Sense desire: I think about sex and have a desire for intimacy. I know by experience, that I just have to let it drift away. The traditional idea of focusing on the grossness of the body doesn't really work because the mind is attracted to the attractive bits and thoughts. Then food. I also like ideas. I've been studying the Transcendentalists. Margaret Fuller, Emerson, Thoreau, Hawthorn and Alcott. Margaret is moving to New York in my biography of her. Wonder how she likes New York City. I want pleasure, I push away pain, reactively.
Ill Will: If people would just do what I want, I would be so much more happy. I have hatred of myself, for mistakes I've made in the past. That quite naturally leads to ...
Anxiety and restlessness. In the book I'm reading about the Hindrances, it talks about remorse in this section. I'm utterly filled with remorse. Eject it, and move forward positively. I've also had a lot of restlessness too. I didn't drink coffee, and I was still restless. Must be in my body.
Sloth and Torpor: I need energy to stick to it. I almost quit 28 minutes into my 40 minute sit because my legs hurt, I'm uncomfortable. No. I will fulfill my commitment.
Doubt: It is doubt that tells me that I could quit meditating and it wouldn't matter.
Methods: Identify and investigate.
Britney Spears wants to meditate more.
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