I've never heard of Jill Shepherd before, but somehow I got hipped to this podcast. I particularly liked the idea that pain is like velcro and pleasure is like teflon.
I've noticed that after about 10 minutes my mind settles, and there is a spaciousness. In the mindfulness of breathing, as I settle into my body, I listen for the rapture and bliss of stage 5 and 6 of anapanasati. My hope is to get better at hearing/feeling these subtle feelings. There is a kind of opening up of the positive side.
Shepherd talks about surprise at opening up to the positive side of meditation because of people's questions when she became a teacher, and how she was prone to focusing on the ascetic aspects, but that it was the Buddha abandoning the ascetic path that allowed him to have his memory of Dhyana.
Links
She's not to be confused with 2007 Miss Utah.
I'm reading Sigrid Nunez's The Friend and she's describing a woman she knew who was a good writer, but took a meditation retreat, and lost her interest in writing fiction for others. Never heard of that, but
I'm a Buddhist who loves mythology, anthropology, Jungian archetypes, non-Jungian archetypes, and all kinds of thinking, not just emotional or rational.
Wikipedia Is German about the collective female spirit Dis, and for Anglo-Saxons it's Mōdraniht.
 |
| The Dises by Dorothy Hardy |
For the Celts they had Des Matrona
For Anglo-Saxons it's Mōdraniht, or Mother Night. For the Romans it was Saturnalia.
The tradition is Dongzhi in China and throughout Asia. There is a connection to yin and yang.
Makar Sankranti in Hindu India, which is January 14/15.
Yaldā Night in Iran, where they can read Hafez, the height of Persian literature, late into the night.
I sit and Look Out by Walt Whitman
I sit and look out upon all the sorrows of the world, and upon all oppression and shame
I hear secret convulsive sobs from young men at anguish with themselves, remorseful after deeds done,
I see in low life the mother misused by her children, dying, neglected, gaunt, desperate
I see the wife misused by her husband, I see the treacherous seducer of young women
I mark the ranklings of jealousy and unrequited love attempted to be hid, I see these sights on the earth
I see the workings of battle, pestilence, tyranny, I see martyrs and prisoners,
I observe a famine at sea, I observe the sailors casting lots who shall be kill’d to preserve the lives of the rest
I observe the slights and degradations cast by arrogant persons upon laborers, the poor, and upon negroes and the like;
All these-all the meanness and agony without end I sitting looking out upon,
See, hear, and am silent.
We make up the world with our minds. Syncretism is the one true religion. We weave together a bunch of traditions that we experienced. I grew up in a Christian tradition. I pulled a Christmas tree down on me as a toddler. I remember the joy and wonder of an electric train set.
On one level it's a celebration to stave off the depression of winter solstice. Saturnalia, and our pagan roots were co-opted by Christianity.
Winter equinox is different for every location on this earth. We choose time zones so we can find a common time. With 5 time zones, we choose it as a country to focus on the 25th of December. Also there are north and south issues, Florida is sub-tropical and inland north, you can get quite brutal winter conditions. Where you are is important. I spent an Xmas with a friend and his family in England when I did my year abroad and I'm forever grateful to him for inviting me. Very kind.
Then I guessed that Santa Clause didn't exist. The disappointment in my grandmother's face. The loss of innocence.
I was a jerk about a present I didn't like from my uncle. He was nice enough to think of me, and I wasn't mature about it.
Then there is the turn, watching others and thinking of others. Turning towards generosity. I struggled with that and gave my first wife crappy presents.
One time at the at the institute for psychotherapy the teacher asked if anyone didn't like the holiday season. Nobody raised their hands, so I raised my hand to just say something. I disliked the obligatoriness of gift giving. The teacher said I was selfish. Merry christmas to him, my present to him was to give him that smugness.
In 2002 I shifted from atheist to Buddhist. Bodhi Day celebrates the Buddha enlightenment on December 8th. I read the Dharma, meditate, try to teach my daughter about Buddhism, and congregate with sangha when not in a pandemic. I suppose I try to keep that going.
Another tradition is making merry and feasting. I'm an alcoholic and a drug abuser, so I can no longer imbibe in alcohol or marijuana. That's another loss of innocence, of sorts. I was not up to facing life sober, and it caused a lot of trouble. I have mental health issues, depression. Alcohol doesn't help that either but it seemed to get me through challenging times. There's a part of me that still misses the ability to numb myself during the holidays, even though I know that is forbidden to me now.
The lack of sun triggers a kind of seasonal affective disorder. Celebrating during the winter solstice is hypomanic response to this challenge. Let's make merry in a sober way. Kiss the joys as they pass by.
My 4 year old daughter's mother wants her to know she's buying the presents, not Santa Clause.
Because negative reinforcement isn't the best, Krampusnacht isn't emphasized. I told my daughter since she's a good girl, Krampus didn't come get her.
We had elf on a shelf for my sons, not sure what they got out of that.
I kind of worry about my daughter's greed, but it's fairly innocent. I look forward to watching her open all her presents.
My stepfather is a secular Jew, so we also had a menorah. The festival of lights. I live on the edge of a Jewish neighborhood in NYC. So we are not just in a Christian atmosphere, there are other Abrahamic religions. Muslims are about. I forget the number I saw, but there are many religious festivals around this time and my awareness of that leads me to say "happy holidays".
As a Buddhist, we have a tree, and will be giving my daughter presents. It's a special time of the year.
I was watching Community, where Abed's mother can't meet with him, and he must find a new meaning of Christmas. Every year I find a meaning of Buddhamas. These are my thoughts this year.
I have lots of great memories, and for that I am truly grateful. I've led a lucky life. A pivotal movie is It's A Wonderful Life. Would the world be a better place without you? Of course not. Sometimes the dark undertow can threaten to sweep me out into depressive waters, but in my heart I know I am worthwhile, and I provide goodness into the world. We have a negativity bias, because that helps us to survive, but in the end I am a net good person.
I am very grateful for so many things, but during the holiday season it's for family. I love my family. Just like winter solstice, the point at which you experience it is different for everyone, so to, the point in a family is different for everyone. From the youngest to the oldest, in those near and those far. Family isn't just blood relatives, it's also friends.
I'll kiss the delights as they pass by this year.
May everyone be happy, may everyone be well.
The day before Bodhi Day, I meditated metta (universal lovingkindness). I realized (again and again and again) the hard one was neutral. I spin off quite easily. But recently I'd seen that a 16 year old never went to online class without his infant sibling on their lap. I thought of all the teenagers who the weight of responsibility has shifted to, because of the circumstances of Covid.
For me, the enemy is usually my shadow, the pervert, liar, power mode instead of love mode, exploiter, insensitive, unempathetic, stupid. I hate in others traits that I have in myself. I wrote a friend who I'd complains and complained about Trump, how I was like him.
Life happened slower with the Buddha. There were fewer screens. He had very different circumstances. But we can do what he did. We can meditate to gain insight into our own suffering and work to transcend the normal.
The Buddha became enlightened. December 8th we celebrate that. May all being be happy may all being be well.
I listened to a talk by Bob Thurman on abuses, and thought it was a really good talk.
Links:
NPR with Takashi Miyaji: Miyaji is a Shin Buddhist Professor. They have a special service in Shin Buddhism, where they chant. He chants on the 6 minute interview.
Tonight the Krampus roams about punishing naughty children.
My daughter reports Krampus didn't visit her. She's a good girl.
1. I read this book in the 80's for a comparative literature class, and didn't pick up on the Buddhism. At that time I was years away from trying meditation and reading Zen stuff and scratching my head. Unmemorable essays mean I didn't completely engage my meaning systems.
I'm reading it again and surprised to find Buddhism in the mix in the meditations on liberty. It's not clear what ideas Kazantzakis has about Buddhism. His writing a life of the Buddha is seen as intellectual. Zorba is someone who seems fairly spontaneous and in the moment, seems to try and squeeze all the joys out of life, but he shoots for the middle, not the top or the bottom. The narrator stays up all night writing an essay about Buddhism but doesn't mention it thereafter. Zorba thinks he's too much in his head, but he has interesting art memories, enjoys literature, and likes to think. The novel sets up a duality between learned, and spontaneous, meditating on liberty and freedom, with a side of Buddhism.
I don't believe you really engage with Buddhism unless you meditate. For Kazantzakis, it's unclear the source of his knowledge. He engages at the sort of pop level, the intellectual level, but he's a deep thinker. At least he's thinking about it.
He tries to be celibate, but without the benefit of meditative states. He's OK during the day, but at night he hungers for companionship. He often leans on his friendship for entertainment, but sometimes Zorba doesn't want to entertain him, play music for him.
From his wikipedia page: "As he traveled Europe, he was influenced by various philosophers, cultures, and religions, like Buddhism, causing him to question his Christian beliefs." (cite)
2. There was an interesting exchange on Reddit that got deleted. Someone quoted what Zorba said about a Russian guy who expressed himself through dance. The women resisted being raped, but then gave into it with pleasure. Surely that's not woke enough for today's people. But the person was pointing out that perhaps the writer wasn't condoning what Zorba was saying. One little sentence is an amazing book, and a youth feel entitled to cancel the book. Of course rape culture is terrible and assumes perhaps that women even want it, but he's saying that's what a Russian guy said through dance, and Zorba, a character in a novel was reporting it. Since it was reported in a dance, it's probably not very accurate communication and probably Zorba was projecting. I have no desire to defend Zorba, he's not really a hero of mine. But it's an interesting and complex novel. Zorba does have offensive ideas about women. It's part of the character study. Do you want him to get some comeuppance in the novel to show that the writer has a sense of justice? I guess I wouldn't mind, but then it stops being Dionysian and becomes Apollonian. I don't imagine I'll get my ideas about woman from Zorba. The larger point of Zorba is that men are alienated from their bodies. And who's to say if you aren't alienated from your body that you can't communicate through dance. The narrator sees Zorba as a relic of the past, that is not apt for modern times (published 1946, it will be even more so for our current times.) But he also admires his spontaneity, the easy joy he has, unfettered by anxiety or qualms.
3. Zorba is a sexist git. He has rape fantasies, and he thinks he's god's gift to women. He preys on lonely widows. He is not to be read during since we have had the #metoo era. He is an obsolete kind of hero.
4. Zorba is very tender towards women. He tells the story of his grandmother. The local guys would come and serenade the beautiful young woman across the street, and she thought it was for her. Zorba relieved her of this dream, and apparently she went downhill and died very quickly after that. She said he killed her. I think of that line from Sheryl Crow song, "lie to me, I promise to believe."
5. Zorba is the Buddha because he has beginners mind. He looks at narcissi as though for the first time. He considers wine as though for the first time. He is integrated with his body and can communicate still through dance. He can smell a book waffler a mile away. He gets absorbed in his activities, to the exclusion of all else. The concentration is seen as similar to the Buddha.
6. He thinks everything is alive. That's an animist. I kind of like that because it would naturally lead to environmentalism, IMHO.
7. He says if you look at water with a magnifying glass, you'll see all the worms in it. He sees the narrator as dying of thirst because of intellectualism. He's cultured, he reads, writes, and went to museums all over Europe.
8. Page 182 he mentions meditation but it seems to be thinking about a book he's reading. But the book came out in 1946, and I am sure it was revolutionary in it's way of considering Buddhism, as flawed and minimal as it is.
9. Zorba talks about starting Zeus Marriage Agency. He would pay guys to go sleep with the undesirable women. He says if he can't find anyone, he will go himself. That got me thinking about the 37 vows of a Bodhisattva. There's a suggestion that a Bodhisattva would sleep with ugly women to make them happy.
10. This book reminds me of the bawdy novel Thom Jones. It's a rollicking, make the most of life type novel. People who live close to the edge. I could see the Beats liking the novel.
11. I don't really agree with Zorba's ideas about manhood, I've never really felt any pull of concepts of gender. My male role models couldn't fix their cars. I know women in my past wished I was more protective, or took more financial responsibility. Every time I've played the lusty fellow is wasn't so much appreciated.
I have worked with the transgender, and felt deep sorrow at their plights and persecution. The murder rates are high, the early death rates are high. Once a year they read all the names of the people who have died at City Hall in NYC. The list feels too long.
I myself could never imagine trying to mutilate my body to be like a different gender. Even though I'm not a stereotypical man I have no desire to switch to be a woman. To me if feels like I need to adjust to being in the body of a man. When I was young the call to adventure made me brave, and that was perhaps manly. In middle age, I became caring and supportive. I can see how modern times expects you to be relational all the time instead of competitive and individualistic, and that it would be an advantage to be a woman now. I wish my body was desirable and could give pleasure the way a woman's body does. The tragedy of male sexuality is something I could do without. I never wished to somehow switch genders, though I am quite accepting of my "female" side. I feel sorry for a transgender person who wants to be recognized as the opposite gender they were born with. Their performance is sad at best, convincing at worst.
The anti-transgender perspective (TERF) don't want to be kind. The chief complaint as far as I can tell is the aggressive sexuality of the Male to Females, who they feel invade their female sex spaces. Sex as opposed to gender is not something they claim can be changed. Men as women still have aggressive sexuality, and the demand to be wanted is not appreciated. Don't enter female space with male aggression dressed as a woman. The MtF Transwomen feel unjustly excluded, what more can they do? Feels like an intractable conflict.
I used to focus more on the tragedy of being transgender, but some focus on the aggressiveness of being told they have to want them. They reject that. I didn't really like the aggression of being told I wanted them. They can be attractive, I don't begrudge them that, but I was not attracted to them in general. I'm attracted to people not gender, and the obsession of gender performance is the opposite of what I want: Gender irrelevance. I don't like men who embrace masculinity or women who embrace femininity. I like the new indeterminate character on Star Trek. But I get it that transgender want to cleave towards the opposite of what they are born. To me it feels more ideological than real, and I'm sure that's a barrier in my empathy. There are so many ways in which we have to adapt to the world. I suppose it's a marvel of modern technology that we don't have to do that with gender.
Women as men are not as offensive. Go ahead and be that way if you want to. Chop off the meaty fun bags, take the hormone. Pump some iron. You're not going to have a functioning penis, which is of dubious use anyway. Lesbians are better at making women come than men are. Anyway, strapons exist. You've gone the wrong way in the zeitgeist. We need to be more empathetic and relational. Manhood is obsolete. I'm not saying we don't need support or that we can't feel male pride. We just don't need super macho hunters, and super macho men seem tragic nowadays. Zorba seems an exaggeration now, a way of being that time has passed. He does not deny his desires, and seems to live life to fullest, I like that. There is a sort of integration and beginners mind. But in terms of gender performance, he's obsolete. I know there are women who wants that, want men more macho, don't agree with their taming. Mostly they can't function in our society, which is just a small fraction of why it's so hard to function in our current society. I guess an update on Zorba would be to confront a transgender male to female, and even a female to male. What would Zorba make of that? It would probably jam his pagan mind.
12. When I was a therapist, I believed in people's experience. If you tell me a ghost picked you up in the street, then I believed that is your experience. I don't contradict people and say ghosts don't exist. That would make things worse. If someone says they're in the wrong sex body, then I believed that was the best description of what someone was experiencing. My above meditation is not to void transgender experience, it's to express my experience. People can't blot out other people with their experience, because everyone's experience is valid as their experience. My heart goes out to the transgender.
13. Shaking off Christianity's prudery is a goal of some Buddhists, to work to integrate it beyond Christian judgements, and eventually rise above it. The pagan Zorba may in some way point to some of the working out of it. Zorba's integration with his body is perhaps to be admired. He can communicate by dance, how many people can say that, even if it's self reported?
14. In the end, I'm sure in 1946 it was a very Buddhist literature book, but today in 2020 it's not very insightful into Buddhism. The world has quite evolved in terms of the western appreciation of Buddhism. The western appreciation is skewed away from magic and miracles, perfect knowledge and Christian terminology, skewed towards meditation, even as more Buddhists are Pure Land and chant instead of meditation. Chanting is meditative. I know it is for me when I do it. But they are Buddhists and they don't dominate the Reddits because they're more other powered and most vocal Buddhists are fleeing from the blind faith of Christianity. Zorba understands with more than his head, which is all the narrator can understand Buddhism as he tries to write about it.
15. He does pick out beginner's mind perhaps before that was a term. Zorba has a kind of integration, aliveness, and energy. And I do quite enjoy the friendship in the novel.
16. It's terrible they cut off the head of the widow. That it's not really explained makes it more troublesome. I worry over it. They killed her because she slept with the boss? That is terrible. They owned her sexuality? I guess it's to emphasize the horribleness of a small village on Crete. Their brutality. Then Bouboulina dies, and they ransack her home before she is even cold. Quite terrible. The fantasy of Americans is that Europe is more civilized, but of course A Portrait of a Lady puts that to bed. The novel is filled with Cretan customs and ways of being.
17. "I felt deep within me that the highest point man can attain is not Knowledge, or Virtue, or Goodness, or Victory, but something even greater, more heroic and more despairing: Sacred Awe!" (p.269)
18. Women get more pleasure from giving pleasure to men, than the pleasure she gets from men? Zorba says that. I don't know about that. That sounds more like a male fantasy. And everyone, male or female get pleasure from other's pleasure.
19. Quite a touching friendship.
The Fallen Woman is about a courtesan (Violetta) who is sick with consumption. The opera is by Verdi and it's on the Met for free today until 630pm EST.
One of the things I'm grateful for is the free streaming of the Met during this pandemic. I'll be forever grateful to them. I get overwhelmed by opera and have to take breaks, but I keep coming back to it, because they're still streaming it for free every day. Yesterday was Rusalka, which I loved!
It occurred to me that Alfredo is making merit by supporting Violetta in her dying days. We're all going to die, whether it's from consumption or whatever. She starts out by wanting to party, but then she finds love. The father doesn't like the match, but in the end he is sorry. The music gets me.
Alfredo's father comes to tell Violetta that his daughter can't get married if his family is known to associate with a courtesan. She agrees to break it off. They sing at each other the hope that they are happy, in parting.
Reaching for higher things is the ultimate spiritual development. Rejecting hedonism, while perhaps still kissing the joys as they pass by. It's about impermanence. That's such a Buddhist cliche but it's true, cliches are the ketchup of truth, the Jim Belushi of Truth, according to Jeffery Winger in Community.
The ballet interlude is amazing.
So Violetta ends it with Alfredo, and they see each other at a party. She's on the arm of some old fossil, who forbids her to speak to him, but they do and sparks fly, they still love each other. He throws money at her, and his father comes out and says he has disgraced himself.
I can't help but fall in love with Damrau. Diana Damrau, Juan Diego Flórez, and Quinn Kelsey are the stars, and it is conducted by Yannick Nézet-Séguin. (From December 15, 2018)
Visuddhimagga Study Group Podcast
The Buddha and his natural environment in Thai manuscript art
I read a prequel and watched Picard. I find the Qowat Milat fascinating. It is an all female monastic order. They are dedicated to open communication, which is the opposite of the Romulan society, which is secretive. So in a way, they are perhaps an example of an aspect of right communication, in not being secretive. They are the keepers of a secret.
They had a fascinating ritual where they looked at something, the secret knowledge, and it led some of them to commit suicide, and one to go crazy. But one didn't die, and she carries out the mission.
I think sometimes if you look at all the suffering in the world it might lead to suicide. It's hard to maintain equanimity. I guess that should give me sympathy for people who obviously don't want to see things, the obvious example is Trump with Covid. Death is another notorious secret we can't hold.
Theradithi's drawing
Love these YouTube monk talks. This one is "How To Sustain Your Mindfulness". Going to listen to one every full moon. I'm copying monks, cut hair on moon day, talk Dharma and confess (with myself if I can't find a friend).
I like this blog by Dhivan Jones.
I'm upset this morning, I thought I would wake up to good news. It has reminded me to turn inward and control the things that I can control. Be the change I want to see.
I liked this answer in r/Buddhism to the question of whether it's possible to be omnipotent:
"...if I have omnipotence, I would snap and everyone attains to nibbana immediately. Snap, even hell beings are liberated, and instantly goes to heaven and attained to arahanthood, awaiting the final death. Snap, includes all beings from lower realms to have the same effect, snap, all beings in all realms, in all multiverses become enlightened, no more need for Buddhas to appear. Snap, why stop at arahant? Everyone become fully enlightened Buddha. Why if there's a God, had he not done all these just by having the power of omnipotence and knowledge of Buddhism?" by u/DiamondNgXZ
I was going there to say it doesn't matter, irrelevant about whether you're mindful or kind. I hadn't thought of that answer.
Posts
All Comments
