Sunday, April 19, 2020

Consecrating moved shrine


I just did a puja to help adjusting the moving my shrine. I took it out of the living room and put it in my room. Now I can shut the door and meditate or puja or prostrate in private. Also I wake up looking at them, a good way to start the day.

I'm interesting in all the archetypal bodhisattvas, I find that kind of thinking fascinating but my partner bought me a Avalokiteshvara a while ago. It was the first bodhisattva I connected with and I've always thought I needed a push towards compassion and giving to others. There is the balancing Manjushri with his sword next to the Buddha, next to the rupa I bought at Aryaloka so long ago. I got a discount because there's a chip out of it's base, an imperfection. I like wabi sabi, and my broken blind in the window contributes to that. I used to put an A and a M on my thumbs with a pen to remember compassion and wisdom. I've always thought they went together well.

I like how the Heart Sutra was spoken by Avalokita, how one of his heads is Amitabha, love, the virtue that connects all the spiritual traditions. I struggle to put ideas into actions at times, and this push is also needed. Being what people need requires empathy to what they need. You see it all the time when children "help out" but don't really help out, the gap between putting help on others and providing what people really need at the moment. It's not a judgemental what you need, it's not that churchy judgmentalism that masks as spirituality but really is the opposite and pushes others away; It is ignorance and fear of the unknown. It also is compassion for those who relate to the world that way, understanding and love for that.

If you haven't done a deep dive into others experience that is different than your, and coped with the disgusted and horrified anxiety, worked through the pity to respect, you're only really stayed in your own little bubble. It's like a special education teacher who tailors a lesson to the learning style and abilities of the student, instead of just displaying knowledge for students to lap up. It is an attunement, a real seeing of the other, treating the other as a thou, profound respect. It is like a Pilates teacher who studies the student very closely and tailors a specific workout, and listens to them, not waiting for a break to speak her bit, but works to absorb their experience out of the pure desire to help. People make fun of healers, but really, is that really the biggest problem we're addressing in this day and age?

Is there a puja for nature? I wondered that chanting the puja today. Like always, I returned my focus to the puja, as much as that thought was interesting. I'm reading a lovely book, Where The Crawdads Sing, and it's got a real sense of place, and love of nature. Humans are more like animals than we like to admit. The toddler daughter that inhabits my days and nights, is half savage animal, half angel.

I have two plants in the window in the photo, but they change as my spiritual friend rotates plants in the windows. I have a display of butterflies I got during my two months in Ecuador, the trip of my lifetime, when I went to Galapagos, the Amazonian rainforest and the cloud forest.

I have a picture of the grand canyon, an amazing place I had the lucky fortune of rafting down on overnight trip with my lovely family, the great generosity of my family. As we went deeper and deeper the guide pointed out the lines of different ages in the earth. It was a primordial trip into the past in a way. One time we had mud fights and jumped into the river to wash off and continue the mud fights. The water was really cold because it comes from the bottom of Lake Powell. The guide read a story about a guy who swam the grand canyon, after his wife and children died in a car crash. At that time, the water wouldn't have been as cold because the dam hadn't been built yet, but it must have been a pretty amazing journey. I'd like to read more about that.

I have a lot of pictures from the various retreat pictures I've collected through the years. I have a picture of my parents who are so wonderful. I put many of the ancient books in the box that holds the rupa, the statue of Shakyamuni Buddha meditating. I have rocks to offer as offerings during a puja. I have a collection of monstrous toys that convey the monsters we need to pin and stare at like Padmasambhava. I have a picture my friend took of the high peaks district in the Adirondacks. I love backpacking in the Adirondacks. My sweet friend included me. I remember being in the woods for 5 days and then getting into the car, and thinking the Bee Gees song Stayin Alive sounding so profound after the silence of hiking. Welcome back to culture.

If the joy gratitude sounds like a humble brag or self cherishing, I'm sorry, but I use these peak experiences to help me connect to metta and spread it to others.

As I was doing a puja I remembered on my first retreat, this woman who thought it was funny to give away the merit she had gained (in acting thus). She took merit seriously, materialistically. I thought it was cool that she did that. I went for a walk with her every day because I found not talking hard, and I was curious about another human being and she really needed to talk and be listened to. That first retreat that was led by Manapa on the Brahma Viharas was mind blowing and I'm never going to forget how grateful I am for the experience at Aryaloka. Just like I'll never stop being grateful to Vajramati for teaching me how to meditate, or Manjuvajra for teaching me the prostration practice, or the kind wise leadership of Dhammarati and Naghabodi on retreat. For Bodhipaksa and Vidhuma taking the time to talk to me. I'll never forget the talk a friend gave on a Kukai pilgrimage he took walking around a Japanese island and staying in a temple, wearing a white outfit. I'll never forget all the walks I took with my dear friends in the spiritual life, too many to list or account for. I'll never forget on a deep retreat feeling connected to the wind, the trees blowing in the wind, the earth anchoring the trees, the water nourishing the trees. Even the briefest insight into interbeing can be transformative.

May all beings be happy, may all beings be well in these difficult times of quarantine and shelter at home of Covid 19. May your find and make your sacred spaces and connect to what is deepest in us all. 

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