Mating Mind

Living single for the first time in 40 years, I've become aware of what I guess I'll call the mating mind. I have a book about the mating mind, and in it I learned that the human brain is the peacock feathers of humans, unnecessary ornament. We don't need the minds we have to survive really, it's overclocked. 

What to do with this mind? I think that is why the Dharma is so important. It's good to understand it and all, but the development, the literature, the ideas, the sharing of the tradition, the history is all something to put that peacock mind to. When you simplify life, what do you think about? 

I listen for metta, positive welling up, warm feelings about relationships. What is the equivalent in mindfulness of breathing? It's the rapture, the positivity in following the breath. It's as much about seeing what's blocking these things as it is feeling these things.

How light my body!
Touched by abundant
rapture & bliss,
—like a cotton tuft
borne on the breeze—
it seems to be floating
—my body!

Thag 1:104

Sound of Music

I love the movie Sound of Music. I saw it in middle school, the whole school took a bus to the theater and we watched it at school. At the time I was just glad to watch a movie instead of have school, but I really appreciate the movie now. 

The struggle of a new novice who loves life, is interesting. It has me thinking how renunciation has been scrubbed out of the western version of Buddhism, and why there are subreddits like r/goldenswastika, which inter alia contrasts western versus eastern followers, converts versus heritage followers. Mostly it's Theravadan against the rest, but that is almost something ashamed they hide. Some ancient lineages try to jump onto bandwagon. In general communication between strangers isn't always polite. And it's also an opportunity to show your true face. That the sangha has many divisions is nothing new.

My root guru Sangharakshita, though the joy of aesthetic appreciation was essential to the spiritual life. These modern exceptions might be why he thought it was OK to experiment sexually, that got him into trouble, and delegitimize his movement started in 1967, what is now called Triratna. I'm not convinced that much of the vilifying is anti-gayness. There's always going to be tension in updating and modernizing Buddhism. What is essential and what is of the times?  

The Mahayana path of living in the world and striving for the high ideals of Buddhism is what Maria chooses in the Sound of Music. She marries into a Jewish family who must flee during the Holocaust. I don't really understand what sides of a story need to be taught about the Holocaust. People who deny it happening are quacks, and you don't have to entertain every quack who comes along. There are holocausts going on now, I'm sensitive to the ones going on in so called Buddhist countries, against the Rohingya and the Uyghur. Genocide is the name now.

I like New York City where Muslim and Buddhist get along, where Russian and Ukrainian get along. The conflict here is between those who don't value life and pretend to, and those who really value life. I suppose it's the same conflict. People can decide it's OK to kill certain people for various reasons everywhere. I can only cut down the murderousness in my life. I had a hankering for an egg sandwich the other day, and gave into it. My moral slips are around food these days, but I believe corporations need to do more for the global warming crisis. I'm a drop in the bucket. I think the excessive moral preoccupation with individual choices are because the group doesn't seem to be making the right choices and that feeds into the guilt of the individual, passing off blame the corporations really deserve. How long will it take for humanity to work out these kinks? The world is changing so rapidly but humans still seem to be a mixture of good and not quite as good. 

One fascinating aspect of the movie Sound of Music is that Jewishness seems to be totally scrubbed from the movie. No Yiddishisms or Jewish food, or mention of anything Jewish. On the one had that seems weird, on the other perhaps it's saying there are no differences between human beings, and a little cultural difference isn't even noticeable. That's the hope of America not inspired by MAGA anyway. Economic tensions bring out intolerance, and when politicians use it to get into office, hate crimes go up. Growing up naive in Wisconsin, I didn't really know about Judaism or the context, and I didn't really get the movie when I first saw it.

You know each time you see an old classic movie there's a song you didn't notice before. I thought this one was interesting for some reason, the way it's both pushing and pulling on confidence. 

I Have Confidence

What will this day be like?

I wonder

What will my future be?

I wonder

It could be so exciting

To be out in the world

To be free

My heart should be wildly rejoicing

Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure

To do the things I've never dared

Now here I'm facing adventure

Then why am I so scared?

A captain with seven children

What's so fearsome about that?

Oh, I must stop these doubts

All these worries

If I don't I just know I'll turn back

I must dream of the things I am seeking

I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance

Face my mistakes without defiance

Show them I'm worthy

And while I show them

I'll show me

So let them bring on all their problems

I'll do better than my best

I have confidence

They'll put me to the test

But I'll make them see

I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them

I will be firm, but kind

And all those children

Heaven bless them

They will look up to me

And mind me

With each step I am more certain

Everything will turn out fine

I have confidence

The world can all be mine

They'll have to agree

I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine

I have confidence in rain

I have confidence that spring will come again

Besides, which you see

I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers

Strength doesn't lie in wealth

Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers

When you wake up

Wake up!

It's healthy

All I trust I leave my heart to

All I trust becomes my own

I have confidence in confidence alone

(Oh, help)

I have confidence in confidence alone

Besides, which you see

I have confidence in me

Hanshan poem 229 & 230

229

All of you are priceless gems

aboard a rotting ship at sea

in front the mast is gone

in back there is no rudder

heading wherever the wind may blow

moving with the waves

how will you reach shore

don't just sit there stiff

230

All I see are fools

piling higher gold and grain

getting drunk and eating creatures

imagining they're well-to-do

unaware of Hell's abyss

seeking only Heaven's bliss

but with karma like Vipula

how can they escape disaster

suddenly the rich man dies

people crowd around in tears

then they hire some monks to chant

though such ghostly pay is void

and provides no future blessings

why support the hairless bunch

better to wake up in time

don't create a hell of darkness

be a tree that fears no wind

steadfast and unmoved by fate

tell the blockheads you might meet

read this over once or twice

I had not seen this

 "A monk who has been accepted should not deprive a living being of life, even if it is only a black or white ant. Any monk who purposely deprives a human being of life, even to the extent of causing an abortion, is not a contemplative, not a son of the Sakyan.

"Just as a solid block of stone broken in two cannot be joined together again, in the same way a monk who has purposely deprived a human being of life is not a contemplative, not a son of the Sakyan. You are not to do this for the rest of your life."

— Mv I.78.2

Some of the practices of endangering the life of the mother because we’re swinging too far towards pro-birthers of low chances in highly compromised and deformed fetuses. And the dangers of botched illegal abortions, plus the rise in crime as abortion becomes illegal doesn’t make it so clean. It’s a religious stance that doesn’t necessarily mean to be imposed on those who don’t follow. Not everyone aspires to be a Theravada monk.

If some sects aren’t vegetarian, then ahimsa doesn’t always carry the day. The culture and context matter. I’m not sure about the translation.

I wouldn’t personally ask a woman to have one, but I feel it’s important not to impose my religion on those who don’t believe it. For me the frame of taking away the choice and autonomy of women’s bodies for non-believers doesn’t feel right in this day and age.

There are all sorts of complicated scenarios, and I think when you're in them, the medical setting should be guided by people who understand the medicine and don't have an ideological idea one way or the other. These political judgements from a distance are not really necessary. The political situation is that people who don’t take life preciously are interested in control.

Quotes and Memes not Buddhism, but around the spiritual life

 

The Vajji Seven

Numbered Discourses 7.29 quote:

"These seven things don’t lead to the decline of a lay follower. What seven? They don’t miss out on seeing the mendicants. They don’t neglect listening to the true teaching. They train in higher ethical conduct. They’re very confident about mendicants, whether senior, junior, or middle. They don’t listen to the teaching with a hostile, fault-finding mind. They don’t seek outside of the Buddhist community for those worthy of religious donations. And they serve the Buddhist community first. These seven things don’t lead to the decline of a lay follower.” (Sujato)

First off, there is a lay/monk split in the world. Monks can go for it, and the lay just means you're not a monk and you can go for it, but it's less likely since you haven't renounced the world. Improving circumstances is supportive of the path. 

My question, if you have these deep meditative states that are fragile and depend on isolation and supportive conditions, do they evaporate when the supportive conditions aren't present? 

I think the point is to develop a level of insight that sustains a practice back in the world. 

A mendicant is a wandering teacher. That means they have given up the home life if they wander. They have gone for refuge. Can you get teachings from a lay follower? There are plenty of these. 

It's important to get teachings from good teachers, of course. 

Ethics is important. Start the spiritual life and neglect ethics, and you'll find you can't really go deeper, because everyone is criticizing you and it interferes with your mental state. But the biggest critic is yourself, and you people can justify anything. I saw Ghislaine Maxwell didn't seem to be remorseful, that contributed to her getting 20 years. I've been reading about the Manson Family. There's a kind of entitled I can do whatever I want attitude, based in the wild west of trauma reactions. Manson had a horrible childhood. When you get into the real adversity of childhood, you can see how people would have something missing. It's not clear why the followers had something missing, but I'm more interested in virtue than forensics. 

The rise in narcissism is a function of the capitalist system of neglect, where parents have to work all the time, and child care doesn't pay. If America really valued itself, children would be invested in. The right's response is family, not government. You don't have a stable family? I guess we're all shit out of luck. Parenting used to be easier, you fed them, clothed them, and gave them some prompts, but school and outside took care of the rest. Now children aren't alone outside, and you're supposed to be an expert of sensory integration, nutritionist, reading teacher, homework helper, media educator, and a million other things. Now it's an impossible project. In the age of information, parenting is often about how you fall short of some crowd sourced expectation. Despite it all children are raised well, despite the formidable new and old obstacles.

Every problem in my life can be attributed to a breach of ethics I didn't understand. Live and learn. Patience, humility, empathy and willingness to learn can go a long way.

Trusting the tradition enough to seek them out is another important aspect. In this day and age you have to evaluate the quality of the source of information. The guru system is about identifying leaders, and getting into a personal relationship with them, where they guide your learning and development. 

I don't set myself up as a teacher, but I do like to articulate my attempts at understanding.

Question: Does wanting a teacher signal dependence, and an unwillingness to trust your own experience and ability to navigate your own development?

I spent 10 years in the belly of the sangha and 10 years hermit solo, and I miss other's natural checks, but I don't miss other's trying to enforce their personality, in the mistaken idea that there is only one way to be. 

For every person who's excited by Alan Watts videos on YouTube, there are people who seek out the teachers who are really doing it, and aren't as dynamic communicators because they articulate a difficult path, and aren't about accumulation of attention for material gain. These unsexy humble teachers will be the best. 

The marketplace in America rewards popularity and saying things that get you popular. It's hard for their to be a really merit based system when the consumers are learning. This is why I like the system of not having to pay for the teachings. The teachings are free. A retreat perhaps covers the rent and supplies, fees can cover the room for sangha night, but I don't see money being needed. I've really benefited from the retreats at Aryaloka, but I don't have the money or time for retreats, and I really feel it. When things are scarce you savor memories. I have feasted on memories the past 10 years. The independence I have developed is my silver lining. Here is a quote from the Pali Canon:

Dhammapada 329: If for company you cannot find a wise and prudent friend who leads a good life, then, like a king who leaves behind a conquered kingdom, or like a lone elephant in the elephant forest, you should go your way alone.

We're more "connected" through the internet, but I feel like it's just helping us to realize how alone we are. 

Taking responsibility for my spiritual life, it behooves me to get the best support available. 

Lots of questions on Reddit are quibble questions. If there's no self, what is reborn? How can you become desireless? How do you know the Buddhists gods are the one true gods? 

The principle of charity means you imagine the other person is onto something and isn't just blowing smoke because you're not familiar with it. It's also from the other side called the benefit of the doubt. 

I redirect people to connect with sangha, and develop from there. If you're exploring Buddhism to prove your other path is the right one, then that's not really an exploration. 

It's weird, if life you come to conclusions and think about things and imagine you've settled them. I've decided I've not made up my mind on this crazy abortion debate going on in America. I don't want to take anything off the table. And I'm not impressed by people expressing certitude. There was a fascinating article in Tricycle, where a lay woman gives her views, and I found it to be interesting, and important because it was a woman expressing her opinion, instead of the men enforcing their narrow views where they feel entitled to take things off the table, declare it's settled. Followers often follow such sure people, but not me. 

Reddit seems to be split between people living in Buddhist countries who assume they don't have to modernize or update the teachings, and new age hippy dippy anything goes western liberals. These two don't mix well, and by bombing social media one side or the other can seem to win. Discussion isn't so much about winning and losing though, IMHO, and more about sharing of experience. 

Once again I feel like we're at a place where people are trying enforce personality, and not really support other people's practice. Spot the polarization and pick a side. I'm learning to resist that temptation more and more. 

Beginner's mind is important when approaching study, teachers, and sangha relationships. The Bible really thumps on humility, but the Pali Canon doesn't as much, it's much more sprinkled with a variety of virtues. Still humility is important. As someone who rejects Christianity, it's tempting to go in the other direction, but that's reactive and not creative. 

Sometimes I want some spice. I recently got interested in Jiddu Krishnamurti. Sometimes it feel claustrophobic to only read the pali canon. There have been some developments since the Buddha 2500 years ago. Lots of ideas. The best teachers update and integrate the teachings, and yet somehow hold onto the tradition, if I can get away with having it both ways. I try to read at least a few sentences of pali canon every day, to keep in touch with the teachings. That's why I'm doing this sutra today. Being focused on the teachings of the Buddha is an important trait of a Buddhist. In a way I think it leads everyone to be a scholar and a monk. So be it.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror

 

 

 

Source 

Mary Oliver poem

 

Caring for Bliss

I've been thinking that when I listen for metta in metta meditation, I can also listen for bliss in mindfulness of breathing. 

Along comes a study about bliss:

"...caring for bliss enhanced the effect of high self-compassion on flourishing and compensated for the effect of low mindfulness on flourishing. Caring for bliss also buffered the effect of low mindfulness on depressive symptoms." (Source)

I'm not sure what they mean by "caring for bliss", except that you notice bliss.

Muñja grass

 Footnote 7: “Muñja grass was the ancient Indian equivalent of a white flag. A warrior expecting that he might have to surrender would take muñja grass into battle with him. If he did surrender, he would lie down with the muñja grass in his mouth. The Buddha, in asking this rhetorical question, is indicating that he is not the type of warrior who would carry muñja grass. If defeated, he would rather die than surrender.”  -Noble Warrior

“when I was still just an unawakened bodhisatta, the thought occurred to me: ‘Why don’t I keep dividing my thinking into two sorts?’ So I made thinking imbued with sensuality, thinking imbued with ill will, & thinking imbued with harmfulness one sort, and thinking imbued with renunciation, thinking imbued with non-ill will, & thinking imbued with harmlessness another sort.”

Fanshan doesn't raise above society's sexism.

 In poem 173 of Red Pine's translation (2000), Fanshan doesn't raise above the sexism of China. He talks about women as though they are a burden, as though they are to be belittled and tolerated. They are compared to donkeys.

 

I'm not canceling Hanshan because I haven't met someone deeply who I didn't find some things I didn't like. If I'm canceling anything it's the NRA and Abbott. The republican congress that allowed the assault rifle ban to lapse. People who accept the sacrifice of children on the altar of false freedoms. My position on gun control.

The prevalence of people who think uttering gender conformity or ranking on the other gender is high. Honestly I took a break with this book after reading that. I got back to the book eventually. I really like Thomas Pynchon's novel Inherent Vice, but there are not any strong or virtuous women in the movie. I think in a way the book calls for superficial sexpots, but that doesn't mean you can't have one women character who has some depth or something interesting besides their body's ability to excite a man. 

I know it's a modern sensibility that honestly not a lot of men seem to have, but Franzen talks about it some. "Read a book from 50 years ago by John Updike, Norman Mailer, Thomas Pynchon, Kurt Vonnegut and, even though I love him, Joseph Heller, and you see they weren’t thinking about women in the right way. Those are pretty sexist books… I wish people would be spontaneously sensitive, but if they can’t, then a little bit of enforcement doesn’t seem to me a bad thing.”

TAIMA TEMPLE MANDALA

 

Source

Listen to the Pure Land Sutras.

Rilke poem

 

Question

Is the story that the Buddha had a wife and child perhaps not historically accurate, and a kind of marketing idea to appeal to the masses? Is that why there is not mention of them in this passage?

MN 36

“So at a later time, when I was still young, black-haired, endowed with the blessings of youth in the first stage of life, having shaved off my hair & beard—though my parents wished otherwise and were grieving with tears on their faces—I put on the ochre robe and went forth from the home life into homelessness."

That his son and wife were not mentioned doesn't prove that they were not so, it's just a question that arises. What do we really know of a great sage from 2500 years ago. We have a lot of amazing texts that are available in translation. I'm grateful for the Pali Canon translations. They are amazing. 

What if the Buddha was spiritual from the time of his adulthood? What if he didn't enter into life with a wife and child? Would that really change his insights? In a way the biography of the Buddha is fantastical and miraculous, signaling that something special is there. As you read the formulas of the teachings over and over, there seems to be something more than just those words, though putting it all together and applying the words can support a strong practice. The tradition of a sangha can also support personal progress. Personal effort can support progress. Supportive conditions can support progress. Access to the teachings and support lead to progress. Various sects emphasize certain things. Charlotte Joko Beck preached the nothing special doctrine. Pema Chodron says start where you are. There is an ocean of teachings and updates. 

It's our modern times that we want to know the Buddha or Shakespeare for that matter. We want to know a person to locate the teaching in them, but there's something larger there, and like all good teachers, the teachings are larger than the people. Shakespeare's life might not be as interesting as the plays that he authored in collaboration with the troupe and other writers. 

Hope

Dahui Temple, built 1503

"... I do believe quantum revolutionary shifts can happen, though an upsurge of violence often precedes them before the old system gives way. For instance, a dominant narrative of post-apartheid South Africa is that it was a peaceful transition of power. However, as recorded in Gary Kynoch’s book, Township Violence and the End of Apartheid, this was not the case. What unfolded in the four years leading to the first democratic elections in April 1994 was the bloodiest period of the entire Apartheid era, with an estimated 14,000 deaths attributed to political violence." Thanissara in "A Dharma Heart for These Times" in Insight Journal.

Also "If democratic rights are lost, it will have devastating consequences for climate justice, not only here but around the world. What does a battle we can’t afford to lose mean for us?"

Also, "Ajahn Chah distinguished between the peace of meditative calm, or samadhi, which primarily depends on a tranquil environment, and the more profound peace that arises from wisdom."

And, "Even though hope for the future hangs by fraying threads, there is enormous potential in our ability to organize as Dharma practitioners and as citizens. Amid a world on fire, we have the skills to balance between hope and nihilism."

Plus, "As we face wars, flooding, fire, and the old ghosts of fascism, I want to advocate for a deeper inquiry that enables honest conversations about the monsters living beneath this “business-as-usual” and what we want to do about them."

Enough quoting, read the article. I like this engaged Buddhism by the author of Time To Stand Up.

Thanissara quotes the Surangama Sutra.

Lastly, "I feel the determination to break the doom scroll of inevitability by committing fully to a different world. This pledge means releasing social fear, including an internalized quietism that Buddhist culture usually elevates over speaking out, keeping us complicit."




I love dialectical and non dualistic thinking, so I offer this counter quote: "The Buddha taught: begin in hopelessness." She Who Became The Sun a novel by Shelly Parker-Chen set in Medieval China.

Maybe the animals who call themselves human will not transcend the barriers to responding to climate crisis. And we'll get all the kind of consequences that we deserve. Say half the population of the world dies. That leaves a lot of humans left. Humans won't die out. It would be a pretty horrible thing for 50% of the humans to die. Everything as we know it would be changed, from the ability to respond with science, and families would be devastated. The basic structure of society, the family, would be utterly devastated, and humans culture would take a huge toll.

At some point the sun will expand and engulf the earth and even though that's way in the future, and I expect humans will find purchase on other worlds, it's possible we won't get out of our solar system, and we get snuffed out or have a small population through our own misadventures. In the cosmic perspective we are a spec of a spec in a blink of a blink.

hahaha

"my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”"

(source)

When is Vesak Day?

Google says May 6th, this Friday, but "dates may vary". I think that may be when Korean International Lotus Lantern Parade is, but I can't get any information.

May 16th when it's the full moon? "Nowadays, in Sri Lanka, Nepal, India, Bangladesh and Malaysia, Vesak/Buddha Purnima is celebrated on the day of the first full moon in May in the Gregorian calendar." (Wikipedia) But "In China, Korea, Vietnam and the Philippines, Buddha's Birthday is celebrated on the eighth day of the fourth month in the Chinese lunar calendar. In Japan, Buddha's Birthday is observed on the same date but in the Gregorian calendar, i.e. 8 April."

International Vesak day is May 16th.

As someone who celebrates all the traditions (and perhaps therefore none) I'll go with international Vesak Day. Triratna says May 16th, my root sangha.

Gathering with sangha is the first suggestion. 

If you're alone celebrating, the suggestion of activities is:

Cleaning home and body.

Burn incense if you have it.

Chant Sutras and do pujas.

Cook special meals. Consider a special tea to drink. No meat, consider plant based meals.

Lead a minimalist life, consider abstention from sex and internet.

Meditation. Consider Buddhananasati meditation where you invoke the Buddha.

Consider doing nice things for others. Create art, plan an activity.

Offerings to the shrine: light, flowers, and other offerings.

My one experience of gathering with the larger NYC sangha was at Shambhala many many years ago. Little Sri Lankan kids recited things. A Japanese monk did calligraphy. A Korean monk spoke. There was social mixing, where I asked a guy what color robe he had--he practiced in 2 traditions and made up his own robe. 

I'm not sure what the appropriate response in the USA would be in engaged Buddhism. I read about what happened in Vietnam when the Buddhist flag was banned: In 1963, the South Vietnamese President Ngo Dinh Diem, a Catholic and younger brother of Archbishop Ngo Dinh Thuc banned the flying of the Buddhist flag. This led to a demonstration and flag-waving in defiance of the ban. Diem's forces opened fire on the Buddhist crowd, killing nine, sparking the Buddhist crisis, a period of civil disobedience against religious discrimination.

I'm concerned about the health of democracy in the USA and the further Talibaning and Christo-fascist elements. It looks like Roe v Wade might be overturned by SCOTUS. Go look at Gerri Santoro and tell me that banning abortion is the right thing to do.

I know Buddhism doesn't pick a party or politics in a way, but in another way the journey of trying to prevent harm to others is important. Climate and environmental activism doesn't have to be political, it's acting in our own best interest. And our children's interest. Future thinking is important I think.

Shelly Parker-Chan

She Who Became The Sun by Shelly Parker-Chan is a kind of Dickensian saga set in 1345 China. The following is a quote at the end of chapter 3. The heroine has escaped starvation and landed in a monastery. She takes on the identity of her brother who died of starvation and is in the male section of the monastery. 

"Denying desire only made yourself vulnerable to those who were smart enough to see what you couldn't even acknowledge to yourself." (p.61 Hardcover from the library)

There are quotes in the Pali Canon about being desireless, but I don't think it's the complete absence of desire. The Buddha continued to eat and sleep and preach after he became enlightened, so you know, something was driving him even if it was wholesome and purified and focused on the path. There is a lot of religious rhetoric and mythological speaking in the Pali Canon. I mean the Buddha came out of his mother without any fluids, and began walking and talking. I take that to point to a special being, but not literally true. How do you communicate things that are beyond words? One way is to speak mythologically. I've never been around anyone who really talked about Tusita heaven and the devas present in the early accounts, but I have an attitude towards them I have around the ancient Greek gods, the Celtic gods, the Norse gods. They are early human communications about existence. 

I have a modern western worldview, and because I've come across all kinds of mythology I find them interesting and a projection of psychology. Reincarnation might be part of this, a mythological way to talk about conditionality. I mean you can imagine other ways of being, hopefully you witness other ways of being, but you can also see personality and other aspects of what makes up a human and the vectors they pursue. 

What do all the miracles in the Pali Canon point to? The amazingness and awesomeness of the path. I don't think you need to hype it, and Buddhism does the least proselytizing of the major religions. Maybe that's why it's only 0.7% in the USA.

My friend asked me why it was so important to me. It's hard to really describe how a system and culture get absorbed into one's being through sangha, reading and study and meditation. My life hasn't been great since I found it, so one could even argue that my finding the Dharma, sangha and the Buddha hasn't been great for me. It has made me feel more healthy and whole, make the mistakes I need to make, the fortunate falls, so I could learn. We all hurt each other accidentally, but the hope of waking up is to minimize that, and points to a path of proving good into the world.

To me the point is to channel and consciously direct one's desires into positive outcomes. Act in your own best interest. I know I haven't always done that and I wish I would have done that more throughout my life. Self sabotage and not giving credence to my shadow has had disastrous consequences for me and the people I've hurt. My goal as a parent and as a human being is to not hurt others, but it happens. Insects are killed driving vegetables to the market, but it's still the least harmful thing you can do to be plant based.

I think a lot about how on The Good Place, they come to the conclusion that you can't be good any more, you're embedded in so many systems of torture and bad. Just look at your phone. And yet we like to think of ourselves as good, and the desire to be good is a healthy thing.

With the support of the sangha, through meditation, you connect to the bottom basement of information and information--your experience. Being connected to your experiences, you're harder to manipulate. The forces of capitalism are harder to force feed to you if you're attempting to wake up. The anti-woke people can't be conscious of their motives since they're against any introspection, insight or avoidance of hypocrisy. Human beings with all their messy complications can't be as easily fed into the capitalist grinder. Substance abuse helps to numb you down. The fear of communism is part and parcel of capitalist lovers, the way Putin's fears of NATO provoked NATO expansion. Against wokeness to the unintended and paradoxical consequences, prefer just to act righteously, boldly and confidently, like a man. The internalized systems of self oppression are hard to shake off.