Solitude and Loneliness: A Buddhist View by Sarvananda

Solitude and Loneliness: A Buddhist View by Sarvananda quotes a lot of other writers:

Poem by Hafiz

Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly.
let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you as few human or even divine ingredients can.

"Tenzin Palmo comments: Genuine renunciation is giving up our fond thoughts, all our delight in memories, hopes and daydreams, our mental chatter. To renounce that, and stay naked in the present, that is renunciation"

Sarvananda is quotable too:

"On a solitary retreat, you should first attempt to become acquainted with the restorative angel, the spirit who reintroduces you to a sense of harmony, calm, and connectedness. But, when you’re ready, you might ask this angel to introduce you to the destructive angel, her more daunting and challenging sister, who will ask you to address both your fear and the entrenched habit that keeps that fear in place."

I worked on that this morning. At first I thought of Amoghasiddhi. There's a really cool mantra that my friends used to chant with a chorus, and I can chant that to channel fearlessness. Then I thought of when I was a kid and I'd ride my bike to a place where I could buy comics. I used to like Spiderman and The Hulk. Hulk smash meditation fears.

Sarvananda talks about the fears of meditating alone sometimes. The worst time I had was when I continued to meditate with the 6 elements after a retreat, but not on retreat, and back in my worldly life I felt like I was falling apart. Then someone told me that is perhaps a meditation to do only in a very supportive environment like retreat, and I guess my worldly life wasn't supportive enough.

The last thing I thought of was all my male ancestors over my right shoulder, all my female ancestors over my left shoulder. That also gives me comfort.

I think that's a great thing people should do before meditating, figure out what to think about if they start to feel really uncomfortable. Of course stay with what you can to the best of your ability but also trust your judgement when you need to reinforce yourself.

"As Buddhists, we are attempting to stop defining ourselves so rigidly with regard to the objects of our awareness, attempting to break through the constricting and isolating shell of ego that we build up through such rigid identification."

I was pleased to see someone in the TBC not following Sangharakshita's lead and dismissing Thoreau.

If I could go on a solitary retreat, I would love it right now. I need to hire someone to watch my daughter. I don't have buyer's remorse for my choices to procreate. I love my 4 year old. But of course as a human, I want more than I can get. She tried to meditate with me the other day, and while she can't really sit there with her eyes closed and follow her breath, she gave it a try and for that I am really happy.

The one solitary retreat I went on for a week was really amazing, though so upset to have to go home, I decided I would never get enlightened because of the life I have chosen. I think that was a pretty dire assessment, and instead I push on with hope.