Milarepa quote

From p. 378 of Ten Thousand Songs of Milarepa:

"I attain all my knowledge through studying my mind within, thus all my thoughts become the teachings of Dharma. So long as I do not become separated from my own mind, I am always accompanied by sutras. I have realized that all manifestations are Mind, and the mind itself is the illumination. These are my Gurus."

Living Ethically: Advice from Nagarjuna's Precious Garland

Sangharakshita has a new book Living Ethically on Nagarjuna's Precious Garland.

At first I didn't want to write a review because I'm not an expert on the Precious Garland. I've read it, and had parts read to me on retreat, but in no way do I feel I can judge whether Sangharakshita is true to the text or not, whether I agree with his interpretation. But in the end it's Sangharakshita riffing off of Nagarjuna's Precious Garland, and updating it with his unique vision for modern Buddhists. Whether you like his vision or not, will inform whether you find this book useful.

I would categorize with book with his Mahayana commentaries, Tranforming Self and World, The Inconceivable Emancipation, and The Drama of Cosmic Enlightenment. I might add The Yogi's Joy.

I would also connect it with Sangharakshita's book Ten Pillars of Buddhism in that much of the book is also an exposition of the Ten Pillars:

1. I undertake to abstain from taking life.
2. I undertake to abstain from taking the not-given.
3. I undertake to abstain from sexual misconduct.
4. I undertake to abstain from false speech.
5. I undertake to abstain from harsh speech.
6. I undertake to abstain from useless speech.
7. I undertake to abstain from slanderous speech.
8. I undertake to abstain from covetousness.
9. I undertake to abstain from animosity.
10. I undertake to abstain from false views.

There are also positive ones of these (which I have modified a little):

1. With deeds of loving-kindness I purify my body.
2. With open-handed generosity I purify my body.
3. With simplicity, stillness and contentment, I purify my body.
4. With truthful communication I purify my speech.
5. With words kindly and gracious I purify my speech
6. With utterances helpful, I purify my speech.
7. With utterances harmonious, I purify my speech.
8. Abandoning covetousness for tranquility I purify my mind.
9. Changing hatred into compassion, I purify my mind.
10. Transforming ignorance into wisdom I purify my mind.

So the above ideas of how to move towards skillful actions play a large part in this book, and I feel the exploration is positive and helpful. He puts it this way:

"Ideally, we should act spontaneously, with ease and flexibility, rather than acting out of a sense of being hedged in on every side by self-recrimination or out of fear of transgressing some immutable moral law. Having said that, our wider aim should be to reach out beyond our personal happiness towards what is of profounder concern to us, namely, benefiting others. If you succeed in doing this, you are being a true friend to yourself." (p. 18)

There is also references in the book to monitoring mental states closely, so as to try and cultivate positive states, which makes me think of Know Your Mind, which is based on the Abhidharma, and it perhaps one of Sanghrakshita's most complex books.

So categorizing aside, this book has many strong messages. In my 7th year or reading Sangharakshita, I'm noticing the theme of intensity. Being a Buddhist is more than just reading books, more than just meditating, there has to be a real translation into action, and not just an ethical action, but also action that takes into account others, the boddhisattva ideal. Of course this book is less intense than The Essential Sangharakshita, because those are the edited highlights of his whole career, and Living Ethically is just one edited seminar. By the way you can find the seminar or seminars this book was based on at Free Buddhist Audio.

For a sample of the intensity and clarity, consider the following quote about vows:

"You might want to make a vow. A vow is a very simply a statement - usually a public statement - to the effect that you will do or not do, something either for a certain period of time, or for ever. Not that you'll try to, not that you promise to: you will. When you make a vow it is already accomplished, and there is no question of your breaking it. To make the vow is to keep it. Even if you don't say it in front of other people, you say it in front of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and you call upon them to witness your vow. For example, you should know yourself well enough not to make a vow out of self-hatred, just as a way of making life difficult for yourself, although even if you did this, you would still have to keep the vow. Should you break a vow, it means you didn't really make it in the first place, and this wills how that you are not an emotionally integrated person." (p. 22)

I found this very helpful about vows.

Consider this quote:

A Buddhist should be a walking paradox in the eyes of the world: he or she should be obviously happy, even in the absence of financial security, social status, luxury consumer goods, or a sexual relationship - all of which are commonly regarded as being essential to human happiness. The sight of such a person would make people wonder, 'How can this be? Perhaps ideas about life are not the whole story.' It is what a Buddhist is that speaks to people, far more than clever presentations of Buddhist Doctrine." (p92)

And this:

There is never going to be a kind of spiritual welfare state. The goal for everyone is to be oneself a creator of a Pure Land, not an endless consumer of spiritual goodies." (p112)

The intensity is provocative. Am I a piker? I've got to get down to it!

There's a lot of really good stuff in this book, and I could have easily produced 3-4 longer quotes that meant a lot to me. I recommend reading this book. And may you be happy, may you be well.

Hello At Last

Hello at last.
You have only
just begun to
know each other.

(Allan Gurganus)

Reading Sara Jenkins’ book Hello At Last, is like meeting someone on retreat and going for a walk with them. On retreat there is a heightened sense of awareness, kindness and receptivity, so in a way you really get to know someone, in a way the ordinary world doesn’t support. There is time, mindfulness and kindness. I have the experience on retreat of wishing everything was retreat. Would not the world be perfect if we could sustain this intensity? I cling to the pleasure of it, and that’s another thing I get to work on while on retreat.

This idea is carried forward into a practical idea of living in a single sex community, working in a team based right livelihood and going along to the center. I’m told it’s like being on retreat in ordinary life. I’m told people make rather rapid progress under such supportive circumstances. Unfortunately, from this perspective, I have a wife and kids, and do not live in the heart of the FWBO order where that would be a real possibility. So my kids are my gurus and I don’t have maximally supportive conditions.

Speaking of living on retreat in ordinary life, don't forget the upcoming Urban Retreat. There are some new photos, videos and talks.

To keep the dharma alive in me, I read. Spending time with a spiritual friend is not easy so reading a book is a kind of substitute. I was quite happy to get to know Sara Jenkins though her personal account of friendship.

Friendship is a lovely subject and Sara Jenkins chooses a more personal approach than Subhuti does in his book, which is much less personal. She writes, “I’m afraid of saying too much, of being too personal. Afraid of saying something I hadn’t realized myself…” (p.72). She is talking about exposing herself to sangha, but her book too is an exposure, deeply personal.

She strikes me as an intellectual introvert; I think I would like her. She experiences TBMSG in India and tries the communication exercises there. I was jealous she went to Pune and toured the sites, met Lokamitra. I’m also reading The Prisons We Broke by Baby Kamble, a Dalit female memoir. My heart goes out to this community.

My first draft of this review focused on what I felt I would like to talk more to her about, my preference for different language. I wish I could be in dialogue with her. I feel this is a wonderful book, and wish to have her further elaborate certain issues.

Her teacher is from the Zen tradition and she talks a lot about dismantling the self. I have a close friend who likes that talk and finds it helpful. I respect other’s path. I myself don’t find that way of talking about it helpful. I prefer to realize my parts, in my multiplicity and transcend them, act skillfully, in my own interest. Of course with awareness, old selves peal away easily and we mature and plot a more pure path. Which is I think an approximation of what getting rid of ego talk is all about.

She writes about a response she thought of, “…it sounds like something a therapist might say", implying she was being “less than authentic.” (p.63). I wondered about her experiences in therapy, I felt defensive as if she was saying therapist=inauthentic. The section is a quite moving account of how deepens her communication and friendship, and perhaps I’m quibbling, but I wondered where this was based on her experiences in therapy. She is well read and elsewhere jokes about Business Attention Disorder (BAD), a made up disorder to describe her struggles to pay attention to the accounting of money in her life (p. 70), as though she has some familiarity with the DSM.

So I quibble with her book, like I quibble with my close friends, a kind of way of intensifying the dialogue, out of a kind of bizarre friendliness. This is a lovely book which I recommend.

Someone blogged in reference to my article.

I'm not one to search out references to my blog, but I was heartened that The Breeder Files, mentions an article I wrote for Wildmind about parenting.

I was unfamiliar with the other article. Thank you for calling my attention to it breedermama, and your story as well.

Urban Retreat

Urban Retreat has a web page.

And it's on Facebook.

FWBO news talks about it.

Sona talks about urban retreat on Video Sangha.

The idea of urban retreat is to be on retreat in your ordinary life, a way of trying to bring mindfulness, and all the other things you bring to retreat, to your ordinary life.

The dates run June 20-27th.

vajrasattva

vajrasattva
Originally uploaded by jayarava

I love this photo from Jayarava.

Book Review: The Essential Sangharakshita

Book Review: The Essential Sangharakshita

This book is hot with intensity. You need oven mitts to read it.

When I read The Essential Sangharakshita, I read it as someone who has asked for ordination into the Western Buddhist Order, and has been in the ordination process for almost 6 years. I have read most of Sangharakshita’s books and essays, listened to most of his talks, some many times. I have reread many times The Survey of Buddhism, Know Your Mind, and reread The Bodhisattva Ideal, Vision and Transformation, and The Yogi’s Joy. I plan to reread The Three Jewels, Living With Kindness, Living With Awareness. My friends have traveled to meet him, my good friends knew him, and know him, were ordained by him, went on seminars with him, were at the talks I now listen to on mp3s, have lived with him.

I would like to meet him myself. I have a wife, children and work, and I can’t soon justify the expense in time and money, but perhaps someday. I write these essays in small snatches of times when I can, but I’d rather go visit him. I get away for the yearly weeklong ordination retreat, and that’s an imposition on the family, which they so kindly allow. I don’t give up hope to getting there some day. Maybe after I’m ordained, I will go to an order convention in England; I’d hope to meet him then. Maybe I will go over before I’m ordained. There is the risk he could die before I get over there. Life is short. Maybe I will die first, you never know. Reading so many of his books, hearing stories about him, watching videos of him, listening to talks, he is a spiritual hero of mine, but more than that I take refuge in the refuge tree of the WBO, and thus I take refuge in him because he is on the refuge tree.

I take refuge from suffering in the three jewels, the Buddha, the example of enlightenment, the Dharma, the practical teachings to move towards enlightenment, and the sangha or the spiritual community, which supports and is a place to give support on the path to enlightenment. This is an odd kind of formulation of commitment and yet one that yields to deepening practice. When I say I take refuge in the 3 jewels, that is something very important to me. I take refuge in other things, but they are not as substantial. I have other concerns, but they don’t conflict with this emphasis, and the three jewels are what I aspire to orient my life around.

I am grateful Sangharakshita has founded the order that I wish to join and I am grateful that in creating the order, I have a context to seek ordination. He has nurtured many of my spiritual friends. The ripples of his profound actions have touched me in many important ways. I go so far as to say I would not have become a Buddhist without his creating the context in which I seek ordination. I find the other groups too foreign, Sangharakshita´s understanding feel very pure, he has winnowed off the ethnic elements to the essence. To principles and not just practices, beyond literalism.

This is the context in which I read The Essential Sangharakshita. I can’t pretend to be very objective. But I’ve also read quite a lot of him, so reading this I’m not just stumbling upon him, and this context is deep, so there is a level of objectivity in reading him and being outside the movement.

There are many familiar old friends here in this book. Reading the essay about irregular and regular steps was one of the reasons that I asked for ordination. I wanted regular steps, please, in the spiritual development. The essay "Mind Reactive and Creative" is well known to me, but the redactor has paired it down to the most intense paragraphs. One might read this book, and wish to follow through to read the complete essays and books, listen to the complete lectures, which many of his books were created out of.

The essay on religion as revelation versus discovery captures the chasm I feel in difference between the Christianity I experience in the USA, and Buddhism. When I first read it, I was jazzed up in the articulation of the differences, they seemed to capture why I could be a Buddhist and not a Christian. Buddhism is rooted in the subjective experience of the individual and the individual is the ultimate test as to whether something is actually practical on the path towards enlightenment. There is no possibility for heresy, dogma is not part of it, there is no dependent relationship on the clergy, and the freedom and responsibility is up to the individual. The bodhisattva ideal is the antidote to excessive spiritual individualism. The advice of the traditions, the teachings, and advice of our spiritual friends further along on the path, are all important, so it’s not just merely about my experience, there is of course more to it than that.

Some of the writing in The Essential Sangharakshita is very familiar. Some maybe I haven’t read but I’ve heard, or maybe I haven’t read or heard it, but I’ve heard someone paraphrase his ideas. Some, I’ve read it, but I can’t really remember it, but it seem so natural like his essay on how to read the Dharma. Some writing I began to think along the lines in my own thinking, and then I read something that seemed like what I was just thinking on my own—I probably heard it before from him.

This book is almost like a party where I know everyone, and if I don’t know everyone they’re a good friend of a good friend so it’s almost like I know them even if I don’t. Often this book was a dose of spiritual intensity, and there were times when I had to put it away and read something else that was light, not intense.

The way a Mahayana sutra is collected over time, and edited and shaped, there is a winnowing process and a redactor who compiles and edits. I would argue The Essential Sangharakshita has the flavor of a Mahayana sutra to it, though it is more comprehensible because it is of our time. This book is my ideal Mahayana sutra.

Then there are surprises. I have not read the poem that starts Part Two: Buddhism and The Mind. I’ve read some wonderful poems which are included in a profound essay by Cittipala called The Bodhisattva’s Reply, which can be found on his website along with many other excellent essays, that are in the top right margin of this blog under favorite links. There are other poems I have heard before.

Sangharakshita doesn’t expect one to study all the time (even though he is astonishingly knowledgeable, and inspires me to study). Engaging in practice, which is a wide range of activities, is more important that intellectual accumulation, a sort of night table Buddhism. He is concerned that some suffer from intellectual indigestion because they have consumed too many rich texts, without really being ready for them. He’s saying it’s easy to read, run your eyes over the words, but hard to put in into practice. Putting Dharma into practice is the thing. I think Sangharakshita put me onto this quote: “Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe).

I’m reluctant to say any self-respecting Buddhist should have this valuable volume upon the shelf. Saying that perhaps over reaches this books import to those in different orders, with different primary and secondary text. But if you’re at all interested in going outside your order’s recommended text, and looking at the larger Buddhist world around you, and you’ve read some Pema Chodron, Jack Kornfield, Lama Surya Das, Thich Nhat Hahn, Bhante Gunaratna, Shunryu Suzuki, Chogyam Trungpa, Reginald Ray, Stephen Batchelor, Charlotte Joko Beck, Ayya Khema, Lama Yeshe, Geshe Rabten, Dilgo Khyentse, Geshe Sonam Rinchen, Lama Zopa Rinpoche, Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Gomo Tulku, Robert Thurman (and many more), well then you probably should read some Sangharakshita. I recommend reading Sangharakshita before you read all the previously mentioned writers.

Exploring the spiritual classics is a wonderful thing; I have read many spiritual classics that are not Buddhist. Perhaps The Essential Sangharakshita is a world religion classic that deserves attention from that perspective. I you want to work to deepen your own spirituality and you’re seeking a spiritual classic, I think this collection would be well worth your while. I don’t imagine only Buddhist will read this book.

One thing this collection conveys is spiritual intensity. It has challenged me to ask some hard questions. I have reflected deeply on how I could intensity my practice. My schooling in psychoanalysis will be over soon, and I am going to make a serious push to deepen my practice, and I am hoping this will be the final stretch in my efforts towards ordination. Reading this book confirms me in my desire to seek ordination into the Western Buddhist Order. Even though the book doesn’t directly speak about the nitty gritty of the FWBO/TBMSG, in a way it lays down the principles, which is what Sangharakshita is all about.

Had a lovely retreat!

Enlightenment Therapy

I finally got around to reading the Enlightenment Therapy article in the Sunday NY Times Magazine.

My first thought is "alienated awareness". You can meditate a lot without integrating, if you force yourself. That's why it's important to look at the total being. Beware claims of spiritual advancement, it takes time.

You can also misread the theory of no-self, and use it to attack the self and nor nurture the self. In the FWBO there is the phrase, you have to be somebody before you can began to dismantle identity. Or something like that. There's a story where a man stands on a chair and says, "I don't exist." Somebody kicks him in the shins and he winces. You exist.

I've never read any Jeffrey B. Rubin. There is a plethora of Buddhism and psychotherapy integration, of varying quality. I can't say how deep he is yet. But there are 3 articles on line which you can read. I'll have to check him out.

Intensity

Reading The Essential Sangharakshita, I felt intensity. Sangharakshita says, "...at a liberal estimate, one in twenty Western Buddhists gets around to trying to practicing Buddhism." Sangharakshita challenges me in The Essential Sangharakshita. So I asked myself how I could intensify my Dharma practice?

Am I too much of a worlding with children, family and career? While it is not easy, I don’t think monasticism is the only way to move towards enlightenment. I think it is all a question of how you do what you do, not necessarily the circumstances and responsibilities. Of course we work to make better circumstances more conducive to Dharma practice. I suppose that is my first suggestion of intensity, to really work to improve circumstances to really intensify and go deeper.

I don’t think I could ever meditate enough. Meditating when free (instead of writing essays for a questionable blog) and meditating regularly two areas for growth. There were times when I meditated 3 times a day (not on retreat) for 40 minutes. I could also amp up the time. I have worked my way up to an hour, but I think meditating for 4 hours would be intense. I have meditated on a rotating schedule of 40 on, 20 off, 30 on, 30 off for 12 hours. That was difficult, also, because it was overnight. Getting up and doing that during daylight hours would be easier than the way we chose it.

Of course retreat is where one can meditate more deeply, away the usual responsibilities. I think going on retreat often and for as long as possible intensifies. I think going on solitary retreat is more intense than being led on a retreat. I have never led a retreat, so I don’t know what that’s like, but I imagine it is more challenging and therefore intense.

Devotional chanting, puja, has been said to be more important than meditation. Who knows if that’s said to counter the fact that we have a meditation and reading emphasis in the west. Chanting with others is of course better than chanting alone, but chanting alone is good too. I could work to organize more pujas with friends. Also there are more than just the standard puja and doing a variety of pujas would be an intensification too. Really meaning the words as you say them, instead of walking through it superficially is an intensification.

Spending time in friendship and spending time with my sangha, and spending time with other Buddhists is always an intensification of my Dharma practice. Making the effort to be with friends, and the various rings of sangha. Of course the more intense the sangha, for me GFR retreat, the better. Making the efforts to connect with visiting Buddhists, and reaching out to be with Buddhists of other sects is important. Deepening the most intense friends is perhaps the most important in this area. I think you can only really confess to your deepest and closest spiritual friends. But also superficial attendance at mitra ceremonies, sangha night, and other events is also very important. Attendance, just being there, showing up, is an intensification of my Dharma practice, instead of being by myself, not extending the effort to plan and travel to be with other Buddhists. When the Buddha was alive he wanted the sangha to gather every moon day to chant, meditate and discuss the Dharma all night. Appreciating others, and all the nitty gritty of being with others has so much possibility for intensification of my Dharma practice.

Writing e-mails and letters to my Dharma friends is another writing activity that combines friendship and the intellectual effort of writing.

Study of the Dharma comes natural to me, reading, thinking and writing essays is something that helps me to develop and clarify my thoughts, and if it is useful to others to read my essays, then that also helps others. I suppose I take this for granted in a way, and I think there, too, I could push myself in an intensifying way. I hope someday to give a talk worthy of freebuddhistaudio.com some day. I noticed some non-order members there, and not just famous ones. I hesitate, because those who need to teach out of the desire to be superior don’t always make the best teachers. I think also if I end up giving a talk, then it has to be where I am asked to give a talk, and I reluctantly agree. I think the best Dharma teachers are not really into teaching, they are drafted to do it. Similar but not exactly the same thing is thinking, and thinking clearly and deeply. I could put aside more time to think. Sangharakshita said, "One penetrates beyond the rational mind by way of exhausting the resources of the rational mind."

Working for the good of the Dharma can be an intensification of the Dharma practice. I don’t teach or support meditation, which is the standard route, and we don’t have a center to pitch in. I do pitch in in many ways, and while on the one hand I don’t think I really do this one so well yet because I don’t support a beginning class, I do think I make up for it in other ways. There is always room for improvement. Here is an area where I can channel my energies, and work for the good of the Dharma in small and supportive ways, perhaps humbling myself to take an inferior supportive position. And also leadership by organizing and leading activities to the best of my ability. I fantasize about starting a meditation group or opening up a center in Queens, going to India and helping the movement there. Also just being open to who wants the Dharma and meditation instruction and providing that in a skillful way is very important. Also notice if it has a flavor of proselytizing.

Constant vigilance, and using the small spaces in life is also an intensification of the Dharma practice. Being aware of my mental states, just observing what is going on with me, and exerting efforts to change, and act skillfully, is a constant effort. What is the best use of my time? How can I intensify my Dharma practice? Consistently asking intensifying questions. There is vigilance about mindfulness, about being healthy, about being ethical, about being open to the beauty and kindness around oneself. Taking the time to nourish myself, watching out so that I don’t become too depleted and sink down too far away from mindfulness. Being a good husband to my resources and energy. Being playful and open. Having my mission statement at the ready, thinking about my legacy, the moral will I wish to leave my children. Exertion and clarity on the path, but also an experimental and exploring what works and doesn’t work. Vigilance is speech, saying kindly and harmonious things, using non-violent communication as much as possible.

Finally, I think I can simplify my life. Doing less really. Drop the impossible projects, and have more clarity in my going for refuge to the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. Simplicity and clarity with vigilance and open playfulness…plus intensity.

Why I am a Buddhist

Why am I a Buddhist? I’d say I am a Buddhist because of deep meditative experiences, bolstered by sangha and study. My friend said she’s seen glimpses “over a wall”, or what could be. I feel there is more. I feel that closing the distance between me and the Buddha is a worthwhile project.

The meditative experience was a deep absorption, integrating, healthy, helpful to reach my potential, suggested something more, imagine an awesome potential, and suggesting the means to get there.

The ethical explorations, the ten precepts, are for me extremely useful guides in how to behave, not in a way that I’m controlled by others, a sheep, or declawed, but in a way that truly makes me happy. I’m convinced it’s in my own interest to be kind and mindful.

Little things. Hot weather doesn’t bother me as much. I don’t feel like drinking alcohol addictively. You can read all the studies about he benefits of meditation.

Buddhism is pragmatic, and not intellectual, it’s interested in turning us in the deepest seat of our being. It’s not about asceticism, nor hedonism. Against my former anti-religions stance, I have become interested in chanting and other devotional activity.

Buddhism is a non-theistic religion. God is not pragmatic on the path to enlightenment. While I have some close friends who feel the issue of God is relevant to them, and I deeply respect their practice. For me, I don’t need something that doesn’t work for me. Some see that as making Buddhism not a religion. If you want to define it that way, I’m fine not to call it a religion: It’s not a philosophy, though, it’s too pragmatic.

Every step I’ve taken in the Dharma, becoming more devotional, developing friendships, reading primary and secondary texts, every retreat, every sangha night, every practice day. My friendships have been very positive. Every person I meet in the community seems awesome.

There has been nothing to make me wonder if I was going on the right path. While there have been revelations about imperfections and unskillful behavior by some people in the movement, the way it’s been handled has made me feel the FWBO is relatively transparent and integrated, open, not interested in covering up and misusing power. What I am talking about has been written about by people in the FWBO.

Look at the chairman of the FWBO, Dhammarati. Listen to his talks. He doesn’t seem to groove on the “power”, he seems to be slightly put out by it. He adopts his role reluctantly. He’s skeptical, curious and not interested in hypocrisy.

The organization is minimal. The preceptor’s college’s only task is to let people into the order. Every center is run by a chairman and a counsel and the people in the sangha.

The order is generous by offering it’s teachings free. There are some business, that teaching things like pain management, you can buy the books. Some people make a living through the teaching, which is fair enough; I don’t begrudge them that. But there’s some incredible commitment and generosity. It not an established religion, it retains elements of the forest tradition, appreciates the vitality. That’s what I feel about the movement—it is very alive.

I feel the ethnic elements of Zen (Japan) off putting, find Tibetan Buddhism alternately fascinating and ethnic. I think Sangharakshita’s modern synthesis the most appealing one, his vision of an order the most appealing. I’m not put off by his use of non-English terms. He is interested in all the movements of Buddhism, he’s inclusive, integrative, and well grounded in the fundamentals. I can draw the best out of these traditions, without having to shave my head or wear a robe.

And that is why I am a Buddhist.

Meditation and children: update

My eldest (5) went to his t-ball game with my wife. So I had the younger one (3.5). I asked him if he would mind if I meditated.

I used to get up early before everyone and meditate. But now I have a job where I don't get home until 10, so it's hard to get up at 6am when you don't get home till 10 and you still need to eat. So I've wanted to switch my meditation to the evening. I love love love meditating first thing in the morning, but alas, that's not what my life suggests. So I try to switch it. But I also try to meditate in the morning when I get a chance. Like if the kids go off to school and I don't have to go into school, and I have time before work.

Then there are weekends. I could wake up early and blow myself out with tiredness. But today presented a unique opportunity with one child. From my perspective, two is much more than one. They come together and challenge more. Anyway, Andres played in the room, and then was playing behind me with lego. But then I heard him grunting, some elimination communication. I got up after 20 minutes, but I think I got something, some integration and absorption and concentration, from a distracted 20 minute meditation.

I kept my meditation until recently, 6 years, 5 years with a child and 3.5 years with two children. But school, a new job and family finally ground me down and I would go weeks without meditating. Part of my practice is to accept the circumstances I created, and not be violently out of harmony by insisting on meditating or blow myself out with tiredness.

In my early essay on Wildmind, I spoke of the struggles of trying to maintain a meditation practice with children. I read it recently to reconnect myself with the intensity I had for meditation. I've been ground down lately, and lost it a little.

Luckily school is ending soon, from the perspective of my meditation practice, and I can work to reignite my passion for meditation, as my circumstances change, and opportunities present themselves.

I have this fantasy that my meditation practice would not face any adversity, that it would be unbroken. Maybe it would be easier if I didn't have to try and get it back.

video about editing The Essential Sangharakshita

FWBO Day 2009 talk by Vidyadevi speaks about the process of editing 'The Essential Sangharakshita.

She addresses the criticism that The Essential Sangharakshita isn't about the FWBO, she says it's, "for the order".

Subhuti talks about the book too.

He suggests the order is what is in the book, so perhaps there doesn't need to be any explanation of the order.

Follow me on twitter

Here's my link on twitter.

I'm going to post links there. I just posted a link about female vegans have dense bones.

Essential Sangharakshita Quotes

p. 150 "Human beings are today less free to think and feel simply, naturally, and spontaneously than at any other period in history."

p. 155 "One penetrates beyond the rational mind by way of exhausting the resources of the rational mind."

p. 156 "We are forever dropping one thing and picking up another, then when we sit down to meditate, unfinished business resurfaces and hinders our concentration."

p. 160 "These days we are constantly being given theoretical previews."

p. 168 "...at a liberal estimate, one in twenty Western Buddhists gets around to trying to practicing Buddhism."

Here's the latest review of The Essential Sangharakshita.

Here's an interesting quote in review of the book:

"One thing to note at the outset of this section is that those looking to this book for information about the Western Buddhist Order (WBO) or Friends of the Western Buddhist Order (FWBO) will be disappointed. There is not a single reference (that I noticed) by Sangharakshita to his worldly projects within the text, and only the briefest of mentions in the introduction and in an end matter blurb. As a Buddhist who is not familiar with the FWBO, I would have liked a chapter or so of explanation about the sangha, especially considering some of the information about controversies (true or otherwise) available on the web. But I can also see not including anything about the Order in order to focus on the material itself."

I found the above quote interesting, because I didn't think about that, me being an FWBO person and all. I would recommend Buddhism for Today by Subhuti. I feel that book captures the ideals of the movement.

Reincarnation

Thurman and Batchelor debate reincarnation.

I myself lean towards Batchelor's side. I think more along these lines:

"..if there were no rebirth, would I behave differently? And the answer is no. Rebirth was never actually a driving force. Is it for you?"

Essential Sangharakshita Quotes

P.108: "Where you are is less important than whether or not you know where you are."

P. 109: "One is not following the Buddhist path if one feels that one is being driven along it like a sheep, rather wishing one could stray off and have a nibble on some succulent wayside shrub or flower."

From the excellent The Essential Shangharakshita.

quotes from Suvarnaprabha

Suvanrnaprabha has some good quotes.

Here's the last quote:

If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you what to do, then YOU DESERVE IT.
Frank Zappa

Aaron Lackowski's guest post

Interesting article about the future of Buddhism, taking roots in the USA. (Broken link, but I'll keep it.)

Here are some questions Aaron Lackowski asks:

"How do Americans take a tradition with deep roots in contemplative practice and monasticism and broaden it for a society that will mainly be lay parishioners? How are families included? How are the communities of shared values and social action that are so much a part of American religious life to be included?"

I wonder about these things. There's a question about how I integrate this very personal spiritual approach with my family. They see me meditate, they see a photo on a book cover, they say, "it's the Buddha," and they can chant, "om mani padme hum." They play with my mala (that a friend brought back from Bodh Gaya).

Part of my Judeo/Christian conditioning maybe, I want to indoctrinate my children, really teach them a lot so they know a lot, maybe in a open ended way, but so they know something about the Dharma. I suppose I just need to trust that I'm going to teach them in a way that won't be indoctrination but will respect their individuality. I fear I will hold back out of fear.

The reason why I do feel confident is in part discussed in the following quote:

"By now everyone has heard the Dalai Lama’s apocryphal quotation on Buddhism and science. When asked what would happen if science discovered something that was at odds with Buddhist belief, he replied, “We would change our beliefs.” While some have questioned exactly what the Dalai Lama meant, there does appear to be a very different attitude toward science in Buddhism than in other American religions. This is an important distinction that bodes well for the Buddhist perspective. The future of all religious enterprise will, to some degree, hinge on its response to science."

It just feels more comfortable to me that Buddhism is pragmatic and respects the individual. Not that other religions necessarily don't but I never felt it.

Manjushri Puja video

Here's a link to a Manjushri puja.

Here are my past links where I write the word "puja".