Chogyam Trungpa

“Sometimes, the world becomes a nuisance, and the path of meditation becomes more of a nuisance as well. The whole journey is just driving us crazy — such a nuisance, such a problem. That’s where the need for bravery comes in. If we can be brave, we will be able to see how phenomena work. That is to say, we will really see how phenomena work, rather than having an intellectual or case-history of understanding phenomena. We will see how phenomena work, how the world works, how things operate in our lives. At that point, experience becomes very penetrating.”



Usually I don't like to relink what's out there, but this above quote really struck me. It's from Shambhala SunSpace.

I have read Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, so that's the only book I can truly recommend. I do want to get others. I have read a bit of his wife's memior which is really interesting.



I want to read Fabrice Midal's memior too.

Stephan A. Hoeller

"Art is bestowed not by prosaic rectitude, but by the freedom of intuition, a function not bound by earthly rules." Stephan A. Hoeller



Reading Stephan A. Hoeller on Hermes,I was struck by how interesting ancient Greek mythology is. I was looking up Smaragdine Tablet, because Sangharakshita mentioned it in the Survey, and that led me to the Wikipedia entry on it, also known as the Emerald Tablet. That led me to Hoeller's essay. Fascinating stuff.

The ideal student

From the Survey (9th edition, 2001), p.40:

The ideal student of Buddhism would be one who, whether scientifically trained or not, was prepared to admit the possibility of a spiritual experience which would transcend the psychical senses and rational mind, and who would be willing to give unprejudiced consideration to the Buddha's claim that he had achieved this experience himself and that by following his teaching others might achieve it for themselves too.

Ratnasambhava mantra on YouTube

Also I have a new essay on Wildmind on an excellent book. A book I had to read 3 times to review, Sangharakshita's book on Milarepa. And when I say "I", I use that loosely. Bodhi is a great editor, he really deserves the credit for it's readability and clarity in many ways.

being grounded

A friend commented to me that he felt I wasn't grounded. I took his comment seriously. So how do you ground yourself?

My initial answer is through spiritual friendships, meditation and time out to reconnect with myself. Retreat would be good.

Link to rupas at met

Here's a link to my photos on Facebook, looking at the Rupas at the Met.

Also saw the Picasso exhibit.

Ushnishavijaya

Ushnishavijaya
Originally uploaded by terren in Virginia

I love learning about new Bodhisattvas, apparently this is a manifestation of Tara.

Guhyaloka

Vajramati has been away and we miss him. He's sent these photos.

Guhyaloka

Guhyaloka

Guhyaloka

Guhyaloka

Guhyaloka work retreat

Guhyaloka work retreat

Nov 20 2008_0052.JPG

Nov 20 2008_0052.JPG
Originally uploaded by everydaybalance

Bante quote

From The Yogi's Joy p.170:

One's personality is not set in stone. It may seem as though there is nothing you can do about who you are, but if the Dharma is about anything it is about our inherent capacity to change our inherent conditioning.

talk by Subhuti

why

Our monthly mitra meeting, we have been telling life stories. (You can check out the "why I am a Buddhist" stories on the LBC talks page.)

Telling my story was a powerful activity for me, and I could see that others felt closer to me, grateful that I shared it with them. I was grateful to hear other's stories and felt I was closer to them. It's been a very powerful sangha building activity.

I recorded mine, and played it to some friends. One friend suggested I listen to a Ted Talk, about the importance of why. I found the talk on YouTube. It's by Simon Sinek, who I must admit I know nothing about, except what I see in this Ted Talk.

Now I thought I did OK on the why in my little talk, but I thought it would be an interesting practice to elaborate further here.

In my talk I talked about how great the other guys were. So on one level the why of Dharma practice for me is because I have met really amazing people that I really respect, and I like to be around them. But I met awesome people in social work school, I meet awesome people all the time. There is a framework that keeps me meeting these awesome people every year on my ordination retreats, but people get ordained and generally stop coming after a while. (You're allowed to keep coming for a while after ordination.) The larger sangha is awesome. Lots of people come through NYC, and hook up with the sangha, and they are always really cool, interesting soulful people, whom I like to be around, I like to get to know better.

One day on retreat, I was crying a lot in meditation. I was experiencing a kind of primal sadness that is hard to describe, that happens when I meditate a lot. When I came down to my room, on my bed, was a brownie. Someone saw me crying, or maybe just wanted to do something nice, and they left the brownie as a kind thing. Maybe they put a brownie on everyone's pillow and my roommate already ate his. It didn't matter. When I wondered at who could have done that, I thought, "Everyone here could have done that." That's how cool everyone is in the male ordination process that I spend time with on retreat, and the order members who support the retreat.

The other why I mentioned in my talk was that I felt meditation was really healthy. I'm not just meaning feeling good after lifting weights, I mean I feel more healthy in that I feel more receptive to others, I see the lines of more pure actions, how I can positively influence others, I see what my "why" is more clearly. I gain clarity, I process my trauma so that I don't spit it back out unknowingly.

I went on a retreat at the end of 2002 at Aryaloka, in Newmarket New Hampshire. I meditated much of the day, went for walks, talked with others, ate healthy vegetarian food, and learned to love chanting (called puja) and read. Enlightenment came out of meditative experience for the Buddha. I touched on something that blew my mind, I can't even say what it is. My friend talks about glimpses over the wall, and I think the glimpse over a wall on retreat, it's beyond words. Not beyond words in terms of enlightenment, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying it was mind blowing in a healthy way.

Energy is another why I practice the Dharma. I get energy from meditation, reading the Dharma, my friendships and interaction with Sangha. The practices of Buddhism feel very meaningful. When I am with other people in this way I feel connected to something bigger than myself. My grandfather used to criticize my atheism, "but there's nothing bigger than yourself!" Well, in Buddhism that's perhaps the Transcendental Principle or The Dharma or the Three Jewels. The meaning in practicing the Dharma, experiencing sangha, gives me energy.

The Dharma feels profoundly respectful and encouraging. There are a wide variety of practices, from chanting, to altruistic activities, to meditation, to studying and thinking, to spiritual fellowship. Buddhism is the pragmatic advice on the path to enlightenment; from that perspective there is no Buddhist philosophy or theology. You can look at the Yogacara as a philosophy, but I think it's more like a psychological outlook, that grows out of meditative experience. The respect in the Dharma is that we test our own experience about whether something is beneficial for us. It's encouraging in that the sangha supports one. We can use consolation as well as confrontation, self and other power. But I have felt profound encouragement, respecting me.

The why is the inner journey. We've climbed the tallest mountains, gone to the poles, gone deep into the ocean, gone into outer space, the moon. People have done amazing things. There's a marathon that's 135 miles through a hot desert, the Badwater. But can we really say we understand humans in their depth and potential? Do I understand myself. They say you go into therapy sure you know who you are, and come out uncertain and curious.

Here's a quote from a blog I read, from Jung:

"... the principal aim of psychotherapy is not to transport the patient to an impossible state of happiness, but to help him acquire steadfastness and philosophic patience in face of suffering. Life demands for its completion and fulfillment a balance between joy and sorrow." Jung CW 16, p.81

Since I'm a psychotherapist I see the journey in therapy as parallel and complementary, as in any spiritual journey. I know some dislike the importing modern psychology into the Dharma, they feel they have quite enough with the Dharma, thank you. I do it not because I think others should do it, but because that's who I am.

The confrontation of suffering, was, in my opinion, the most interesting chapter in Stephen Batchelor's latest memoir, though there was quite a lot that was interesting in the book. Here is just one wonderful quote from the chapter on suffering (12):

"The aim of mindfulness is to know suffering fully. It entails paying calm, unflinching attention to whatever impacts the organism, be it the song of a lark or the scream of a child, the bubbling of a playful idea or a twinge in the lower back. You attend not just to the outward stimuli themselves, but equally to your inward reactions to them. You do not condemn what you see as your failings or applaud what you regard as success. You notice things coming, you notice them go. Over time, the practice becomes less a self-conscious exercise in meditation done at fixed periods each day and more a sensibility that infuses one's awareness at all times."

So they "why" of Dharma practice is for me, is that it's the most meaningful, healthy, energizing, supportive, connecting, helping, respectful, thing I have found on the inner journey.

hrīḥ

hrīḥ
Originally uploaded by jayarava

Cool

diamond vessel

"The quiet generosity of those who possess almost nothing is a treasure in itself."

p.133 The Yogi's Joy

"... our practice is not to fill ourselves with profound and precious teachings but to make ourselves fit to receive them, to become a strong, unbreakable vessel, even a diamond vessel."

p.135

Lentle Mitra

Shrine
Originally uploaded by sravacitta

Here is the shrine for our practice day today, where we meditate, talk about our lives and the Dharma. The mitra sangha continues to grow, we had a mitra ceremony. Instead of tossing rice, we tossed lentles so I called her the lentle mitra.

Confession of a Buddhist Atheist

"To steady one's gaze on the finitude, contingency, and anguish of one's existence is not easy; it requires mindfulness and concentration."

Stephen Batchelor in Confession of a Buddhist Atheist

I'm reading it on a kindle, so no page reference.

I'm thinking of developing a puja from some of his writings.

I am enjoying this book. I like the intellectual tour de force. I've read his other books. I like his freedom of thought. He's more into confrontation than consolation. He dislikes other power. He does not discuss sangha much, mostly in terms of disagreement. When I met him he said the other star Buddhists he hangs out with are his sangha and the editorial staff at Tricycle, but I thought that wasn't really a satisfactory answer. He was quite gracious to meet with the FWBO NYC sangha. He gave us a signed book, which was very generous. (Give it back Andrew!) Nevertheless this was an awesome book in many ways, and I really like him as a writer. I highly recommend all his works, and this latest is another sterling book that I quite enjoyed. An excellent blend of the personal and thoughts, practice and experiences.

more more on Tiger

Here's an article that asserts it was a Buddhist moment, not a Christian moment, when Tiger apologized.

Another pastor feels threatened by Buddhism and puts it down. Tiger Woods is stirring up a lot of presumptive Christianity.

More on Tiger

The Dali Lama has commented on Tiger Woods. I find it so fascinating that the leader of one of six Tibetan groups, is seen as a kind of pope of Buddhism, when in fact Buddhism has been very good at resisting a central authority. Even in my own realitively small fledgling group, the former FWBO, now know as Triratina Buddhist Community. I wonder what other Buddhist leaders are going to be questioned by journalists.

I can't be bothered to verify if this is true, but according to this article, the home of Brit Hume, Fox has edited out his statement about Buddhism. I like it, in the comments someone calls it "Faux Noiz".

This article quotes Tiger as saying he doesn't believe in Enlightenment.

I believe in Enlightenment. Today on our practice day I'm going to talk about the 3 Fetters, which if they are broken, lead to stream entry. Your being has a momentum that will end in Enlightenment. It is seen as a realistic goal.

Tiger might consider this lovely talk to help clarify his ideas of Enlightenment.

And here's a link that collects links on this subject.

Tiger

He says in his statement today,

"I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously I lost track of what I was taught."

I can't help but think of Brit Hume and his suggestion that Tiger move to Christianity for the forgiveness. I wonder if Tiger was specifically addressing that, or if he was just saying what was important to him.

I think it's interesting he called it a "Faith". I think of it more as a path, faith isn't really emphasized in Buddhism.

This inside and outside distinction is interesting too. Security? I think it's more about happiness. Anyway, it's not far off.

So our most famous Buddhist continues to retain the label.

Wildmind Book Review

It is my utmost honor to be published in Wildmind for a book review. Bodhipaksa is an excellent editor and an awesome writer. I can't wait till his book comes out. I read some drafts. I think after The Essential Sangharakshita, it will be the second most important book of the decade. I don't think I like the book because he's a friend and editor. Sometimes he freaks me out with his intelligence, stillness and wisdom, in a good way.

You know, I'm just one person, and the way I feel about books from within the order is different from books produced outside the order. I've been totally dragging my feet on a book review on Milarepa by Sangharakshita because the book just freaks me out it feels so deep. I have a feeling this by book Bodhipaska will be in my all time top 10, which include Vessantara's Meeting The Buddhas, A Survey of Buddhism and Know Your Mind by Sangharakshita, Stephen Batchelor's Buddhism Without Belief, The Hundred Verses of Advice by Dilgo Khyentse & Padampa Sangye, A Deeper Beauty by Paramananda, Touching Enlightenment by Reginald Ray, Zen Mind, Beginners Mind, and Nothing Special.

Mantra

It came as the biggest surprise to me that mantra and puja would effect me. On the last retreat, a new one infected me. I think in a way that's the power of a rock and roll chorus. I've been singing, from Neil Young:

Old Man, take a look at my life
I'm a lot like you
I want someone to love me
the whole day through
take one look in my eye
you can see it's true

Now what does that mantra say? It's about indentification with the father. It's about the desire to be love, but to be loved all day. It's about looks in the eye, but I think it's also being loved for your true self, being a subject and not an object that functions for other people. For someone to want to know how you feel, regardless if it hurts them a bit, so that there's greater intimacy.

It's poetry that can't be reduced, like "jewel in the lotus" with is "om mani padme hum" I can't help but look as popular music as worldly and sometimes not good mantras. Sometimes.

I can't help add in, after the fact, this posting about song fixing the damaged mind.

quote from a spiritual memior

I enjoyed this quote from This Side of Nirvana by Sara Jenkins:

"Looking back at how others seem to have guided and eased my journey, those who were the most helpful were not (as far as I know) attempting to do anything for me. They were simply following their own path." (p210)

I find it interesting how we influence each other and what fosters positive change in people.

I have read probably 8 Buddhist memoirs, and I'd say this is the best one I've read: Good writing, good storytelling, spiritual insight and friendships, not too long. I like Sangharakshita's 5 memiors, but they are so long and really try to cover his long life, they are not as focused as this single volume. This is an honest account of an average person's struggles in practice on the path.

I think the other memoirs don't give away as much of the struggle, they were people who just took off. Sangharakshita's story is amazing in many ways, but also not so much of our times. To actually go forth the way Sangharakshita did, without any possessions. All the famous people and famous times he lived through are cool.

How did I get into Buddhism?

A friend asked me: How did I get into Buddhism?

There are some factors that contribute to that fatal day in the summer of 2002, when I first took a meditation class with Vajramati. I mark that day as the beginning of more actively becoming a Buddhist through meditation and spiritual fellowship.

Growing up, my mother and father were atheist secular humanists. I think that’s still what they are. One set of grandparents were Baptist, the other Episcopal. So I spent my summers going to church and learning the Christian doctrines. I love my grandparents. They were trying to inculcate me in their tradition. But I never cottoned to Christianity. Never felt it. As soon I can could think I was justifying why I didn’t believe in God. In part it was what drew me to philosophy. How can you say that god does not exist? Now let me be clear. I have friends who do embrace a theistic spirituality and I see the beauty it has for them. I'm not saying people shouldn't embrace the spirituality they find works for them. I'm not saying it can't be beautiful. I'm just saying it did not work for me, and that that was important because I would later find something that did work for me.

In college I read some Zen stuff. I think I understand where they are coming from now, I enjoy the perfection of wisdom, like the idea of transcending dualism. My mother was born in Japan during the occupation; my great grandmother was called “Ba”, short for obasan. But it seemed like an exotic confusing aesthetic, and I didn’t have the context to really understand it. I had no spiritual community or meditative experience.

I watched my stepfather meditate twice a day since about the age of 8, and I’d always wanted to try it. So at the tender age of 35, the age the Buddha became enlightened, I tried a meditation class. Every step I have taken has confirmed me it is the right path. After a month, I stayed after the meditation class for the free Dharma discussion. I happened to be unemployed at the time, and I read a lot of Sangharakshita. In my opinion he has the best exposition of Buddhism. I’d say The Essential Sangharakshita is an instant world spiritual classic, virtually a Mahayana sutra.

I’d also note that I had read some more Buddhism along the way, especially Charlotte “Joko” Beck. I think that’s when I realized the psychological benefits of meditation without actually doing it. I collected little Hotei statues every time I went to a Chinatown. Why was I drawn to these statues? Why was that the thing I collected? Not sure. Now I know Hotei is a folk hero. Now maybe it’s a superficial act, but I feel it’s a kind of response to an icon of Buddhism. There are all kinds of responses. There are many paths and many techniques and many practices that are useful on the path to enlightenment. I feel opening up to that has really helped me.

So I take meditation class in 2002. All spiritual traditions can use meditation, but Buddhism takes it further. The insights can be parroted, but you gain insight only when you grok these meditative insights. You can learn the mindfulness of breathing and be of any denomination.

So the more and more I delve into it, the deeper I’m drawn toward it. I’m a fairly incredulous person. What I like about the practical spiritual teachings that lead to enlightenment is that it’s not a philosophy, nothing to quibble about. Does it work for you? Then it’s Dharma. The idealism of the Yogacara is a kind of way of being that leads to enlightenment, not something to refute philosophically. What you’re experiencing matters. You test it in your own experience. Your experience is part of the equation. Yogacara makes sense with meditative experience.

Reading Stephen Batchelor’s Buddhism Without Belief, I realized there was a path in Buddhism that doesn’t force me to believe in reincarnation. All Buddhist traditions have reincarnation, and I don’t want to dismiss it because it’s foreign. But the point is, it’s a pragmatic course of action, and belief isn’t really what is important. I had found a spirituality that didn’t require me to swallow something I didn’t believe in. I’m not motivated by getting a good rebirth. If that works for someone, well, more power to them.

I also liked Batchelor's confrontation, even if sometimes you want some consolation in spirituality.

I got into meditation. I did a practice day where we meditated a few times consecutively, and then I went on a weeklong retreat at Aryaloka. That blew my mind. I’m still trying to process what happened. I highly recommend going on retreat.

So I became a mitra (friend) and then asked for ordination, and gone on the most awesome retreats, with the most awesome people. Every step I take makes me more confident this is the path for me. This blog is about my journey towards ordination, and hopefully beyond.

I suppose I’ve gloss over the revelations of the spiritual friendship, Bodhisattva Ideal, the use of archetypal Buddhas, mantra. Up till I took the meditation class, all was preparation to make me receptive to the Dharma, spiritual friendship. Sangharakshita’s exposition of the Dharma has clarified so many things for me; he’s a spiritual genius. So many friends along the way have added to my understanding, all the generous teachers who have come. I’ve learned so much listening to Dharma talks from Free Buddist Audio. I happen to be listening to Subhuti's Rambles Aroudn the Yogachara. I have an old post that lists my favorites (at the time, but still holds up pretty true).

That’s an answer to how I became a Buddhist, how I found Buddhism and a little about what it does for me.

The Brit Hume of Singapore?

There's a post on Shambhala SunSpace, that has videos of ministers slagging off Buddhism.

In the end, I think of section 64 of the patience chapter of the Bodhicaryavatara, is my ultimate response:

"My hatred toward those who revile and violate images, stupas, and the sublime Dharma is wrong, because the Buddhas and the like are free of distress."

this side of nirvana

In Sara Jenkins spiritual memoir, she writes, "I tried to pretend that it was all as wonderful in the moment as I knew it would be in retrospect." (P.28).

I think quote captures Jenkins' style, she's honest in her yearning and where she is. What is this feeling that we could be a better person, and yet we need to stay grounded in who we really are?

I find how we work with spiritual ideals really interesting. It's so tempting to just ape being a good Buddhist, for me. The more silent you are the more others can project spiritual depth onto you. The challenge is to open your mouth and create a real relationship with others, who really know you and have a sense of what you can be. It's lovely to be seen not for just what you are, but also what you would like to become. This is something you have to be in tune with someone else to really grasp more or less accurately. Finding these deep relationships is not easy in this world of distraction and struggle for existence, which really means a comfortable existence with the right about of entertainment gadgets (for me, for me, I'm always just really talking about my experience, I can't really presume to know you, dear reader). Writing this I think I need to think more about my digital distraction! I'm going close my laptop and go meditate!

PS--Over at Bodhi Tree Swaying, he shares his lovely musical taste.

Also just read Jayarava's lovely post.

And I just found this lovely new blog: Insight Young Voices, about Dalit youth in India.

500th post: Name change

The name change is something that's going to be going on throughout the FWBO entities, but the hope is that it's going to all go down on Wesak Day, though obviously each entity could not change. There is no central authority, per se. The College of Precepts decides who and when people get into the order. Of course since Sangharakshita founded the order, people tend to listen to him. He has said he's just another order member, perhaps modestly. He's also relinquished his formal roles. The history of the name change is a convoluted one, but basically since the Western Buddhist Order is not just in the west, it's also in the east, they wanted a more neutral name. Similar problems happened in India, where a name would mean something for one group, but not another. They began to discuss this around 1995. It's hard to create a consensus, though many thought the name should change. A name was agreed on, and then it turned out that there were 2 other sanghas with the same name. So recently some India order member have asked for the change. And now it's trying to be implemented. And the FWBO/TBMSG News has reported on it.

Please note I'm outside the heart of things, and I'm not an order member, so you it's the view of a a mitra being expressed here.

fund raiser

Last night we had a gathering of the NYC sangha and friends to raise money for Vajra to go on a 6 month sabbatical. He's leaving next week for 6 months and will be back in August. So many people put in a lot of work, and people spent money and time to make it a lovely event. I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a while, and met a lot of interesting new people.

Here's a photo on facebook.

Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu

We've got 3 new mitras in NYC! What a great going away present for V!

We had a great practice day, sending metta and karuna to Haiti. We read this excellent article on kamma.

Soulful Singing

This looks like so much fun.

Mahasukha has a new CD out.

More about name changes

The Western Buddhist Order was changed to Triratna Buddhist Order. Instead of Friends of the Triratna Buddhist Order, Sangharakshita and the order want to just call it Triratna Buddhist Community. So instead of the WBO and FWBO, there's the TBO and TBC. I await the offical announcements on FWBO/TBMSG News. Thus I have relied on e-mails to the order, which were shared by order members.

A friend had trouble adding the first R in, because there's a mantra that has a similar word. Here is a link to the mantra.

More on change to follow.

Another order member blogs...

vajrasattva - aloka

vajrasattva - aloka
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Final Words on Brit Hume?

There are a few more articles, things are getting deeper, the initial reactions were a little reactive, but I think things are flowing more deeply now. I can't claim to know all the article, but here are 3.

First is Karen Maezen Miller's assertions, which seems pretty deep.

Second is John from Sweep the Dust, Push the Dirt.

Finally is an article from 2004, by Father Joseph S. O'Leary.

Ann Coulter steps in to defend Brit Hume

Here's the link to what she has written (printer friendly version without her adverts).

I question the premise that you need a God for forgiveness. And if there's no God, what is God given forgiveness? What's great about Coulter is that she's so sure she's right. Bold assertion as argument.

She writes: "Is Buddhism about forgiveness? Because, if so, Buddhists had better start demanding corrections from every book, magazine article and blog posting ever written on the subject, which claims Buddhists don't believe in God, but try to become their own gods."

She so boldly rails against ignorance, um, but I don't think Buddhism is about becoming your own god.

She writes: "On MSNBC, David Shuster invoked the "separation of church and television" (a phrase that also doesn't appear in the Constitution), bitterly complaining that Hume had brought up Christianity "out-of-the-blue" on "a political talk show."" (I added the link to Wikipedia.)

Yes.

She quotes the Bible to prove her case. She doesn't realize she's arguing above the system, about different systems? To argue within the system of thought is absurd. Does she have any sense of modernity?

I never really learned to hate Ann Coulter. People rail against her and what she represents. I'm afraid she's living up to her reputation.

Further Links:

(Sweep the dust, Push the dirt blog has a response as well.)

Tom Shales asks for an apology at The Washington Post. You have to sign up to read articles, but it's worth it probably.

a fellow Buddhist

There's a woman in my book club, run by the school my son go to, and she's from Sri Lanka. So we had a conversation. She likes Buddhism because it gives an ethical foundation. She doesn't meditate, and she doesn't go to the temple, but she has a Buddhist necklace. She runs a summer camp where the monks teach and play with the children. I'm going to see if I can get my kids to go to that. I found it interesting that she find the ethics to be the most important thing about Buddhism.

I was listening to a patient the other day, and he'd cleared the decks ethically, so to speak, and he was feeling good. It reminds me that in the path of ethics, meditation and insight, we need a grounding in doing well in life, to move on further. I read once, perhaps I'm misplacing it, but "the gladdening". You just get happy because the clouds have parted to a certain degree and there's a new level of clarity.

Another patient of mine has gone on such a spiritual journey, but he's fickle, he flits from one path to the other, and has chosen paths that were more short cuts. It confirmed me with sticking to my tradition, now renamed.

Envirnonmental? Simplifying?

We're all connected, and it's unBuddhist to bury your head in the sand. Our environment is struggling to adapt to the expansion of human population. Joanna Macy has instructed us in her lovely book Mutual Causality in Buddhism and General Systems Theory: The Dharma of Natural System that our connection to each other means that we do have influence. At times I've thought humanity is too stupid to stop our course of destruction. But there are things you can do.

Henry David Threau has pointed out that so-called time savers must take into account the amount of time you spent working to buy the "time saver." So I'm keeping this in mind as I "buy" the 3 following things.

Aside from biking to work, or using public transportation, and that kind of stuff, I've worked to reduce my amount of possessions. Reducing the clutter in my house is a way of simplifying my life. To that end, I have found 3 things to help reduce.

1. I don't like the idea of buying something to reduce objects, but the Kindle at Amazon can hold up to 1,500 books according to their own estimates. I don't want to advertise the kind, but I have read a book on it, and used it, and I feel it's a way to reduce the amount of paperbacks and books in my house. Plus you can just get books right away, which actually makes it easy to spend a lot of money. But you can send PDFs to yourself and read them on the Kindle. So I can send all the excellent PDFs available by Sangharakshita and from freebuddhistaudio.com. I uploaded the Diamond Sutra, the Puja, Bante's recent letters, and some seminars. I didn't realize before I bought it, I didn't know that to store documents on the Amazon website, they charge 15-30 cents according to the size. But you do have the option of putting it on the Kindle straight from your computer, so you can do it for free. You can upload the Pali Cannon, though I haven't found it all in one PDF so I just upload my favorites. It's a bit of a hassle, but the Pali Cannon has much of it available free on line. Also things like Yeats poems, Jane Austen and others are free because their copywrite has expired, so there's a lot of free content. I think free content is a big seller, plus the reduction of use of paper I might use in printing out a seminar or other items. They thought computers would cut down on the use of paper, but it's actually increased the use of paper. I think Kindle will definitely cut down on the use of paper. And you can use with your laptop and iPhone. There is also a very slow internet connection, so in a jam you can use it to look things up on Wikipedia. I haven't tried to upload MP3 yet, but it say you can do that too. I could become a fairly complete Dharma library with talks and texts. The books are cheaper than hard copies, though not every book in in the format. Unfortunately Windhorse hasn't used the format yet, though Sangharakshita's books on his website on PDF can be read for free.

So I would say the that most books aren't printed in an electronic version, and the fact that Kindle hasn't totally won the reader wars, yet, leaves it possible that something could come along and win the format wars, the way VHS beat Betamax. I've used Amazon for a long time, loving how easy it is to get a book, and they have won the early race. Apparently they rushed the Nook to market, and the Sony reader isn't as attractive, with even less available than the Kindle. But it's not a definitive victory so far, so there is risk involved. It takes a lot of books to make up the cost of the device, but I think ultimately it does pay for itself in book savings by itself.

2. www.paperbackswap.com is another way of changing your used books into unread books you haven't read. There was a point in my life when I was trying to create a library. But the reality of NYC living is that there's just not the space. In my last move (and I've moved a lot in my life) my friend was annoyed at the "trophies" that filled box after box. When I was in social work school, I started filling my backpack with books to sell at The Strand, to pay for my lunch. And now I'm trying to reduce my library by exchanging books I'm likely not to read again. I save Dharma, Psychotherapy books and poetry, but I'm letting go of other books.

The way it works is that you list 10 books, and they give you 2 books credits. After that you get a credit every time someone gets a book. You can also buy a credit. So when someone wants your book, you send it to them. It costs about $2.50 or less to send a book by mail in the USA. I think it's confined to the USA and I'm not sure if there are version in other countries. I've improved my son's library, my wife orders books when I don't need a book. Again, selection is limited. You can't get the complete works of Freud here, there's only one Sangharakshita book. So the 4 million books are mostly best sellers, but that's as usual the fun, to find the gems amongst all the drek.

3. Netflicks: If you're like most people after a certain age, storage of books and DVDs has become a problem. Joining Netflicks solves that problem, you no longer need to buy a DVD, and it's slick and quick. I've seen so many movies on DVDs. But I think the thing that puts Netflicks over the top, is that you can watch movies on line. I have a laptop and have watched so many cool movies on line, it's awesome.

Conclusion: I think these 3 things reduce and simplify, and that helps the environment. I'm not sure if the energy of computers to support these 3 services makes it not helpful. Maybe it's just more simplifying technology, though without the environmental factor it's not that simplifying. Please express your opinion in the comments!

A new name

The Western Buddhist Order has always had trouble with it's name in the east, where it has had various names, and so the order has changed it name so that it can have a global name: Triratna Buddhist Order. Sangharakshita changed it January 6th 2010. I'm still trying to get used to it.

Vishvapani wrote a paper suggesting as such 15 years ago.

Ethan, Rick, Brit

Here's someone on TV actually talking to a Buddhist about Brit Hume.

Also on NPR it's discussed. More Ethan Nichtern. He seems to be the American spokesman so far.

avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara
Originally uploaded by jayarava

cool scripts Jayarava!

TV media reaction to Brit Hume

worsthourse.com has compiled the media responses of the Daily Show, Imus and even O'Reilly and Pat Buchanan.

Here's Keith Oberman and Don Savage.

Here's an 18 minute audio interview.

Comments to Brit Hume

So there have been a lot of reactions to Brit Hume:

Progressive Buddhism lists e-mail addresses where you can complain.

Sweep The Dust, Push The Dirt has a poll. I voted for "Metta Meditation w/Reverend Danny till puppies explode from his heart"

My Buddha Is Pink contains a response and e-mail addresses again. A worthy post worth reading.

Shambhala SunSpace is where I first saw the story.

Bitterroot Badger's Bozeman Buddhist Blog includes his letter to Fox News.

Precious Metal comments briefly.

Huffington Post comments as well.

Brit Hume

Check out this link, which is an article with accompanying video of Brit Hume suggesting that Tiger Woods should become a Christian because he can be forgiven. Of course he doesn't explain how that escapes the consequences of his actions, which I guess is the hidden premise of his comment, but it would be a popular move probably in terms of keeping or regaining his sponsorship, probably. Does Brit Hume really think this naked statement isn't just a plug for Christianity. It's the kind of drastic action that seems like he's doing something, when the reality is that he's tarnished his public image, hurt people close to him, and lost millions of dollars. He's revealed himself as human, with clay feet.

I think what Tiger did was against the precept of sexual misconduct, looking at it from a Buddhist context. When the scandal came out, I asked myself, "why would Tiger get married?" He can sleep around and that's OK if everyone knows what the score is. Sexual misconduct is avoided by being honest and open. You can shag as many multiple partners as you want as long as you don't hurt anyone, not hurt anyone beyond the disappointments of usual relationships. But when he commits to a marriage, he's locked himself in. Why would he do that? My answer is that he wanted it all, to sleep around and have a wife and children. His wife didn't agree to that, and he was duplicitous in hiding it from her, in conducting these affairs. I really don't know enough about the situation, but what the heck, I have an opinion on what Brit Hume said.

My response to Brit Hume is that converting to Christianity will have consequences, just as what Tiger Woods did, but I'm not sure they will be what he expects them to be. Perhaps Brit Hume should talk more about his own spirituality and connect that to why he said that, explain how concerting to Christianity evades consequences, or if he just thinks it's a good idea in general because of the forgiveness.

It's not clear to me that having metta, you wouldn't be forgiving, and that Christian forgiveness is superior to Buddhist forgiveness. Is Mr. Hume hoping for a metaphysical evasion of consequences? I find his comments confusing on many levels. Is Brit saying Christianity is an easier spiritual path? Is that how you choose your spirituality? I can honestly see the attraction of that, I sometimes feel the Buddhist path is hard. I still find it easier than the other ones. Is it that Christianity has loop holes? I remember a friend, who when he found out that you could give yourself supreme unction if no priest was around and clear your sins before you face God, he stopped confessing and holds out for doing that when he dies. Is that the kind of loop hole Mr. Hume is looking for a superficial cleansing? Or wouldn't Tiger Woods have to really convert, not just out of a venial desire to evade justice, and really be sorry? I suppose talking heads on political shows can say what ever they want, but I wonder if naked expressions of unselfconscious superficial spirituality are what the people tuned in for. Of course in this Christian country of USA, he will probably be more popular with unselfconscious superficial people.

In my post I thought it was silly to bring Bjork to trial for blasphemy, it was 14 years ago, and she was making a point out of ignorance. I hope Brit Hume learns from this comment, I hope people respond to him, and let him know what a naked kind of proselytizing his comment was. Perhaps that's what he intended. I'm genuinely curious about why he said what he said. Perhaps he could elaborate in public.

Tulku movie trailer

illusion

Blasphemy In Buddhism

I found this on Sweep The Dust, Push The Dirt. He links this article. Which leads to these 25 blasphemies in Ireland. Among them: "Bjork, 1995: “I do not believe in religion, but if I had to choose one it would be Buddhism. It seems more livable, closer to men… I’ve been reading about reincarnation, and the Buddhists say we come back as animals and they refer to them as lesser beings. Well, animals aren’t lesser beings, they’re just like us. So I say fuck the Buddhists.”

First of all, Sangharakshita deals very deftly with the idea in his essay "Buddhism and Blasphemy", which I can't find an on line edition, but can apparently be bought here. He doesn't seem to be giving it away on his site where he give away quite a lot of amazing content. What I remember from reading the essay was a feeling that blasphemy wasn't really a problem in Buddhism.

The Dharma are the practical teachings that lead towards Enlightenment. Thus theory, philosophy and whatnot is only another aspect of motivating oneself on the path, if it does that. You can avoid theory, philosophy and probably do better on the spiritual path. You just need to know enough to get you going.

Secondly, I think actually Bjork articulates the wisdom of equality and non-discrimination, which is actually in line with Buddhism. I don't take her comment as offensive, because it's based on a false premise. You know, if you're not guilty, not point in getting defensive when someone makes a false charge. And she says she's most attracted to Buddhism. It's unfortunate she's snagged herself on this bit, but people are not fixed, perhaps 14 years later she's not in the same place.

Many of the comments from Sweep The Dust, Push The Dirt, point out that as Buddhist they don't eat meat, and think that animals are equal. So there's also that point, most of my Buddhist friends are vegetarians and vegans.

When the Dali Lama ate meat because his doctors told him he had to for his health, many people said, "see the Dali Lama eats meat." Of course he's the head of one of the six Buddhist sects from Tibet, but he's generally seen as the closest thing the Buddhists will have as a pope. Paul Williams in his excellent book Mahayana Buddhism points out that some scholars think the reason why Buddhism was easily overthrown is that there is no central authority. I like the freedom of Buddhism. Sure, you can find someone to tell you how to think always, but there's a real respect for the individual, in my opinion. So anyway, when the Dali Lama went back to vegetarianism, did those people who noticed he wasn't notice, and follow him? I doubt it. You can always find exceptions. The question is what is best for you to do, and I think vegetarianism is the ideal to strive for.

Some people get mixed up about what spiritual ideals are for. I think they are for striving towards, not judging others, or beating yourself up about. Which brings us back to blasphemy. I think some people like to "defend the faith," but faith isn't so much what Buddhism is about. Do I like Bjork saying "F*ck Buddhists"? Well, she's trying to make a point, I don't think she's walking up to someone meditating and kicking them. So I think she makes her point. Some people are provocative, I can be at times, to get attention, to dramatize thing. Howard Stern and Don Immus are shocking and get rich from it. It's hard to see a Buddhist getting their "knickers in a twist" about Bjork's comment.

So Ireland, another changing cloud of being, if you're trying to be tolerant and protective of Buddhism in Ireland, I appreciate that, but I'm not actually worried about blasphemy. And with a Great Grandfather who is Irish, and an avid fan of Irish literature and the country in general, well, I felt like expressing my opinion, inspired by Sweep The Dust, Push The Dirt. Thank you for your post.

2 short Hanh quotes from Buddha Mind, Buddha Body

p. 99:

"Your family is also a sangha, a small sangha. Your family may have only two, three, four people, but you can very well transform it into a sangha. If you know the practice you can very well transform it into sangha. If you know the practice you can build beautiful Sanghas."

p. 100:

"Finding a community that you respect to practice with is crucial to your happiness."

p93:

"Please remember that you don't need to be rich to practice giving."

Thich Nhat Hanh quote

From p. 77 of Buddha Mind, Buddha Body:

"When mind consciousness operates alone it can be in concentration or in dispersion. Dispersion is when you allow yourself to be carried away by emotions. When we feel out of control of our lives, as if we don't have any sovereignty, that's mind consciousness in dispersion. You think and speak and do things that you cannot control. We don't want to be full of hate and anger and discrimination, but sometimes the habit energy feels so strong we don't know how to change it. There's no loving kindness, understanding, or compassion in your thinking, because you are less than your better self. Like the man who yelled at his child in the morning, you say things and do thing you wouldn't say or do if you were concentrated. You lose your sovereignty."

Vajrasatva Mantra Chanted

Family as a pure land

I can sometimes get trapped into thinking the family is an impediment to meditation, retreat, spending time with sangha, Dharma study. But nothing is so black and white as this. In what sense is the family a pure land?

My answer is that my children have helped me to see certain things, like that I have a bit of a temper and that I have more work to do. They have also taught me kindness and love. I think devoting yourself to the life of a child can be a challenge. I think that's why it's hard to be the child of someone famous: They're less inclined to do the slavery of parenting, they're too important, too busy, too powerful. One of my supervisors said of raising small children, that's it's wonderful but it's also boring. To subjugate yourself to such beings is self abnegating, and of course something useful in the spiritual life. My family life teaches me as many things as I'm open to. Sometimes I yearn for retreat, Dharma study, endless time with sangha. Family also helps me to clarify that that is what I want, because I notice I can't have it. Perhaps not the most important lesson in the world, but a lesson.

So this winter vacation, I'm going to look more towards, how is my family life a pure land, instead of feeling blocked in my other Dharma pursuits. I will work harder to love what is.

Bante Quote

From page 428 of The Essential Sangharakshita:

"Buddhist meditation is a clearing of the decks for action, a transforming of unskillful and unexamined mental states into integrated and refined energy, for a purpose beyond self-absorption."

Thich Nhat Hanh quote

From page 28 of Buddha Mind, Buddha Body:

"When you listen to a talk or read a book about the Dharma, it's not for the purpose of getting notions and ideas. In fact it's for releasing notions and ideas. You don't replace your old notions and ideas with new ones. The talk or the writing should be like the rain that can touch the seed of wisdom and freedom within you. That's why we have to learn how to listen. We listen or read not to receive more notions and concepts, but in order to get free from all notions and concepts. It's not important that you remember what was said, but that you are free."

Many videos

Sangharakshita being interviewd by Karen Armstrong in 1984.

You can click on Clear Vision Trust and look at all the other wonderful videos.

Here's one: Order harmony in the USA

I liked the energy in this one:

Communication exercises in India with Subhuti

new interview with Sangharakshita

On his website, Sangharakshita published his latest conversation. I found out about it from the FWBO/TBMSG News Website.

Here is a sample quote:

"I find it very easy to venerate, to look up: I enjoy looking up to those who are better or more advanced than me in this or that respect. I found it easy to look up to my own Buddhist teachers and I find it easy to look up to the great religious figures, philosophers, poets, and artists of the past. I am very glad that there are people who have been much greater than me: I would hate to think I was the summit of human evolution – that would be a terrible thought. Of course, I have no problem looking up to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas."

Here is another related quote:

"I am not happy with cynicism and debunking or anything like that and I strongly dislike the tendency to that sort of thing in the Movement and the Order."

In these quotes he expresses his credulity, his receptivity to others, his lack of cynicism, his positivity.

I think a major interest is in his discussing his own homosexuality activity, a word he doesn't so much like to use (I'll let you read why in the interview yourself). Others have accused him of internalized homophobia, which he denies, but he empathizes when others struggle with it. He goes into quite depth in his sexual evolution and can be quite specific at times. He's also sensitive to how this is all perceived in India, where a large part of the movement exists. I was interested in whether he had a relationship with Terry, and he explicitly denies it. But it's much more than about sex, it's also about his rejecting monasticism.

He also discusses his drug use, I'll let you read about that in the interview

He also discusses Muriel Paine, whom he got the communication exercises from.

He has an interesting aphorism: "Where there is trust, explanations are unnecessary. Where there is no trust, explanations are useless." He discusses why he didn't respond right away to the Yashomitra letter. He was sick, and he felt that people judged him quickly and would not listen to him. Earlier in the essay he says he does not even remember an encounter with him, which is certainly interesting.

I love Sangharakshita for founding the order, teaching my friends, writing all those wonderful books. I don't agree that he was equal to his sexual partners, even if that is how he approached people. As humble as he is, he's denying himself as the leader of the order.

He admits people had projections towards him, and insofar as he does that he's not relating to someone as an individual. He says that when you get Sangharakshita you get all of him, not just the good parts, you can't reject the bad parts, it's not helpful to see good and bad sangharakshita. He wants to be met more intimately. It's all from the same person. He never sets himself up as perfect. I think there's a lot of interesting stuff here, but in the end, it's like Subhuti's withdrawn book, a lot of fancy dancing, but for what? In this case, we get to know Sangharakshita quite a bit more, and for that I'm grateful.

More information hasn't really shed light onto the Yashomitra situation, because he can't remember it. It puts it more into a personal context, from his perspective. I don't hear him say it's unfortunate that Yashomitra took things the way he did, and that by no means did he mean for them to go that way. Of course he can't remember the incident, so I suppose it's hard to apologize for something he can't remember. As I say, while I helps one to understand what Bante was doing at that time, it still doesn't really shed light on the incidents that Yashomitra discuss, and the impact it had on him.

He does go on to say that his sexual exploration were a good thing, in that it was an exploration of sexuality within the Dharma life, and that for him the key was not to create children that would distract one from the Dharma life.

You can read Yashomitra's letter and the Guarding article on the FWBO Files, a anti-FWBO website produced by a former member of the order (which I don't feel like linking, but have in the past). I won't go into what is said about the author of the website, either.

Finally there is a lot about the nuclear family. He sees family life as in competition with the full time Dharma life.

I have to admit, children have taken a lot from me, my personal present Dharma malaise is related to my crushing responsibilities, my need for sleep, the need to provide for my family. My single friends are however under a similar crush with their careers, the struggle for self actualization and paying rent. It's not clear in NYC that I'm less committed than the single mitras and friends. Perhaps that's more a statement about the NYC sangha than parenthood and leading the Dharma life. I also wonder about integrations of family and Dharma life. Perhaps that's up to others to explore.

So on the whole a very interesting and informative letter. I recommend it to all those interested in the FWBO/WBO/TBMSG. In many ways it says things that haven't been said before. I am very grateful it's been shared.

Silliness

I found this through Shambhala SunSpace, which, by the way, has some good articles on prison Dharma. I've been inside for a retreat and correspond with a Dharma brother inside. Many of my friends participate as well, it's a big part of their practice.

Also in the news, a man in a coma meditated... via Christoper Titmuss, who by the way has an awesome talk on FBA.

Advertisements

Bhante says in Wisdom Beyond Words. "Every advertisement that you see is in effect an advertisement against Buddhism, because it promotes greed, hatred, and delusion or all three"

Found at Ratnaghosha's blog.

Giving Yourself Away

From Karen Armstrong's biography of the Buddha (159):

"The Sangha is one of the oldest surviving voluntary institutions on earth: only the Jain order can boast a similar antiquity. It's endurance tells us something important about humanity and human life. The great empires, manned by vast armies of soldiers, have all crumbled, but the community of bhikkhus has lasted some 2,500 years... The message seems to be that it is not by protecting and defending yourself that you survivie, but by giving yourself away."

Book Review

Ethnic Buddhism is culture confused as spiritual teachings. You could use something like a Japanese Tea Ceremony to improve your mindfulness. There are hundreds of different practices to choose from. Buddhism is new to the USA, and we have taken to meditation and an intellectual approach, as far as I can tell. To be honest, I have not wandered far from the FWBO, which is an ecumenical and inclusive order. But I do enjoy reading about other traditions. I enjoy learning about other cultures as well. I don’t know if ethnic Buddhism counts as culture of Dharma. As the Dharma travels through different cultures, it changes, new aspects are revealed. The Buddha didn’t want his ideas translated into the formal Brahminical language—he spoke in the language of the people.

In reaction to monastic formalism, Shinran quit the monastery he’d been in for 20 years, and got married and preached a more devotional populist Dharma, Rejecting an emphasis on meditation. What I like is that Shinran followed his heart, he experimented against the grain. I don’t personally want to reject meditation, or attempts at stream entry in this life. But the most popular form of Buddhism on the planet Earth is Pure Land Buddhism, a devotional form of Buddhism. Shinran is part of the WBO refuge tree, which I do as prostration practice and visualization.

The Buddha’s Wish For The World by Monshu Koshin Ohtani spins a basic unpretentious Dharma, that is deeply embedded in Japanese culture. (“Monshu” is a heredity title, by the way, and Buddhism was more about a natural hierarchy than being born into a role, but no doubt the training the Dali Lama has gotten has helped him to evolve to quite an awesome.)

Here are links to other reviews of the book.

One on Amazon:

"This publication honors the 750th memorial of the founder of Jodo Shinshu, Shinran Shonin (1173 -1263). Jodo Shinshu, who established this spiritual path in 13th century Japan, had much in common with his contemporary, Zen Master Dogen."

It's a positive review, but I don't share Ted Biringer's glowing review, but perhaps he was more in tune with the book.

Here is another positive review.

One of my friends said a practice of Shin Buddhism is to say the mantra eighty thousand times in a day. Now that’s something. Extreme things appeal to me. You have to do something challenging to shake up ordinary consciousness to move towards enlightenment.

I'm not attracted to the other power yet, but I'm going to keep reading Shin Buddhism to see if I can glean any insights into devotional aspect of Buddhism.

Excellent work in India

The appeal

"Many aspects of the Buddha's quest will appeal to the modern ethos. His scrupulous empiricism is especially congenial to the pragmatic tenor of our own Western culture, together with his demand for intellectual and personal independence. Those who find the idea of a supernatural God alien will also warm to the Buddha's refusal to affirm a Supreme Being. He confined his researches to his own human nature and always insisted that his experiences--even the supreme Truth of Nibana--were entirely natural to humanity. Those who become weary of the intolerance of some forms of institutional religiosity will also welcome the Buddha's emphasis on compassion and loving-kindness."

from Karen Armstrong's biography of the Buddha.

Why Eric is a vegetarian

Aryaloka dome

Aryaloka dome
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Aryaloka Buddha 1

Aryaloka Buddha 1
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Aryaloka Buddha 3

Aryaloka Buddha 3
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Aryaloka garden

Aryaloka garden
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Buddha attacked by Mara, Bodh Gaya

Buddha attacked by Mara, Bodh Gaya
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Bhante Padmaloka

Bhante Padmaloka
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Guhyaloka Shrineroom - Refuge Tree

Guhyaloka Shrineroom - Refuge Tree
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Padmasambhava - Aloka Padmaloka

Padmasambhava - Aloka Padmaloka
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Missoula RMBC door 2

Missoula RMBC door 2
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

San Francisco BC front door

San Francisco BC front door
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Aryaloka entrance

Aryaloka entrance
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

listening to a talk2

listening to a talk2
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

For some reason I like this one.

Bodhipaksa's next book

Bodhipaksa is working on a book developed out of reflections on the 6 Element practice, and he's allowed me to read 4 of the chapters so far. It's an amazing book, I can't wait till it comes out.

In the 6 Element Practice you contemplate how the elements of earth, water, air, fire (energy), space and consciousness are inside of us, outside of us, then you say, "they are not me, they are not mine."

It leads to a kind of spiritual death, and in the FWBO/TBMSG it is used as a run up to ordination, when you get a sadhana practice, a visualization of an archetypal Buddha, who has qualities you move towards, you become. I have not been asked to join the order, but I think about what sadhana I want to do when (hopefully) I'm asked to join. I have a connection with Avalokita, and others, and more recently with Amoghasiddhi.

But that's in the system of meditation designed by Sangharakshita for the F\WBO. I think you can just do this meditation. I've spent time doing it after liking it on one retreat. I've had some profound experiences, and been brought up to the great fear.

So Bodhipaksa has gained some insights from the meditation and he's done some back ground research into various aspects, and it's really quite interesting. I find it quite amazing. I can't wait till it comes out. It's the kind of book that you read on a solitary retreat, it's that awesome.

Mamma Zen

Here's a quote from Mamma Zen by Karen Maezen Miller:

“There is a certain attitude, perhaps unavoidable, that most of us seem to adopt when we grow up. It’s a kind of self-satisfied conclusion that our parents didn’t love us enough. They didn’t love us the right way. They didn’t love us just so. Have your own child and you will penetrate in to he utter absurdity of that idea. You will love your child as your parents loved you and their parents loved them. With a love that is humbling and uncontrived, immense and indestructible. Parents err, of course, and badly. They can be ignorant, foolish, mean and far worse, in was that you can come to forgive in them and try to prevent in yourself. But this wholesale shortage of parental love at the crux of everyone’s story must be the product of shabby and self serving recollections. Now that you are a mother, and set that story aside, forgetting everything you thought you knew about love.”

I find this quote powerful.

Along similar lines, there is Naiken Therapy.

Bhante as boy

Bhante as boy
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Dhammarati waist-up sitting on wall, just after his ordination, Blasy, Glasgow 1976(2182Ax)

Dhammarati waist-up sitting on wall, just after his ordination, Blasy, Glasgow 1976(2182Ax)
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Nagabodhi, 1978 Order Convention, Vine Hall

Nagabodhi, 1978 Order Convention, Vine Hall
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

Nagabodhi, 1987

Nagabodhi, 1987
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

yea

USA Aryaloka community, New Hampshire 1990s (ref 1882aAx)

USA Aryaloka community, New Hampshire 1990s (ref 1882aAx)
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

I know at least 3 of these guys.

WBO REFUGE-TREE

WBO REFUGE-TREE
Originally uploaded by FWBO photos

I've been reading Teachers of Enlightenment, and I found this photo on FWBO Photos. This is the FWBO refuge tree.

Amoghasiddhi

On most retreats, I forge deeper connections to archetypal Bodhisattva. Last year I got into Ksitigarbha, which was appropriate because I was working in a prison at the time. I've had a lovely retreat on the historical Buddha, Gautama Buddha. My first connection was to Avalokitesvara. Then to balance that out I got into Manjushri, the two are seen as going together, wisdom and compassion. I've talked to people about various jinas. And of course the extensive work on the prostration practice to the WBO refuge tree, has us exploring these grounds over again. I have read Vessantara's Meeting The Buddhas, and I want to reread it all again, though mostly it's a reference book to look into. It's hard to digest it all. I suppose some people can swim in these kinds of waters, and I'm getting better at that. Some people don't respond to the archetypal Bodhisattva, and that's OK. There are many tools on the path, it's up to you to try and check them out. Of course it's also worthwhile to try some, maybe more than once, because others before on the path have used them.

Amoghasiddhi represents fearlessness, unobstructed success. We had a really cool mantra on the retreat about him, and I sang it all the way home. I've been chanting it a lot, and thinking about him. So I just wanted to remember when I first got my connection to Amoghasiddhi. I think I've heard a talk about him before, an order member had a sadhana of Amoghasiddhi. So maybe I was introduced to it then, but I did not feel so much of a connection. It was through mantra, in the midst of a retreat, during a puja, that I forged this connection I'm feeling strongly.

(All links to Wikipedia, the amazing on-line, open source encyclopedia, which you can improve!)

In an endnote, there is an order member in the WBO that is named Amoghasiddhi, and you can read his story by clicking on this sentence.

Retreat

So in a way a retreat experience is inexpressible to people outside the spiritual community. Of course I talked a lot on retreat to my spiritual friends. I suppose what I'm doing is to try and think about he retreat now, as a kind of way to keep it alive. Of course I write in my journal and to friends.

In fact, spiritual friendship is one of the keys to retreat experience. I get into a kind of tender and soft place, and that makes me more open and receptive. That's what the retreat was about--receptivity. We focused on the acceptance verse in the public ordination, "with loyalty to my teachers." One aid in that is the Cetokhila Sutta. This translation is a little different, in ours it talked about "ardor", which is a lovely word. I'm not going to go into the sutta, except to say that I have to kind of map it out on a sheet of paper to make sense of it. Because it's from an oral tradition it has all these mnemonic devices to help the monks memorize it, and that makes it actually hard to me to hear it. My mind wants a kind of outline or a story. The other thing I would say is that I uncovered personal reasons why, in my mind, there is subtle doubt about companions in the spiritual life, and I worked hard to understand the barriers I put up. My isolation is becoming less and less tenable.

How do I become more soft, tender. Lots of meditation. I have to say, compared to most of my brothers, I'm too wiggly of a meditator. I'm not so flexible, and I quickly scratch myself, put my legs up to make them comfortable. Compared to my rock like peers. But this retreat I was trying to appreciate and explore my body, with the influence of old Reggie Ray and his last book on somatic meditation, and Paramananda's book The Body. So, when my knees began to hurt, I investigated, tried to bring a sense of play instead of feeling trapped. I get twisty knee pain when I sit in a modified half lotus, and straight on knee pain when I used my bench. There's a kind of princess and the pea situation where I pile up a bunch of mats to try and not feel hardness on my knees. I would modify my posture to put more pressure on my butt, but then I would be hunched. I was trying to keep my body aligned, the hips at the right angle, my head at the right angle, my arms just so, and my shoulders not hunched.

So the pain would lead to a panic attack, and the panic attack led to emotional pain. I cried a lot. Someone put a brownie on my pillow Wednesday. The cool thing was that I thought anyone on the retreat was capable of it. That kind of kindness kills me.

So in the company of men, we told our life stories, and met in small groups and heard talks, lots of discussion of the Dharma. I have to say, I love Dharma talk. We also went on walks with each other, I thoroughly enjoyed talking with everyone. I have to say it's a special group of men. The food was good. It was more nature than I'm used to in NYC, so I enjoyed looking at green, seeing trees sway in the wind, sitting outside.

Here's what google earth shows as the two domes:


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Looks pretty green around there. Here's where I live on Google earth:


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Not my real address by the way but my neighborhood. Anywho, to continue. We also listened to a good talk by Subhuti on just sitting meditation.

I also read David Smith's book, A Record of Awakening. Someone mentioned it, and I'd forgotten it, so since it's short, I read it again. I never got to read the letter as to why he decided not to try and join the order, and started his own sangha. It's funny, there are a lot of controversies going around the order, but out here you kind of miss them. Something to talk about I suppose.

So, that's all I want to say for now. I have to say, I'm not sure what my point about communicating this stuff is to the strangers, I question blogging. Am I some kind of exhibitionist? Am I really adding to the knowledge of the Dharma? I doubt it. I expect it's kind of like a public notebook record of my spiritual life, and that's not a horrible thing. I hope everyone is well.

we did well

Retreat

I'm off to a retreat tomorrow. I'm very excited. With work school and family, I don't do retreat as much as I would like, but then again I chose to have a family and work, I chose an intense profession. It's a great thing that my wife doesn't raise a stink about taking care of our 2 small boys while I'm gone. Not too much. I encourage her to go on retreat, but she doesn't want to be away from the family and thinks I'm a little crazy to do it.

I don't work at Aryaloka so it's fairly untainted for me. I have dreams where I'm trying to get there. The retreat will be 9 days, men only. I enjoy being with men. I like single sex activity. The retreat is also for men who have asked for ordination into the Western Buddhist Order.

My friend jokes, so you can marry people? People ask me if I'm going to open up a church? Here is what the F/WBO has to say about it. I don't think I'm getting ordained any time soon, but I feel impatient to join the order at times. I reported in, answering questions, in an e-mail. Ongoing work in trying to deepen my practice.

I'm looking forward to a retreat from electronic devices. I don't even really read much when I'm on retreat. It's going to be a lot of face to face conversations, meditation, healthy vegetarian grub, chanting, discussion, puja and confession. I hope to go for walks and look and appreciate trees and the river.