reporting in

In the Ananpani Sutta, the one thing to look for in the breath is whether it's long or short. I was racking my brain for other descriptions, but I'm not sure there are many words. I feel a kind of feeling when I drink too much coffee and don't eat enough. That's not the breath, but the sutta does further into the body. The breath is perhaps an entry point into the body, which is vital. 

Donnel B. Stern about formulating experience. I know insight can be beyond words, but words can help us think too. I like meditating and focusing on the breath and not following trains of thought. I like finding the words for things to describe experience. When I worked in child welfare, words were used against the client, so it was smart to shut up. Words can be a power struggle.

I meditated naked like Milarepa. Probably not as long or as much and on a soft cushion.

There's an article in the New York Times. Going past the breaches of conduct, it got me thinking about the semi-virtuous path. He says he aims for vegan but it seems he ordered the branzino quite frequently. That got me thinking about the Buddha's middle path. 

People use the middle path very liberally, and sort of mush it with other things. He just used it in the spiritual life regarding asceticism and food. He didn't use it for sex or other things for monks. But was he suggesting a middle path of virtue. Be virtuous enough but don't go overboard like the insect lovers on reddit. I'm not saying kill all insects. But a fixation on not killing insects isn't helpful, in my unenlightened opinion. Is the middle way an application of that, or was that not used with life. Supposedly some Tibetans say you can eat meat if the animal wasn't killed for you. You joining in at a table of meat isn't bad because the animals were not killed for you. I feel like that isn't quite right, and there are Tibetan Buddhists who say you should be vegetarian. I actually think it depends on your life circumstances. If you're living a marginal existence, eating meat isn't that bad. Perhaps in Tibet there's not enough variety around, but of course monks should do more to create that variety. The monks who say people donate meat, so they have to eat it are side stepping the fact that they could train the laity to not give them meat. Moral reasoning is complex, and a monk might tell me I don't really need to get involved in what they do. Like Eric Adams the mayor of NYC, who said, don't worry about what's on my plate, worry about what is on your plate. I think that's a general good idea, but when discussing ethics there's almost an implicit desire to solve the question for everyone. Veganism is for me, but you figure it out for yourself. People worried about other people are busybodies. I like busybodies. We're interconnected, so we should all be busybodies. That is what engaged Buddhism is, the organizing on a larger level. Lets try not to hurt these people as much with this policy. Food is a fairly personal thing, it's cultural expression is widely seen as one of the best ways of getting into other cultures. 

Some people are striving for virtue, and you're not quite where they are, and who knows maybe they're off base, but sometimes I get the feeling like I'm not woke enough and I understand the far right criticism of wokeness. I'm not afraid of virtue and I aspire to it, but there's something to be said for being realistic and real. Maybe I shouldn't pretend I'm more woke than I really am. 

The dying tree outside my window causes me sorrow. I love trees, and want more. I know the trees that went down in the park from a tornado. I mourn the tree across the street that died, and didn't put up leaves this year. I like it that our society seems to be valuing trees more, I see that value expressed in the media. 

What are the ways of expressing how one feels after meditation? I've heard that it feels like your coming out of warp speed, like you've had your brain washed, and had the mind defragged. 

Best wishes.

Source

Poem:

Hello knees, 

patterns of hindrances

thinking thinking thinking

what's for breakfast?

body body body

mind mind mind

beauty