Tara

When I was in the ordination process for Triratna I thought maybe I'd do a Avalokiteshvara sadhana. Then I destroyed things, sabotaged, lost contact with my preceptor. It's like calculus, I feel like I've taken so many algebra classes, in preparation to get to calculus, but I never got over that hump. I read Cultivating a Compassionate Heart by Thubten Chodron, but I didn't really feel like I knew enough to practice it, but I found an interesting book by Rachael Wooten, so I'm reading about Green Tara. My library has a copy and I've read some of it already and it seems like a good book.

I got a Green Tara poster once for Anandi, and she left it on my wall when she left. Left hand in the refuge mudra, ring finger to thumb. 

I want to try it out. Anything that gives me energy to practice is a good thing. I know it's good not to flit from practice to practice without really devoting yourself, but I think it's OK to follow your interests also. Wooten was taught by Lodrö Tulku Lobsang Champa Khedup Namgyal Rinpoche, who seems to have been taught by many in the Gelugpa tradition.

I'm hesitant because usually it's part of a connection to a teacher that you do such things. And I wish I had somehow the ability to do the right dance to get one. I'm sure I will learn to when the time is right. I went along to a few zoom sessions with Sayka, and even witnessed an empowerment but they wanted me to come a bit more before they explained it. That kind of quid pro quo rubbed me the wrong way and I couldn't come all the time. I accept it that teachers can have a protocol for teaching, and I might not fulfill the requirements. In a way I want to be my own guru, not in narcissistic or solipsistic way, but self reliance in this period of my practice is somehow important. Anyway, I'm a dilettante, and it doesn't hurt to try something out and give up easily. Maybe it's a preliminary step to when I do get a teacher, and get sorted out. Who knows. I does become clear that doing this without a teacher is a mistake, a person to guide you seems essential. This is perhaps the weird truth of our age, you can get lots of teachings but without a teacher, it doesn't get the support it needs to really blossom. 

I'm listening to the Black Tara mantra, because it dispels negativity. My daughter liked this one.

Link: 

Green Tara mantra (Wildmind)

How to Do Green Tara Practice (Tricycle)

Take Refuge in Green Tara Tricycle

DECHEN / Black Tara Mantra (YouTube)

Black Tara Mantra (YouTube)

Black Tara Mantra (YouTube) 

Intro to Green Tara Practice (Dawn Mountain YouTube. I think it's Anne C. Klein in Nyingma lineage)

Introduction to Green Tara and the 21 Taras (YouTube, White Conch)