P. 176 Road To Heaven

There's a history of a fellow named Liang Hung. He has a story that sounds uniquely Chinese (not American). His fire accidentally spread and a neighbors farm caught on fire. (I think of Thoreau accidentally setting a fire that burned out a bunch of land in Concord.) So he gave the neighbor his pigs as compensation. The fame of his honesty and integrity spread and he was offered many women in marriage. He declined the offers. An ugly strong woman said she would only marry him, to get out of getting married because people wanted her strength. When he heard that, he wanted to marry her, and they got married. He was a poet and wrote a famous song people still sing.

When I google it, people give the name to women. A great musician or a general. Can't verify that story via in the incomplete internet. 

Just because a Buddhist says something doesn't mean it is true

"This type of meditation is not recommended for the meditator who is gay or is bi-sexual. This is by no means stating that the Buddha was against these kinds of sexual activities, but as far as doing Loving-Kindness Meditation, as a primary meditation, it is just not recommended for gays or bisexuals. Buddhism is actually an asexual teaching that goes way beyond anything having to do with the sex of an individual. It has to do with how the Mind of a Human Being actually works. It is best for those who are gay or bi-sexual to do the Mindfulness of Breathing Meditation. Why? Because if a gay person chooses to do the Mettā Meditation and they send mettā to a spiritual friend and that is a person of the same sex, then it may cause some unwholesome states of lust to arise or if the meditator picks a person of the opposite sex, it might cause some unwholesome states of hatred to arise. Either way this is the operational teachings for the meditation on Loving-Kindness and it is not recommended because of the hindrances or problems which may arise and block progress. There is no finger pointing or condemning here. This is just a statement of fact that helps the meditator to progress more quickly in their meditation practice so that they can become even more happy! Not every meditation object is suitable for every personality type." 

Life is Meditation, Meditation is Life! (2014) by Venerable Bhante Vimalaramsi Mahathera.

So my question is what about the dangers to hetrosexuals?

Of course he's from Missouri. 

Thoughts

The fantasy of Road To Heaven and exploring the hermit culture of China is that there is this idea of the hermit in the hills who has deep practice, and has wisdom that you can go and tap into. One of the monks said it though, the people can't really listen, and all he gives is hints that there could be something there if they went for it. There's on odd feeling when you read Reddit, and people ask for worldly solutions to worldly problems on a spiritual subreddit. People give answers because there are always people who will give answers on Reddit, even if they're joking or know nothing. 

Romanticism or idealism, is in the way I want to use it for this essay, is an idea that you like. I think even with Buddhism, there's more of a reality focus and what seems nice but isn't put into action is useless. So my question is the romanticism of Road To Heaven useless? In some ways suggesting possibilities and saying, "you can do more", is a good thing.

OK, but what about me personally. I have a very specific memory of someone being afraid of my dreaming that a sangha bought some land and was building a retreat center. It was if my fantasy was somehow unskillful. That retreat center is complete, or almost complete, and there are many retreats at that site, and it has created much good. So I'm not sure what the danger of my dreaming about it was. But let's say being too dreamy isn't a great thing, being reality oriented is preferred, in the spiritual life. Maybe because the spiritual life isn't tethered by the world in a way, that it is susceptible to being untethered. Like a pure land sutra, you can dream about things, but in dreams begin responsibilities. 

At a certain point in my spiritual life, everything points to intensification. It's all a slippery slope to being a monk. 

The reality is different. Following up in Chinese Monks, Red Pine meets one idealistic and unintellectual hermit. There are more Taoist healers, martial arts people. Monks who think they know it all, and monks who think it's silly to talk to people. The city shimmers in the distance as civilization is closing in, cutting down on the wild places where hermits can exist. 

The devotion is what is amazing. They're not towering intellects, and even maybe super spiritually evolved people, they're just humble devout people who see through the illusion of modern existence. 

I read a book about daydreams. You can interpret them as much as you can sleeping dreams. They have information in them if you want. I like the idea of supporting hermit monks in the wilderness, or even being one myself. And yet I'm tethered to my worldly responsibilities. I'm a epigone manque who doesn't own the choices I've made. Inside myself there is a confederacy of dunces. I prefer confrontation to consolation in spirituality. 

I watched the movie Encanto the other day. As profound as Don't Look Up. It's about a family of magical talented people who have a sister who doesn't have any magic talent. The house is having a problem, but as usual it's intergenerational trauma rearing its ugly head. Lovely movie. Is there nothing Lin-Manuel can't do? I watched Tick Tick...Boom! and that was amazing.

Don't Look Up is about denial, self obsession and supposedly he had to rewrite it when the pandemic hit because it was just so obvious in a way that some jokes no long hit, in the pre-pandemic world they might have. It's puncturing instead of dream inspiring. What it punctures wasn't anything anyway, so it's OK.

Chinese Monks

Bill Porter who became Red Pine is older in this one, so this is an update. There's a real respect and devotion that I really like.

Bird sounds, dogs barking, insects, beautiful panoramas. As the effects of the Cultural Revolution wear off more people come there. One guy says Porter's book Road To Heaven opening things up a little bit, re-educated the Chinese about their cultural heritage. 

A young fellow recognizes him. Porter leaves some money under his bowl of water. The fellow lets bugs bite him. He bows very deeply. 

A woman carved out a cave. It took 3 people 2 months to chisel out a cave. Red Pine talks about translating poets. He was just doing it, and somehow someone got interested in publishing them. I've ordered all the red pine books from my library. I have a copy of his book on the Heart Sutra, maybe I'll give it a reread. He had a Taiwanese wife, and he wasn't allowed to go to China until 1989. He wanted to inspire Americans to a more austere practice, they are too comfortable. He didn't know his book would be a hit in China, but it was.

She gets up at 430am and meditates first thing. She goes for a walk around 6, and by 8 after refreshing herself she makes breakfast. She farms, chants and copies texts, and reads them till 11. Her favorite text is Tao Te Ching. She eats rice porridge and vegetables. If she's not hungry, she doesn't eat. Lay people bring her rice and noodles. She eats potatoes, yams and cabbage in the winter. She eats ginger to cope with the dampness. She has a bush that tastes like mint to Porter, but she thinks it smells like patchouli and it's "heat clearing" in the summer.

He first came in 1989, and he says he's 71 which is 7 years ago, so around 2014-15 the footage was shot. He reports he's lived in Seattle for 21 years, so that's 1993 onward. He talks about his first translation of a Pure Land sutra about the 16 contemplations, it starts out about the sun setting.

The monks seem more like hipsters as he goes along, they have fruit from somewhere else, they they say all the right Buddhist things. He speaks to the camera.

Another monk says tourism isn't bad if the monks are closed off and can practice in part of the monastery and the tourists come and light incense in another part.

The sun sets. One monk thinks words don't really help people, teaching them to meditate, chant and study gets more done. He doesn't like to talk much. He didn't feel like the Dharma healed people's problems. Just giving a hint of the Dharma life possibilities is better. You can see the lights of a city encroaching on the remote mountain monastery. It took Pine 5 hours to hike to it.

A female monks points out that she doesn't have to go to the village any more, presumably people bring food now. They used dynamite to blow up and get rocks for construction. She feels like that Tao is receding. The loss of hardship weakens the practice. Those with weak will quit. She chants the Shurangama Sutra (Some of the main themes of the Śūraṅgama Sūtra are the worthlessness of the Dharma when unaccompanied by samādhi power, and the importance of moral precepts as a foundation for the Buddhist practice. Also stressed is the theme of how one effectively combats delusions that may arise during meditation.). She makes him some bread, garden vegetables and soup, while he stares off into the distance. They show her lips move while she reads a sutra.

He takes a walk with an acupuncturist. He meets a fellow who wants to go over Taoist lineage. He gives him a poem to stick in his pocket. Another guy practices Tai Chi and martial arts. It ends with footage of a guy carrying huge bags up the mountain. 

Chinese Monks. This one has commercials, feel really violent next to the peaceful setting. I'll only watch it once, I'll watch the other one over and over probably.

Among The White Clouds

With the documentary in the background while I read, I can hear the birds on the mountains. I can hear the different way people talk in Chinese. When he talks in English, I take a break from reading and listen. It's usually about his attempts to find someone. Sometimes I take a break and read the text translations of what people are saying. They talk about Buddha nature, the nature of the mind, the struggle for existence. Some of the hermits can't read. They meditate. You can see them gathering stuff to eat. Getting water. Taking down laundry. Making tea. Cooking a meal. Eating. Chanting to Buddha statues. There are some young monks with an older monk. A woman alone. All sorts of scenarios. Endlessly varied, unique.

Among The White Clouds. I can't believe this is free on YouTube, but it is. Quite amazing.

I have a fantasy of living by mountains filled with Buddhist hermits, but I can understand their language, and I bring them food and whatever they need. The Chinese tradition of mountain hermits is as old as time, but unique.

One of the things you notice is their humility. They're just simple people carrying on. America has such a hype culture that it's hard to imagine Americans talking that way, but I bet some would. What you feel is great devotion.

Road to heaven

 

I guess Porter, or Red Pine, translates poetry, so he's open to the poetry of life. 

I'm getting more interested in Tao. Last night I listened to a podcast with Benjamin Hoff. The emphasis on nature and natural, in harmony with Buddhism, is interesting. 

It's sad the hermits retreat further into the mountains to get away from the tourists, who get superficial teachings.

Chapter 6 starts out talking about Buddhism coming to China and there's been a recent discovery where they think some statues are from 2,200 years ago. 2,300 years ago in Pakistan. 

My theory is that Buddhism swept the globe but died out because it's such a hard and subtle path, but there was a crazy awakening during the Buddha's life, and for 100's of years following it. What an amazing thing. 

Chapter 6 has some good discussion about the differences and integration of Buddhism into Taoism. 

huatou

"Huatou points to this source, this abyss of the unknown."

"...practice of huatou directly confronts this wonderment and quest for resolution—not through words, discursive reasoning, or ruminations, but by making the question itself the experiential center of our spiritual practice."

Tricycle 

Letting go

I have a memento of a friendship, somehow I accidentally took pool cue chalk from a day with my friend when we played pool. My daughter found it. She wants to try it as chalk on her chalkboard. That was not the meaning for it, it's not a pretty color, but it's not like I'm saving it to chalk my cue. I probably haven't played pool in 5 years. There's a part of me that wants to preserve something for the use it was intended. But my daughter helps me to be flexible. I concede, you can use it however you want my darling.

I'm reading Inverting The Pyramid, about soccer tactics, and it says:

"If there is one thing that distinguishes the coaches who have had success over a prolonged period -Sir Alex Ferguson, Valeriy Lobanovskyi, Bill Shankly, Boris Arkadiev -it is that they have always been able to evolve. Their teams played the game in very different ways, but what they all shared was the clarity of vision to successfully recognise when the time was right to abandon a winning formula and the courage to implement a new one."

Americans are tired of the pandemic. Omicron feels like extra overtime. I was confused and had some anxiety like I had when the vaccine wasn't out, when I hadn't survived getting Covid. I know I can survive it, at least that strain, and I am vaccinated for the love of all beings. Most of the pandemic now is amongst the people who don't get vaccinated. I'm going to keep behaving for them. I've made mistakes. Seems like a mistake to not get vaccinated, I've yet to hear a good reason beyond medical with a real doctor telling you explicitly to not get vaccinated, writing a note. All it exposes is the amount of malarkey in people's brains. No doubt women and minorities are right to distrust the medical establishment. Just not in this case. I try to let go of my anger around this issue. "Live and let live" doesn't seem to cut it for me, because I read about people dying all the time, we're rounding on a million people dying of this. It's too abstract for some people. For some people, it's all too real. My friend lost 4 relatives, makes sure her children are vaccinated. That's just extra excuses for not letting go for me. What I'm letting go of is knowing I'm right, and accepting the reality of what is happening. The pandemic still is going on and there are lots of people for whatever reason who aren't pulling on the oars of the public good. 

There's that apocalyptic sci-fi series The 100. Everyone launches plans that work best if everyone else goes along with it, but nobody goes along with it, launch their own plans that require everyone going along with it. Survive and go for another day, but we want more than survival. If we're all interconnected it does hurt me that others are hurting. This is the task of equanimity, pulling back just enough so you're not scorched by others suffering, but not walking away either. I see it. Trying to let go isn't burying your head in the sand, it's part of a complicated adjustment for equanimity.

Paragraph

The story is almost magical. Sometimes it's like I went here, I went there, I've always wondered how to keep to the interesting essential things in travel writing without creating only a few poems. He writes a lot of stuff, and I looked on good reads and 411 people read this and his next one only 60 read, but I guess I'll reading Finding Them Gone next.

Traveling to engage with literature, history and spirituality seems like a wonderful idea. I think the only other books that I have that do that are Natalie Goldberg and Sangharakshita. Milarepa isn't looking he's providing literature and culture and history.

Favorite Bible Quotes

Hebrews 10:24 Passion Translation

Discover creative ways to encourage others and to motivate them toward acts of compassion, doing beautiful works as expressions of love.

Matthew 7:5 Standard English Version

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Proverbs 27:7

He who is satisfied loathes honey, but to the hungry soul any bitter thing is sweet.

Luke 6.31

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

“Let everything you do be done in love” I Corinthians 16:14

Song of Solomon 2:5 (NIV)

Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.

Psalm 63:3

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

Galatians 6:2‭-‬3

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. 

Proverbs 3:3‭-‬4 

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. 

I've never really read about Barlaam and Josaphat, but it's the Bible version of the Buddha. You know it's good when they try to appropriate it.

bell hooks passed away today

Read her amazing interview with They in Lion's Roar. 

TTH quote: “if you have to choose between Buddhism and peace, then you must choose peace.”

“Buddhism is in your heart. Even if you don’t have any temple or any monks, you can still be a Buddhist in your heart and life.” 

"the true teacher is within us."

"Gloria Jean Watkins was born on Sept. 25, 1952 in Hopkinsville, Ky. to Veodis and Rosa Bell Watkins, the fourth of seven siblings. She attended segregated schools in Christian County, then went on to Stanford University in California, then earned a master’s in English at the University of Wisconsin and a doctorate in literature at the University of California at Santa Cruz. She adopted her great-grandmother’s name as her pen name in lower case letters, she told interviewers, in order to emphasize the “substance of books, not who I am.”"

Read more at: https://www.kentucky.com/news/state/kentucky/article256616171.html

Road To Heaven by Bill Porter

Bill Porter had an interesting childhood. His father was a farmer, then bank robber. He got pardoned because his sisters were waitresses where the governor used to dine, and they talked him into a pardon. Then he became a hotel millionaire. The money was frozen in a divorce, and Porter went into the military and then used the GI Bill to educate himself, but he lost interest, somehow ended up in Taiwan as a monk for 3 years, and then did his travels to write this book.

He is also known as Red Pine, that's his art name, or pen name. 

You can watch the movie if that's your speed, link below. I like the book myself, but I'll graze the movie some more. I've watched it some in the past. 

So it's an adventurous book. He's going out looking for Chinese hermits. In China there is a tradition of respecting hermits. I don't think we have that tradition in the USA, to my knowledge. Anyway, he goes from place to place asking about hermits, until he finds some, presumably. Don't want to give anything away, the book builds the tension about finding some of these guys. 

The hermit tradition goes way back, and some early dynastic choices involved hermits, so the culture historically respects hermits. Hermits were sometimes shamans. Hermits were sometimes Taoist. I took a class on Taoism in college, and I read their basic texts. I didn't know that it originally about the waning and the waxing of the moon. I'm tempted to dig out my classic texts. I feel the idea of proportion, yin and yang, effortlessness, and being natural are very appealing to me. That's not all that Taoism is about but that's a big part of it.  

Visiting Taoist temples, Porter said they were organized like Buddhist temples. Supposedly there is Chʻüan-chen Taoism and Cheng Yi Taoism, which is more a lay practice. I learned about Taoism and Chinese culture, how the monasteries fared through the cultural revolution and changes in politics of China.

One of the things I don't like about reading the 1993 book is that it seems like all the terms have changed. Maybe he just simplifies Chʻüan-chen to Chuan Chen.

Links:

Eight Immortals of Taoism.

He Xiangu, the one female in 8 Immortals

Interview of Porter (YouTube)

Post Magazine profile:

video Amongst The White Clouds

video Chinese Monks (seems to be a different documentary)

book review quote: Porter describes a farmer grinding green rind off of walnuts, the steep and slippery green rocky ascents to hermit hideaways, misadventures with suspicious police. We share a meal of corn gruel and potatoes here or a bowl of noodles and a pot of tea there. One old hermit tells Porter about his few planted vegetables, of gathering wild plants, of coming down once every couple of years. Why do you live there? asks the author. "For the quiet," comes the answer. "Zen monks like quiet."

There's information in Tricycle "Porter, moreover, seems too enamored of his hermits to challenge them with the kind of difficult question that can elicit unusually penetrative responses. One wishes that he’d asked them whether, by entering a hermitage, they hadn’t lost as well as gained-for instance, the friction as well as the fellowship occasioned by others and seemingly so essential to self-knowledge."

And Lion's Roar. 

Ancient Ginkgo tree like Lao Tzu's?

Lao Tzu is spelled Laozi now.

Equanimity and being a soccer fan

If you live in NYC, it's time to hop on the bandwagon. Our team is in the finals. The Mets made it to the World Series in 2015. Giants won in 2012, 2008. Yankees won in 2009. Jets last won in 1968. A New York team is in the finals! Being a Mets and Jets fan has been woe. 

I'm listening to Blue Balls NYCFC, a podcast about NYCFC soccer team. The team has a baby blue color. I used to watch Dudes In Blue, but they got older and one guy had children, and they retired. Podcasts and Reddit are the best sources for information about the team. I thought hockey was the red headed stepchild, soccer is below hockey, they're the 4th sport in America. Football, baseball, basketball, hockey are ahead of soccer in America. The immigrants to America often appreciate soccer. My upstairs neighbor is from Poland, plays soccer in the park, and likes the Premier League, how hard they always play. I asked him if he was going to watch the game today? He hadn't planned to but maybe I talked him into it. He had gone to some games the first year they began. 

My son got into soccer, and so I started watching soccer. As an American, I never really watched soccer. I played some when I was in elementary school. I always thought the soccer players were cool in high school. I guess I caught a few World Cup games along the way. When MLS started in 1996, I didn't really notice. So I started watching Barcelona. I read a bunch of books. How Soccer Explains The World is a good one, and Fear and Loathing in La Liga is another classic. Fever Pitch is the memoir of a someone obsessed. Watching Barcelona is choosing to see the best. Messi is a god. It was so weird for him to go to PSG.

I like to write about sports. Soccer doesn't get much writeup in the NY Times. NYCFC won the Eastern Conference finals and there's no article in the Times. There was a pathetic response about how they only have 20 staff writers. Yea, OK, you couldn't peel one off baseball, not playing right now, Football, admittedly the most popular sport in America, basketball and hockey? Tennis? Golf? NYCFC is going to the MLS Cup and there's an article today about French soccer. They make me go to that horrible rag the New York Post: The rabbid attack dog of wrong right wing thinking. Newsday and Daily News you need a subscription. Athletic you need a subscription. The Outfield is about NYCFC, because we play in Yankee stadium. Like my taste in jazz and other things, I enjoy the amazing sport in an under appreciating America. 

So the first years, NYCFC bought some high priced superstars: David Villa, Frank Lampard, and Andrea Pirlo. Lampard was injured, and Pirlo hid behind the wall and post, so they were a bust, but David Villa played pretty well. I wanted to get away from a superstar model, I wanted to move towards young players instead of fading stars. I can't help but think of the New York Knicks first twenty years of the century. They had all manor of major superstars who were fading and didn't have it any more.

Until this year, NYCFC only had one playoff win in their 5 years of existence. Last year was a painful loss to Orlando. The year before was crushed by a loss to Toronto in Citi Field. This breakthrough into the MLS Cup this year is amazing. I can't fall asleep after a win. How do I keep equanimity when you care so much about the team?

I was on retreat, and someone suggested that watching sports, following sports, is a distraction. I think now that it is. Honestly my question about equanimity is a way of injecting the Dharma into my experience as a fan.

Our win in Philadelphia wasn't without it's controversy. Covid protocols took 11 players, 6 starters. The Philly coach Jim Curtin thought it was wrong to keep players home with a sniffle. Looks pretty bad to me, I mean is he a pro-spreading science denying asshole? He also brought up the oil money.

So NYCFC is owned by Manchester City in the PL, City Football Group. The "oil money" is from UAE. Of course "oil money" wouldn't be so much if America wasn't so dependent on the individual fossil fuel vehicle. It's the same kind of sentiment that doesn't all Carter's insights. It's the same kind of idea that the news can only report when prices go up, but when they go down, that's not reported. For the the oil money ownership misses the mark. They got some good players.

There was a lot of complaining about getting reinforcements for the team. Three players arrived this seasons from South America: Santiago Rodriguez, Tallus Magno and Thiago Andrade. We'd lost our GM, and Alexander Ring to Austin FC. These three guys have added quite a lot of highlights to this season.

Dome Torrent quit because he thought the GM was going to bring in his friend to coach, but the GM left. So the assistant to Pep Guardiola who had a brilliant mind, turned out to be a thin skinned quitter. He went down to Brazil and couldn't last a season with the team he was coaching. 

Ronny Deila is Norwegian. He's not a verbose communicator, he didn't have any great resume. He coached Celtic for 2 years. Unfortunately the howling for him to be fired happened whenever the team dipped. I kind of associate the eject button as a Yankee fan mentality. The Yankees lose a few games and someone comes onto WFAN and demands a trade for Mike Trout, arguably the best player. Fanaticism is a kind of infantilism. I want, I want, I want. For me the journey of equanimity is that I can use my mind and maturity to appreciate a team. You can't always win. Yankees fan channel to departed George Steinbrenner, who expected to always win. You can't always win, and it's not the fan who holds the team accountable. Go or don't go, pay attention or don't. And I guess it's OK to be a baby who always quits when they don't have immediate success. Whatever. I find the immaturity of some commenters as silly.

Deila has been the manager who took the team to the finals, so all that fire Deila can be put to rest. Pep says he wants to come to NYC after 2023. 

Tre Filmore used the word "counterfactual". I love him.  He scouted Santiago Rodriguez and was very excited when we got him. Santiago Rodriguez is a great soccer player. Fillmore says Rodriguez is a laundered tallent, but forget that.

Proud Boys also go to the soccer games. They try to ban them, but it's hard to see ideas in people's heads, and you have to actually do something that makes you banned from the game. Fascism is an ongoing fight in America, no doubt. I just don't think the fact that that problem has been engaged with defines the team.

Beckhard points out with all the teams CFG own, we do have an extensive scouting network.

Anyway, all the salt is coming out because NYCFC are in the MLS Cup on Saturday at 3pm! It's going to be a challenge to my equanimity. An enjoyable diversion. I also connect with my son, an important factor. 

Well, old timer, what's in the noodle?

This is the first time in a while that while watching something, I put my phone down so I could see every second of it.

In modern times writing is a decision tree. You can choose to read Wikipedia pages to get more information. I have linked to Wikipedia, IMDb, NY Times, Poetry Foundation.

It's common nowadays to announce that there are spoilers. I always think about how Shakespeare tells us at the beginning of Romeo and Juliet, "A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life". A story can't be spoiled if it's written well. But I have a relative I respect who doesn't like spoilers so "attention, spoilers ahead."

The Power of the Dog is an amazing movie. George Burbank is played by Jesse Plemons. I him saw most recently in I'm Thinking Of Ending Things, which was an amazing movie. Jane Campion is a towering figure in film. I recently watched Bright Star about Keats, the lovely originator of the idea of negative capability. There's a lovely interview of her in the Times written by a swell writer too, Jordan Kisner. I'd like to join these amazing people by writing about them, but I'm afraid I just see them on the big screen and in text.

An amazing movie brings all the elements together: Scenery, visual beauty, costumes, acting, writing, music. Themes of tenderness and brutality. Lots of silences. This movie is a rest from those action engorged current flavors. Instead of choppy cuts, you get to circle the characters. 

Benedict Cumberbatch has such a funny name. Perfect for a British flavor. He of course is excellent as a western hero. Plemons has a great name, it's almost like lemons, but the P has almost a flower connotation to it. I love it that the most attractive and Hollywood fit people are not in this movie, though there's some great nudity of Cumberbatch, and the muscular lads. The female gaze evens out our history of male gazes dominance. 

There's a line in the TV show Community, where Shirley asks if Annie hasn't seen even Harvey Keitel's penis, because she claims to have not seen one. It's a reference to the movie The Piano (1993) by Campion.

Kirsten Dunst's portrayal of Rose's unease, is quite palpable. When I think of her as an actress, I think of Melancholia (2011). My son likes Spiderman, and she kisses spiderman upside down too, that's a moment for her. I love reading Wikipedia, I would have never known she had two children with Plemons. Good for them, I hope they have a happy family.

"She's got you halter trained, right George, that's the main thing." Says the governor played by Keith Carradine. Wonderful casting.

Campion moves the castrating scene to the middle of the movie, instead of where the book starts out. There's a novel that came out in 1967 this movie was based on. 

Kodi Smit-McPhee is the actor who plays the son of Rose, Peter. You can feel Phil Burbank (Cumberbatch) building to a confrontation to him. Some sort of enforced masculinity trial for him? Peter doesn't want to be a rancher, he wants to be a doctor.

"Where would a man be if he always did what his mother told him?" Phil asks Peter.

Who is BH? Phil jerks to a silk scarf with that initial. Later Peter finds nudie books of male bodies that says Bronco Henry on the top. There are female nudes too. Peter comes upon Phil taking a river bath after his jerk, and he chases him off, "get out of here." Peter walks through the camp and gets called names. But Phil starts being nice to him. 

"Don't let your ma make a sissy out of you."

The confrontation might be with Rose and Phil. She's drinking, and she gives away the Phil's hides. But Peter saves her by giving the ones he's saved. Another showdown in this western doesn't materialize, things are left ambiguous. Was Bronco Henry Phil's first lover, or did he just save him by applying his naked body heat to him when the weather turned cold? Was Peter seducing Phil with smokes of his cigarette or was Phil delirious with illness. The brilliance of a masterful filmmaker is that she doesn't resolve questions. There's a real sensuality, a kind of mindfulness to the movie, and no easy maneuvers, cheap hollywood gratifications. 

The movie ends reading Psalm 22:20 "Deliver me from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dogs." (NIV)

The dogs are the gathering of our foes against us. What are these foes? Illness, old age and death are the three sights that the Buddha sees before he sees the religious mendicant and decides to go on a spiritual journey. Maybe I'm forcing a Buddhist interpretation. Because Campion is so tender, I don't want to do any interpretive violence to her movie. I think I would really like her. 

The movie ends with Peter watching his stepfather hug his mother. Indeed the whole movie people are watching others, as we are watching the movie. Phil watching Rose. George watching Rose. Everyone watches Peter. In a way, people don't want the attention they attract at times. Negative attention. 

Mumonkan, The Gateless Gate

The Gateless Gate is a Chan classic I have not yet read, so thought I would circle around and connect with it, the Blue Cliff Record, and The Book of Equanimity. I was meditating and I remembered that there were the three classics that I hadn't read that I'd wanted to read. I used to think my memory was pretty bad. I think in a way the educational system taught me that attitude towards myself because I couldn't remember things for the test. I'm not sure in the age of information that children will be taught to fill their minds up with facts, but being conversant in the subject may include that. I remember what is important. Other people might have ideas about that.

Hakuin Ekaku (above) spoke the koans of Mumonkan around 1200. It Wumen Huikai, who compiled the koans and commented on them?

The translation and commentary and translation I'm reading is by Katsuki Sekida. Katsuki Sekida 'was by profession a high school teacher of English until his retirement in 1945. Zen, nevertheless, was his lifelong preoccupation. He began his Zen practice in 1915 and trained at Empuku-ji in Kyoto and Ryutaki-ji in Mishima, Shizuoka Prefecture. He taught at the Honolulu Zendo and Maui Zendo from 1963 to 1970 and at the London Zen Society from 1970 to 1972." (Shambhala)

Reading this has been fun so far. Do I have to confine myself to just the Buddhavacana? No, of course not. It's like reading interesting developments in Buddhism, I love all of Buddhism. And Chinese culture. Chan originated in China. 

The koan tradition is about transcending duality. And it's also about developing your own ideas and insight. It's a way of trying to bring insight into the moment. I could write my own commentary on the commentary. 

I was relieved, I was concerned about reading this without a teacher, but the preface laid that worry to rest. It's quite possible I'm going to get something out of it, though of course it was would be hard to predict. Transcending dualism is impossible, and you can't say much about the transcendental. 

There's violence, smacking people and chopping off fingers. The translator doesn't know if it's true or not. It's no surprise with this violent language, literal or not, that the Zen monks of Japan participated in supporting the military of Japan during WW2. The Samurai culture is a blending of warrior and Buddhism, which is really odd to me. Gautama was born into the warrior cast, but he did not wish to rule. It's a pretty macho meditation culture, challenging each other verbally to transcend duality. 

People are referred to, and they lead lineages. That kind of bolsters their standing. Sekida says one person never surpassed his teacher. How you can know that kind of stuff about people written about 900 years ago, almost a millennium ago is questionable.

People wake up, get enlightened, like in the Pali Canon. Someone says something and that unlocks something and most likely is built upon a quit solid foundation of intense meditation. Does it cheapen it by having it happen all the time without mentioning all the groundwork?

I don't like the Zen style of cryptic answering sometimes, but in the controlled format of a book it's palatable. There's a kind of reverence to these teachers that I find somehow inspiring. 

I liked this little poem:

Not falling, not ignoring:
Two faces of one die.
Not ignoring, not falling:
A thousand errors, a million mistakes.

I'm a mistake making machine.

Here are some links:

All 48 Koans With Commentaries

Known English commentaries to Wu-Men Kuan koans

Jiang Wu interviews Red Pine (Bill Porter) Bill Porter traveled in China to the sources of Chan Buddhism.

Encountering the Gateless Gate "...all your mental effort inevitably proves fruitless before this enigmatic and impenetrable barrier."

Case 39 Roshi Geoffrey Shugen Arnold

Favorite books

The first books I read on Buddhism were helpful, but the first book I read while meditating and joining a sangha was the Dhammapada. It has an intensity that hits me today, and inspires me. I reread it all the time. Harder is to put the practices into place. Therefore the book has depth. 

Another book that I greatly enjoy is The Life of the Buddha by Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli Thera. It sketches the life of the Buddha through the Pali Canon sources. I never stop reading this book either. You can even follow it on instagram.

As my reading style has changed, I read for shorter periods, working to be mindful of the text for shorter periods of time, instead of gorging and ingesting as much as possible. I have as good as an overview as I'm going to get, so I don't have to rush any more. I've read quite a lot, but the literature is vast, sometimes compared to an ocean of Dharma. Choose your own style, closer readings, or fast and vast, or a mixture of both, as the situation calls for. 

I also am not as superficially intoxicated by the teachings as I used to be. The Dharma isn't that exciting because it's hard to practice, and that's what it's all about. Being a good mindful kind person is more important than knowing the teachings. I'm not. sure if I'm going to be able to become a straight up Madhyamika person. I used to think I was interested in philosophy. What I have learned wasn't anything concrete, the content in the history of philosophy. I'm also interested in psychology, but that interest too has waned. 

Another book I never stop reading is 100,000 Songs of Milarepa. I identify with overcoming past mistakes, and his crazy wisdom, but he was a dedicated practitioner, intense and articulate. He practiced in the mountains of Tibet, and the various forms of Tibetan Buddhism are quite attractive to me. 

Rapacious China gobbled Tibet up in 1959, and there are people alive who still remember a free Tibet. I don't want to overly romanticize that Tibet, but I don't think the Chinese have improved it. Who knows, I've only been there in books. Going from a theocracy to a authoritarian communist form of government might be an evolution of sorts, but I don't think China practices communism the right way. Their squashing of dissent and the press is particularly repugnant to me. I think China should withdraw and let the Tibetans run their own country. What they are doing in Hong Kong now is terrible. I think Biden should boycott the Olympics, though it would devastate some athletes. The games are not meant to be political but it's impossible not to be. 

Then I have my root guru Sangharakshita. His modern updating of Buddhism is unparalleled, and he was a victorian almost. His Survey of Buddhism came out in 1947! The year my mother was born. I would recommend The Essential Sangharakshita for beginners.

I did not know until I read Reddit, but some people think Sangharakshita's modernization of Buddhism isn't as great as I think it is. I'm not sure what to do with that. I have lost touch with the sangha, too, so there is a curious estrangement going on around that. But I will forever be grateful to the Triratna Sangha and hope to go on a retreat at Aryaloka soon. 

When I think of the last great book I read, it was The Circle of the Way: A Concise History of Zen from the Buddha to the Modern World by Barbara O'Brien. I realized that there are some great classics in that tradition that I have not read yet. I was thinking this morning I should approach some of them.

The next person I think of is Ratnaguna. I really liked his book on the Pure Land sutras called Great Faith, Great Wisdom. You can listen to readings of the Pure Land sutras online. They are so beautiful. 

Another of Ratnaguna books is On Reflection. Thinking about Buddhism is a practice. Who figured. Supposedly the monks would get together every full moon and discuss the Dharma, confess, chant, and generally hang out. The Sutra of Golden Light discusses confession. I love that idea. You can also reflect when you're alone. Since I'm listing Mahayana texts, The Vimalakirti Nirdesa is good too.

Sangharakshita read the Diamond Sutra when he was 16 and realized he was a Buddhist. This is also something I read. Indeed, I reread the Pali Canon too. Indeed you can read The Eternal Legacy or similar works that summarize the literature of Buddhism if you want something better than a blog post.

I like all the best selling authors. I'm not going to list them. Honestly, I read everything with a Dharma eye now. I try to study in depth and recently I read every book on the Brahma Viharas I could get my hands on. Boundless Heart (2017) by Christina Feldman was the best among those. Here is a quote from that book:

"The Buddha said it is not the right time to undertake samatha practice if you have a lot of things in the world demanding your attention. If you’re heavily in debt, or have family or relationship obligations that require attention, or if your body is ill and you are hav­ing to care for it. If there are multiple unresolved issues in your life that are going to be continu­ally demanding your attention, then the condi­tions for samatha practice are not ripe. It is said that in order to begin the deep dimension of samatha practice, it is important that the mind must be fairly happy, it should be easy to collect itself, that it’s not kind of stirred with things that are causing a lot of anxiety or concern."

Also: "A world of distress is born of the ongoing argument we have with the unarguable."

David Loy's Nonduality was an important work. I like him in general.

I was on retreat once, and really loved the Therigatha. Now that is one straight up amazing book coming through the mist of time with women's voices. They were very inspiring. 

There are a lot of great political books. There are a lot of political issues, and I think it's OK for a Buddhist to be "political". For instance the Dalit movement in India, rekindling Buddhism amongst the "untouchables" is quite amazing. The book on putting people of Japanese heritage inland in like concentration camps during WW2 has a great book about it, American Sutra.

I've enjoyed Stephen Batchelor's books. Living With The Devil is my favorite. Traditional Buddhist's don't like Buddhism Without Belief. Certain books were there for me at a certain time. Charlotte "Joko" Beck's books helped me to really commit to meditating. Lama Surya Das' book helped me just before I started, and I liked his book about the 7 paramitas. Jack Kornfield's books are still read by me. Ayya Khema is another female author. The Making of Buddhist Modernism by David L. McMahan points to a fascinating change in Buddhism as it encounters the western skeptical mind.

I have really enjoyed reading Ajahn Chan and listening to the biographies about Ajahn Mun Bhuridatta and Mae Chee Kaew by Bhikkhu Dick Silaratano.

There are other books. Zen Mind, Beginner Mind. The best writing of a year also are good collections. I'm going to be updating this post, so this isn't the final draft.