Musings:
I've listened a few times to this talk. And I watched the last Harry Potter the other day, where (spoiler alert) he has to die to be reborn. And I think about the 6 Element practice, and my intense meditative experiences. We have to die to be reborn. I think about my recent revelation that you don't necessarily need a hand-off to a sadhana. I was thinking about the fear of growing, how it's scary to be vulnerable. I was thinking about my own security operations that take me away from unpleasant emotions--Netflix, video games, ETOH, cannabis. Addiction is just another aspect of the flight, as my wonderful Anandi points out. The fight to see reality as it really is, is a fight for everyone, not just people with schizophrenia. Procrastination, denial, lack of insight, lack of depth. "looking for water from a deeper well," is the line from a song, I think Emmylou Harris did a cover of the original. This relentless pushing to deepen and self discovery can be a bit annoying to others. I put the petal to the metal. Maybe as a friend suggested, I need patience, to let it unfold. And yet, I want to die, so I can be reborn.
I've listened a few times to this talk. And I watched the last Harry Potter the other day, where (spoiler alert) he has to die to be reborn. And I think about the 6 Element practice, and my intense meditative experiences. We have to die to be reborn. I think about my recent revelation that you don't necessarily need a hand-off to a sadhana. I was thinking about the fear of growing, how it's scary to be vulnerable. I was thinking about my own security operations that take me away from unpleasant emotions--Netflix, video games, ETOH, cannabis. Addiction is just another aspect of the flight, as my wonderful Anandi points out. The fight to see reality as it really is, is a fight for everyone, not just people with schizophrenia. Procrastination, denial, lack of insight, lack of depth. "looking for water from a deeper well," is the line from a song, I think Emmylou Harris did a cover of the original. This relentless pushing to deepen and self discovery can be a bit annoying to others. I put the petal to the metal. Maybe as a friend suggested, I need patience, to let it unfold. And yet, I want to die, so I can be reborn.
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1 comment:
Sadhu my friend, I'm reading 'Radical Self-Acceptance: embracing your life with the heart of a buddha' by Tara Brach...Brach has a way of seeing and explaining things that I'm relating to...and feeling good with...you might also...I got the book from bookdepository.com if you're interested. Thank you for sharing you experiences...you are generous and brave...
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