curious about those now.

Book Review

Book Review: A Deeper Beauty by Paramananda

I read this book on retreat, several years ago. My friend said he knew Paramananda from San Fran, and that I’d like the book. So I read it quickly on retreat, remembered liking it.

In my early days of Buddhism, I would quickly consume books. I had a kind of reading style, where I just plow through things. What sticks, sticks. What doesn’t, well it might go into my unconsciousness, and maybe it’s not that great of writing, but maybe something further on down the path will be more apropos for me. I have read hundreds and hundreds of pages to find a few interesting paragraphs that seemed to capture everything.

So one time I recommended a bunch of lovely talks on www.freebuddhistaudio.com to a friend, and she pointed out to me she hasn’t asked for that, and that in fact, she doesn’t guzzle the Dharma like I do. She is very careful about what goes in. I thought about that. My private preceptor is like that too. Hum. Something to think about.

I’ve moved through the majority of the FWBO recommended texts oeuvre, including all of Bante’s memoirs. Time to reread. It’s interesting the books I’ve reread: A Survey of Buddhism, Know Your Mind, The Boddhisattva Ideal, The Yogi’s Joy. I’d like to reread the new books on Metta and Mindfulness. I want to reread Meeting The Buddhas by Vessantara too.

So to make things lighter in mitra study, I recommended A Deeper Beauty by Paramananda. The mitra group ultimately dissolved, but I don’t like to quit a book I started reading, so I reread it, more slowly this time.

Here is a quote I liked from the book, that captured my changes in reading style:

P. 61 “It seems all too easy for modern life to become one continuous rush tainted with frustration and a feeling that there is never enough time to do anything with care and sensitivity. So it is very useful practice just to take one’s time. The truth is that if we can take pleasure in what we do and be mindful, we will find we have more time. Our relationship with time itself will change. Time becomes full of life rather than second by second stealing our life away.”

I struggle with an over programmed life. I feel very cramped by my obligations. I yearn for this mindfulness in every moment approach, but have yet to achieve it.

Here is another quote I liked from the book, which also reminds me of Pema Chodron’s work:

P. 79 “Being alive to ourselves does not mean putting everything right, having everything sorted out, knowing exactly where you are going and what you will find. Rather, it is a state of openness that allows us to be surprised by our own response to the world. This openness is found more often in a state of not knowing than one of knowing. Emotionally it is a sense of being responsive to our own feelings; being open-hearted. This open-heartedness is an openness to ourselves as much as to others, it is a taking care of ourselves in the sense of allowing the heart to have its say. It is a state of being that is difficult to maintain as it means we have to allow for the complexity of feeling, and we have to make room for all of ourselves.”

I like being surprised in myself, even if it’s negative, because that’s very useful. I’m learning in my psychotherapy training that opening up to all our subtle experience, being alive and vulnerable is the heart of the work, and why we don’t do that, and how to support people and myself in doing that.

Here is another quote I liked from the book:

P. 83 “Spiritual practice cannot then ignore the darker parts of ourselves. The meditator needs to look with compassion into the depths of the heart, and find what has been neglected and hidden away. Perhaps we will be surprised that the very things we have disregarded and hidden in the mud can, when cared for and led out, prove to have the ability to moisten, and bring new life to, the imagination.”

This last quote reminds me of one of my favorite talks on www.freebuddhistaudio.com, by Manjuka, called Dharma and Denial. I’m working on transcribing the talk. I’ll either post it here when I’m done or send it to www.freebuddhistaudio.com. It speaks to the wholeness I strive for.

I also would like to carry around Chapter 7 entitled “Unfixing Ourselves”. Often when I tell new people that I’m going on retreat, they say, “oh, that must be relaxing.” Read that chapter if you’ve ever said that and you’re interested in seeing why meditation is not about “stress relief”. It reminded me a lovely little book of essays that the same friend that happed me to this book, gave me, called Hooked!: Buddhist Writings on Greed, Desire, and the Urge to Consume. We have a basic reaction to the work driven consumerist society we live in, and I think seeking meditation as stress relief is a kind of symptom of that. I think even in San Francisco they market meditation as stress reduction. I wondered why there were no FWBO representatives in Hooked!. The FWBO is small in America where the writer is from.

The book affects me more when I read it slowly. I think about how it’s hard to do the things of Buddhism instead of acquire knowledge about Buddhism. Bante says more and more of less and less. I think the sexy dharma talk by a famous teacher isn’t the way to deepen your practice, but it might inspire you to dig more. This is a book about practice. I know all the stories he presents in it, but he uses the familiar stories well, draws out his meaning of them quite well. It’s enjoyable to join Paramananda as he works to share how he leads a more meditative life.

I thought of sending this book to my fathers. I suppose I would like someone like Paramananda to have raised me, to teach me this way of being from the beginning. I like this book. I recommend it. I will strive to live the teachings and teach them to my children. The dharma shines through this lovely book.

And he has a book review on Wildmind.