Thursday, July 08, 2004

11. Fell Asleep

I fell asleep last night, just as Sangharakshita was going to address the suggestion that the doctrine of the no-self contradicts rebirth and karma. Sangharakshita asserts that no major Buddhist teacher in the history of Buddhism had contradicted rebirth. I find it hard to believe myself. If it means anything, it's so slim, that it's useless. But I still need to investigate all the angles.

I really like listening to Sangharakshita on MP3, but unfortunately the best time is in the car, alone. Like driving to my therapist. Otherwise, others don't want to listen, and at night I fall asleep too quickly.

My therapist is on vacation for 3 weeks. I will miss him. The way he helps me is subtle. He's a good guy. I'm going to miss him. We talk a lot about Buddhism and I see him a crucial to my spiritual development, even though he is not a Buddhist.

I'm having better meditations by decreasing my judgments, or I experience them as more pleasant without judging myself. I still need to do some yoga, and lose some weight so that I can get into better positions and improve my postures.

Vajramati comes back today. I for one am glad. He's a constant here, seems wrong that he's gone. But I don't begrudge him retreats, vacations, anything. I just missed him, like it better when he's here. I should not treat him as the constant that I assume he is.

I'm on a mailing list for North America mitras, and Sandy Currie has been sending the most interesting posts to it. She's just back from Africa, and she's got a site of pictures. Hers' the address: The password is "looksee". Nice pictures. I don't know her, but I've been following her pasts, and I wish her the best. I think she's from Vancouver.

I hear William (Joyti) crying, better investigate.

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