Family as a pure land

I can sometimes get trapped into thinking the family is an impediment to meditation, retreat, spending time with sangha, Dharma study. But nothing is so black and white as this. In what sense is the family a pure land?

My answer is that my children have helped me to see certain things, like that I have a bit of a temper and that I have more work to do. They have also taught me kindness and love. I think devoting yourself to the life of a child can be a challenge. I think that's why it's hard to be the child of someone famous: They're less inclined to do the slavery of parenting, they're too important, too busy, too powerful. One of my supervisors said of raising small children, that's it's wonderful but it's also boring. To subjugate yourself to such beings is self abnegating, and of course something useful in the spiritual life. My family life teaches me as many things as I'm open to. Sometimes I yearn for retreat, Dharma study, endless time with sangha. Family also helps me to clarify that that is what I want, because I notice I can't have it. Perhaps not the most important lesson in the world, but a lesson.

So this winter vacation, I'm going to look more towards, how is my family life a pure land, instead of feeling blocked in my other Dharma pursuits. I will work harder to love what is.