I don't really want to write about this, Kamalashila is an awesome person and I think it's his story to tell. I wish to express my gratitude.
Kamalashila has announced on his blog that he's entered the final stage of life by moving to palliative care for colon cancer.
He has been a meaningful teacher to me over the past year with his Tuesday 5 AM EST anapanasati meditation zoom meetings, and noon Brahma Viharas on Thursday. If you've been Triratna trained and practiced for 3 years you can join still.
I met him over a decade ago. He didn't need a cushion to meditate on, we just did a short meditation with the NYC sangha. I asked him about equanimity, and he didn't say much I can remember. I'm sure it's not something easy to talk about. Today I would say it's a culmination practice, like the last stages of anapanasati, that is not easy to articulate. Radiating equanimity isn't like blasting love infinitely to the universe, but finding a thread of it, and trying to expand it, is a good culmination practice if you're going through the 4 Brahmaviharas. And going through them all and culminating is a worthwhile thing to do. I also use what I learned in anapanasati by focusing on relinquishment, cessation and disentangling.
What I get from him is a simplicity, he doesn't spin off intellectualizing. He seems to be quite a deep Buddhist, centered, clear minded. You can feel the years of dedicated practice. He loves talking about meditative experience and the Dharma. He's been quite generous sharing videos, the culmination of a Dharma life.
He has videos on Vimeo leading meditation on anapanasati and Brahmaviharas.
He has a discussion with Dhammarati on anapanasati.
He has a video on Facebook that's a yoga teacher Daniel Simpson who I'm unfamiliar with, who's asking him questions and he sort of outlines his life and his journey. He tried hallucinogens, he tries TM, does yoga with Iyengar, he meets Sangharakshita, and he did Brahmacharya.
Of course his book Meditation (2004) is where we can read about the near and far enemies of compassion, pity and horrified anxiety. He's supposedly coming out with his 3 last books, he thinks he can get those out. Something bittersweet to look forward to.
I'm very sad to potentially lose him, anticipate losing him, I feel grateful to have gotten a great deal from meditating with him online, watching him meditate, and listening to his guided meditations, and even though I have a superficial connection to him, I've greatly appreciated his generosity in sharing his meditative experience. He's not gone yet, but we're in the gloaming. I'm afraid to hassle him with a gratitude email, so I'm writing a post. Here he is on zoom leading a meditation in 2024.
His partner’s blog.
Another interview, with Moksayogin (Facebook). An interesting review of some questions.
An dialogue with Chandradassa (Spotify). The thing to do to support him, is to just get on with your Dharma practice. At the end it's got a lovely 18 minute meditation about the mindfulness of birth and death.
Bodhikara on Anapanasati - 13 March 2024 video. He's in Estonia!
8/13/24. They think they misdiagnosed his cancer, and now think it's a rare lymphoma that is treatable. What a reversal. He's in the hospital getting treatment now. He has 61-70% chance of complete remission. He's not out of the woods yet. Facebook post.
10/5/24. Shucks, Kamalashila has died. I cried a lot in my meditation this morning though I didn't know yet. I shall really miss him. It's Saturday and I meditated with him on Thursday. We did equanimity, upeksha and he talked about how we can't change the past, even though it conditions the present.
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