If the Buddha doesn't "exist" anymore, what am I taking refuge in?

If you compare Buddha to God, then he looks human and mortal. Though how you get to God existing more than the Buddha, I don't know. Nothing is eternal. In the Buddha's cosmology he can teach the gods to work towards waking up.

If you compare Buddha to humans, he's awesome. He did something first, he figured out something amazing. Even if that thing is just you becoming more mindful and moving to deepen that, his example, the teachings and the community of elders helps you on that path

Taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, you bow to the example of enlightenment, the ideas that get there, the ways of being, and the community that supports that orientation. That is the act of being a Buddhist. No god is going to strike you down if you don't, or do for that matter. It's just a matter of mental commitment.

It means I won't try to use myself as the center of everything. It means I will seek to do things on the path that the Buddha suggested will be beneficial. It means I can follow the teachings to the best of my understanding of them. I can follow the 10 precepts. I can avoid intoxicants, which given my history, isn't easy. It means I shall try to avoid harming others. It means I won't steal from anyone, and I will try to practice open handed generosity. It means I will try to live with stillness, simplicity and contentment. I will strive for kind thoughts and ways of being.

If you need to take refuge in the god of your imaganings, that's OK. Just know the mental choices you make will have consequences, and anything off the path, will be off the path laid down by the Buddha, and where that leads. If you don't think it's the best path, by all means seek another one. There is no extra source out there to punish you or bully you into their path, it's just you and your life.

The imaginings of Abrahamic religions can be beautiful and lead to great things too. Even though in the west there's a lot of peer pressure and hype to believe in Christianity, that doesn't mean you don't have a choice. You can choose the best path for you. If you need some made up enforcer to a moral order or else you are a nihilist, then maybe you need that extra umph, if you can believe in it. I can't so the Buddhist path works for me. I can also combine that with what makes sense for me.

Syncretism allows me to use all the modern ideas around me in service of the goals of Buddhism: vegetarianism, environmentalism, liberalism--these all help me to be kinder towards others. You can focus on conservatism or whatever makes sense for you in your environment. I can study the beautiful in art as a guide to striving for the ideals if I want. I know some communities push to avoid having fun with art, but I see ecstatic dancing joyful and connects me to what is great. Great literature calls me to the spiritual life. Great music shows me there is something transcendental. Being in nature helps me to understand the many webs of consequences, to see out the beautiful. For me the path is beautiful.

Someone pointed out that the Buddha taught gods the way. So maybe that is more awesome than being a god, if gods don't know the path.

And if you need something extra, read the post on the Dharmakaya.

There is a sutta that is very insistent that the Buddha doesn't not exist. It feels weirdly insistent, and feels like it drifts into perfection of wisdom style text. It makes me wonder if there's a sort of platonic element, maybe the forms that don't change partake in reality. Maybe the Buddha still exists in the Dharmakaya. In the end, I think it's above my pay grade.