Rant

The feedback from one of my spiritual friends is to not pay attention to political content.

I'm just going to dump what has been bothering me. How the news media can question Biden, and not question Trump, is beyond irresponsible, and displays the oligarchy dupes leading the sheeple to subvert their own interests. Do something about it. 

I talk to people in the park. One immigrant Ukranian woman was obsessed with lazy immigrants who don't work. One woman made fun of me for voting, she said she sarcastically voted. I asked 10 people who they were going to vote for 5 ranked choice in the mayoral primaries, and one of them could name 3 candidates for mayor. Apathetic and uninterested, I think the eastern europeans, Chinese, south american, and middle eastern immigrants in my neighborhood came to America to escape political dysfunction so they could ignore it, don't really have the culture of democracy. The woman from Ivory Coast told me a story of how she lied about her eyesight to get glasses, and then the she told me Portland's protests were worse than the insurrection of January 6th. An Irish-American woman who converted to Judaism, found a guy in Idaho, and moved there where you need an adult to go to the library. The woman who didn't think vaccines work because people still get sick moved to Texas. A really friendly guy who fed the cat that was run over the other day told me the trials of Trump were political persecution, made up. I was pounced on before an AA meeting by 5 Trump lovers, and fled the meeting, infuriated because AA isn't supposed to be political, that's what it tried to change from the Oxford Group. I stopped going to that meeting after running it once a week. A neighbor said that Obama was getting rich just the way Donald Trump was. I have a friend who is also a libertarian, like the Obama's enrichment is the same as Trump's, and doesn't favor federal intervention. He was in the military and seeing the inefficiency and snafu of the military is against government. 

People imagine NYC as a den of liberalism, but not in the suburbs where I live, it's indifference and right wing Jewish people who vote against having to pay for public education and taxes because they send their children to private religious schools. There's one lady I can talk left wing politics, an Albanian woman. 

I have tried to read George Will's articulation of the conservative instinct. But I'm done trying to empathize, it's the banality of evil. You're OK with 35 children dying from gun violence, you're OK with the hundreds of thousands who died from Covid due to presidential inaction, and you're OK with the threats to health care, social security, even democracy. It's Freud's death instinct in plain daylight. It's driving me nuts.

So I have step back from cataloguing the crimes of one candidate, step back from the articulate rejoinders of John Oliver, Stephen Colbert and Bernie Sanders. The right just wants to divide us and not realize how unified we really are. America is so fragile. Libya can keep the hostages until Reagan is elected to influence the presidential election. The Axis against coming together easily disrupts us.

Let me just say, I don't want a dictatorship, I want democratic socialism. My right wing friend always accused me of wanting a dictatorship. I pointed out Spain's Franco was a right wing dictatorship, not all dictatorships are left wing. He's obsessed with communism, and yet now votes for possibly a Russian plant. His idol Ronald Reagan would be turning over in his grave. Maybe the right embraces lack of integration better, maybe it's impossible, maybe we're meant to be so greedy and grubby. My point is that I understand my political perspective colors my view, and I wish to collaborate with others, that I don't imagine my political perspective is the be all and end all. To the extent it's possible, I dialogue with the right. I don't fantasize about a left wing dictatorship, I believe in democracy. It's flawed, but it seems to be the least flawed system, and we need to democratize more. This insight lessens the fervor of my powerful trains of thought. 

To gladden the mind, to relax the emotional response, focus on my breath and insight. What are the positive things I'm doing, to unhijack my brain form this righteous narrative.

I focus on the my body, feelings, mind and the Dharma. I can control the input, control what I can control. I don't need more information to vote in the next presidential election. I don't need to stay caught up with what is going on in the world when it's too distracting.

Greed is thinking I can influence the world more even though I'm puny. It's good to be politically aware and try to share with others, but there are limits. I haven't figured out how to persuade people yet. It's good to know what is going on with the world, but if what my mind is being attracted to is unhealthy, it's my job to refocus. 

My hatred for the cheeto is really coming from self hatred at my own imperfections and misconduct. I hate my own evil. Use that to purify, or whatever, and keep it moving. There exists evil in the world, have compassion. Take care of my own mind.

The delusion of the body politic isn't my responsibility, I can do some trying to shift things, but I'm limited. I know that because we're all interconnected that I will influence the world, but you really have to have your stuff together to be a leader, so focus on getting my stuff together. My delusion are what I can work on. Keep trying to wake up. 

Take charge of what is going with me. Getting torqued up by politics isn't good for me. The hedge that it's good to connected to what is going on with the world doesn't mean that trumps my equilibrium. I'm working to increase my tolerance of apprehension of suffering. Accept my limits, accept that I am not enlightened yet, and keep positive. It's great I've delved into politics, I've learned quite a lot over the past few years. I'm an informed voted. I vote and participate. Keep up the good work. Take care of myself too, have self compassion. It's my job to find positive meaningful focuses. 

Joan Halifax: Advice from Upayans re upcoming election: Keep clearing the mind of psychosocial debris through practice, love, art, the wilds & keep aligned with the values of integrity & care, letting wisdom and courage be the guide, not the psychological manipulations of ill-meaning players.